After the Sun Set
by TopazSun
Summary: Follows Eclipse epilogue: Jacob has fled but where will his life take him from here? Following how he copes with love lost and everyday life. His future doesn't look bleak for long! Yes, the Cullens make appearances.
1. The Escape

_AN: After I finished Eclipse I just about threw my book on the ground screaming "noooo it can't end like that." I know where Edward and Bella's story will eventually take them but what was going to happen to Jacob? I know his fan club might not be as big as Edward's but I love him just the same. This is my first attempt at fanfiction so be gentle with me. I want to give a biiiig thanks to my beta, Kate Pedroso, for being so wonderful to a first-timer. (If you haven't read them then go check out her stories "The Half-Breed Diaries".) I hope you enjoy this and I'll be looking forward to reviews, good or bad. I have quite a few chapters written but if no one likes them I won't post more. Enjoy!!_

_I've noticed there have been a lot of hits for the first chapter and from there it dwindles...don't just read the first, continue reading. I know the first couple chapters are on the sad, contemplative side but I'm having a lot of fun with the wolves and their characters in following chapters. Keep reading, trust me, you'll enjoy it._

**_Disclaimer: All characters belong to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer and her Twilight Series. Stephenie, I hope I do Jacob justice._**

**Jacob Black**

**The Escape**

I swore I was never going back. All I wanted to do was run, run as far away as possible to escape everyone and everything. I knew it would be difficult considering our range of communication was well over three hundred miles, but what else could I do?

I tried to concentrate on my movements, the pull of muscle, the pumping of my blood, the feel of the soft earth beneath my feet. I tried to keep my thoughts clear as the wind rushed through my shaggy fur. But just the thought of my fur reminded me of _her_ and the night she asked my about the length. _Was that really only days ago, _I wondered to myself. It had been the best night of my life, hands down, as long as you excluded the fact that her leech of a boyfriend was included in the memory; but I blocked him out at the momentThe feeling of her small body beside mine, her cool, smooth skin, her soft breathing, her silky hair as I ran my fingers through it, the full lips that tasted as good as they looked… I howled as my body convulsed. It was a sound of pain, the worst kind of agony. _Everything reminds me of her!_ I knew my running away was just a form of denial. _I am going to lose her and there is nothing I can do to change that_.

That single thought broke my concentration and brought me skidding to a stop, almost crashing into a large redwood right in front of me. I lay down on the damp earth, the world's largest tears running freely from my eyes. Even in my wolf form I found I was able to curl into a ball. I knew I was too upset to phase back at the moment; and even if I could, I wasn't completely sure I wanted to. I felt like I was falling to pieces. _I wonder if this is what Bella felt like…._I trailed off at the thought, not wanting to go any further. I couldn't stop the image running through my head though; Bella, like a ghost of her former self, clutching her arms around herself to keep from falling apart. I'd seen her like that so often and all it made me want to do was be the glue that held her together, to hold her close in my arms and make it all go away. My body seemed to convulse as the pain coursed through me. _I did what I could_, I tried to remind myself, willing this hurt to go away. I had put myself out there and even though I did not regret professing my love to her, and receiving hers in return, it didn't make the sharp stab of rejection disappear. Not even close.

I don't know how long I lay there wallowing in my own misery. Eventually my tears dried. I didn't know one person could shed so many tears, but I knew this wouldn't be the last time they would run. I'd cried myself into a calm, coma like state and was able to phase back. My naked human body was lying in the mud created by my river of tears. I honestly didn't care.

I finally looked up from the ground and stared at the ceiling of foliage above me. I was still in a forest but it was different than the one around home. The trees were much, much bigger and the canopy above me seemed never ending. It was so thick that I couldn't tell the time of day. I had no idea where I was at this point or where I wanted to go. I'd been running blindly for over a day, covering more ground in a shorter amount of time than any of us ever had in the past. All I knew was that I couldn't stay where I was. Just laying here would eventually risk exposure. Besides, I felt exhausted and hungry. Part of me wanted to let the ache in my belly grow, to see if it could overpower the ache in my heart.

_HA! Who am I kidding_, I asked myself. _Nothing would ever or could ever match this. _I shook my head at the thought, trying to deny the inevitable. I tried concentrating on scolding myself. Part of me did feel like an idiot for not thinking of my physical needs when I first ran. I left the house so quickly that I was now without money, without any tools, without any clothes. I'd thrown off everything I wore without a thought to the leather band around my leg.

Remembering the last time I was home brought flashes of memories. _The wolves, my brothers…I can't just leave them behind. _Sam must have believed the area was safe, at least for the time being, because neither he nor the others had phased during my run. I was amazingly grateful for that. I didn't know what was worse, the pity from most of them or the ridicule from the few. It was bad enough that I had to manage my own wild thoughts and feelings; adding theirs to the mix made it almost impossible to breathe.

The next thought made me return to reality. _Billy. _I had to go back; I didn't really have a choice. I knew my wolf brothers would never let anything happen to him, but he was still my father and I had responsibilities. I'd been taking care of him for as long as I could remember and I couldn't just leave him like this. I knew he would understand my selfishness but that didn't mean it was acceptable.

I pushed aside my physical need for rest and food. _I have the rest of my life to sleep and food can wait. _I pushed myself up off the ground and moved along the trail my own scent had left behind. My quick strides turned into a sprint and I flung myself into the air as the wolf inside me ripped itself out. I was going back. I told myself it wasn't for me, that it was for those I'd left behind…Billy and my Quileute brothers. A smaller, more insistent voice told me I was a liar; I was going back for her.


	2. Homecoming

_Jacob is such a real character to me. He is just like any other person finding love and losing it for the first time. Can you see some of yourself in him?_

_Thanks to Kate Pedroso for the wonderful beta!_

**_Disclaimer: All characters belong to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer and her Twilight series. Stephenie, I hope I did Jacob justice._**

I walked toward the edge of the forest, headed in the direction of my tattered little garage. It was later in the evening, the last of the sun lighting my way. _The way to my little Taj Mahal_. I smiled at that and then winced at the piercing pain in my chest. I pushed the thought away. I swept aside the tarp hanging over the back wall and opened the trunk of my old car. I always kept a spare change of clothes in here. I could have walked into the house bare naked and Billy wouldn't have cared, but it still seemed awkward. I just settled for a pair of boxers since I needed a shower anyway.

I made my way toward the house and reached the front stoop before I realized there were voices coming from the kitchen. The voices were low but I must have been distracted not to hear them. My hand reached for the front door knob before I realized who the voices belonged to. Billy was there, of course, and the other voice was as distinct as my own father's. _I wonder what Charlie is doing here._ I could imagine and it was definitely a topic I wanted to avoid.

I hadn't heard any of the conversation, and I didn't want to. I could just imagine walking through the door. I would look Charlie in the eye and see more of the pity I was trying to avoid. Instead of going in I wheeled around and jogged towards the beach. The place had always seemed like a refuge in the past but I didn't know what kind of feelings it would stir in me now. I worked my way along a shortcut, down a trail, to the sandy shore. I stayed to one side of the beach, purposefully avoiding the other. That bleached out log was now off limits, at least if I wanted to stay somewhat sane.

It was so beautiful here, so calming. I sat down in the sand and pulled my legs close, resting my elbows on my knees, and just stared at the soothing waves flowing back and forth. The sun was setting and at first all I could hear was the lapping of the water upon the rocks. Then an odd sound entered my ears; a gasping sound that was totally out of place.

I broke out of my trance to realize that I was making that noise. My lungs seemed to gasp for air even though I wasn't running. My chest heaved with the effort and all I could do was put my head between my knees to keep everything from going black as stars floated before my eyes. It was then, as I noticed drops falling into the sand, that I realized there were tears running down my face. The pain was a delayed reaction and my body writhed with it. It felt like I was being torn in two. This was different than when my body used to shake with the effort to keep from phasing. I had never felt anything so powerful in my life and I didn't know how to react…so I just gave in to it and my body crumpled sideways into the sand.

I lay there like a child, curled up with my knees to my chest to help me capture whatever little breath I could. I buried my head in my hands. Time passed; the air became cooler, but I didn't look up. All of a sudden I felt the sand near me shift; another warm body sat itself beside me. All I had to do was take a breath to know who it was.

I didn't have the energy to sit up, to shove him away, or to ask that he leave. Sam sat there, not saying a word. He laid a calming hand on my shoulder and it was enough. Sam didn't pity me, he didn't scorn my emotions. He couldn't empathize with my feelings, but he could sympathize. I knew how pathetic I must look, my six foot seven inch muscled frame curled around itself, dried tears mixing with the sand on my face. I could imagine Leah seeing this image in Sam's head and making a mockery out of me. That woke me enough out of my daze to sit up and look at him. He wasn't even looking at me. I realized that he was trying to respect my privacy, so this image wouldn't be passed on to the others, while still being a support. As much as I didn't want to admit it, I needed that. It made me respect him more than ever.

He didn't say a word as I got up, walking slowly towards the ocean. I stopped at the edge of the water, letting it wash over my feet. It was ice cold and exactly what I needed. I dove in headfirst letting the shock of the freezing water jar me. I swam hard and fast. It felt good to stretch my muscles. I stayed under the water until my lungs burned for air. I broke the surface about a hundred yards from shore. The water was churning, pulling me first in one direction and then the other. It felt like an appropriate metaphor for my life right now. I stopped fighting the current and slowly started back, letting the tide carry me in.

I shook my head back and forth as I walked out of the water, my chin length hair spraying water droplets everywhere. _Just like a dog, _I thought. I walked back up the beach and Sam stood to meet me.

I spoke first, "How did you know I was back?" I was startled, hearing my hoarse voice for the first time in almost two days. It sounded so weak, so strange compared to my naturally deep voice.

"I didn't. I happened to be running near here and picked up your scent." Sam replied. His face was calm, serene, but his eyes were concerned. I could tell that he didn't want to push me away and he didn't want me to run again so he stayed silent.

I could see it so I assured him "I'm not going anywhere." I trudged through the sand to the road nearby. Sam walked noiselessly alongside me, matching my stride. "I don't think I will be running with the pack for….a little while at least. I need to sort this out by myself and I can't do that with everyone inside my head."

Sam didn't look at me as he replied. "Take as much time as you need. None of us will stop by or call unless you specifically ask. The female leech and her army are gone and although I don't exactly trust the Cullen's, I don't feel threatened by them at this time."

A flare of anger seared through me at the mere mention of their name from Sam's lips, and a low growl erupted from deep inside. This was the first time that he had ever recognized them in this fashion, like people instead of the bloodsuckers they really are. A small part of me felt betrayed by this, but the larger part felt fury and hatred and…pure, unadulterated jealousy.


	3. The Ocean Inside

_This chapter is shorter but I promise there will be longer ones to come...if you're interested. Jacob and the wolves did work with the Cullens for the newborn battle but that doesn't erase all the animosity there. Add the wolves' natural dislike of vampires to Jacob's blatant jealousy and what do you get? Thanks to Kate Pedroso for the beta. Thank you for reviewing._

**_Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer and her Twilight series. Stephenie, I hope I did Jacob justice._**

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Sam and I continued walking toward home but I wasn't focused. _The perfect Cullens_. Even in my head I sneered at that. _They already had everything, why must they take more?! _They had more than most people could boast in a lifetime. But that was why, because they had so many lifetimes. I did not envy them this but I did envy their relationships. I was ashamed to admit it simply because they were my mortal enemy, treaty or not. I really did not know any of them. _And I don't want to,_ I told myself. But after watching them in the clearing while practicing for the newborn attack it was obvious that the relationships each pair shared were similar to those shared by Sam and Emily, Jared and Kim…and yes, I was JEALOUS.

_You're only really jealous of ONE of those relationships,_ the voice inside my head reminded me. I closed my eyes to concentrate from bursting out of my body. Her chocolate brown eyes stared at me from behind my lids. I had to stop walking, bending forward at the waist and holding my hands to my head as if trying to keep it from exploding. I could feel the hot fury melt down my spine as an image of Bella kissing that filthy bloodsucker invaded my mind next, my body shaking so hard a normal person's teeth would chatter. I worked against that rage and straightened my body out, staring up at the sky. I let it all out in one frightening and deafening howl. _This is better, anger I can handle, _I told myself as I walked at a determined pace back to the house And that was the truth. I'd rather be angry, directing it towards one specific being than fall to pieces over another. If I let myself, I'd end up being just as empty a shell as Bella had been not so long ago. Except for one thing. _There would be no one to hold me together. _Angrily I pushed that thought out of my mind. Anger could make me strong, while wallowing in self pity would only drown me.

Sam must have been watching me carefully the whole time. He must have recognized the beast inside me, the conflicting emotions roiling like an ocean during a storm. "Don't lose yourself, Jacob. Don't let this change the person you are deep inside. Love and hate are the two of the most powerful emotions a person can feel. They can make your life worth living or drive you mad. Find a way to survive this, Jacob. None of us can afford to lose you." He said this slowly, waiting for me to look at him so that he knew I heard him. Even though I didn't acknowledge this I knew he was right, I needed to find a balance…eventually. For now I would let my raw anger weld the pieces of my heart back together. _The pieces of my soul, well, that was another matter._ Again, it was that tiny but absurdly strong voice.

Time seemed to speed up and slow down randomly over the day; I suddenly realized that we were now in front of my house, and I didn't remember the entire trip here. The house was dark; this relieved me a bit, it meant that Charlie was gone.

I sighed but my face remained like stone, my voice void of emotion. "Thank you, Sam, for everything. I appreciate it…more than you know." I walked away from him then, knowing I didn't need to wait for a response. Sam disappeared smoothly into the darkness, not even a leaf rustling in his wake.

I walked into house, glad Billy had gone to bed. I knew if I wasn't quiet that he would come out to investigate and I didn't feel like getting into a conversation right now. I looked at the clock over the stove. It was after midnight but I wasn't ready for bed. I walked over to the refrigerator, pulling out item after item. I felt like I was starving. I ate and ate, ripping into my food with more aggression than was necessary. I'd eaten half the refrigerator's contents before my hunger was satiated. I chuckled to myself. _That will give Billy something to do in the morning; grocery shopping._

Once I was done eating I didn't know what to do with myself. I was exhausted but I didn't want to go to sleep. If I had to be honest with myself it was because I was afraid to dream. I was afraid that the fragile wall I'd just built around my heart would come crumbling down. I went into the living room and sprawled across the couch. I found the remote and started flipping through the channels, finding a replay of a baseball game; knowing anything else might break me.

I fought against my heavy eyelids, willing them to stay open. Without even realizing it I fell into darkness.


	4. The Meadow

_Well, I'm not getting much in the way of reviews so I'm just going to continue this writing just to please myself. Enjoy the chapter and please review, good or bad, at the end. I appreciate the comments._

**_Disclaimer: The characters belong to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer and her Twilight series. Stephenie, I hope I did Jacob justice._**

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I opened my eyes to see that I was in the forest again. The meadow was in front of me filled with tall grass and little white and yellow wildflowers. It was the one that the pack and I found Bella in the day Laurent…_well, the day Laurent ceased to exist_. That particular memory brought a big slow grin to my face, not one of happiness but of satisfaction. I could still see that black-haired leech, crouched in a cat-like stance, ready to pounce on her. He had been drawing it out to scare her and concentrating on that so much that he didn't hear us coming. The look of comprehension that spread across his face when he realized what we were there to do, it made it only that much more pleasurable when we tore him to shreds. It had been like Christmas and we ripped him open with the same enthusiasm a child would with their presents.

The clearing was empty, or so I thought. As I walked to the edge of the trees I noticed that I had been wrong. Someone was lying in the middle, originally hidden by the grass. I stopped when I realized who it was. _Bella_. Her eyes were closed, her hands on her stomach with her fingers woven together. Her legs were straight out in front of her, crossed at the ankles. Her hair was fanned out around her head, the warm brown color a sharp contrast to her normally perfect pale skin. I would have been worried if it wasn't for the fact that she still had that wonderfully pink tinge to her cheeks even in this state. Her scent wafted over to me on the light breeze and I closed my eyes in pleasure. Bella never wore perfume but her natural scent was as tantalizing as any I'd ever smelled. She looked so beautiful, so peaceful. I considered lying down beside her and kissing her full, pouty red lips. _My own sleeping beauty, just awaiting me to wake her_.

I opened my eyes but before I could take a step into the sunlight a new scent caught my attention and I froze. It burned my nose with its icy, too sweet smell. It was a scent that I was very familiar with and the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. _He_ appeared at the other side of the clearing, directly across from me. I was still, waiting for him to see me, smell me, to acknowledge that he knew I was there. Edward did no such thing though, walking straight to Bella. He laid down beside her and stroked her face. He leaned in and did exactly what I had imagined myself doing only a moment ago, he kissed her. She woke and the smile I missed most in all this world stretched across her face. Instead of making me happy it brought profound sadness because it wasn't for me.

I tried to turn around and leave but I couldn't move. I watched something I never wanted to see again as he brought his lips back to hers. _He is trying to torture me, he knows I'm here._ I wanted to clear my throat or draw some kind of attention to myself so Bella would know I was here and that they would stop but no sound would come out. I looked around for something to make some noise with. I reached to snap a twig off the tree nearest to me but my hand wouldn't extend. I was completely immobile and I was starting to panic.

I looked back to the meadow and now Bella and Edward were talking. They were both sitting up in the grass, facing each other. _Odd_, I couldn't hear their voices. They were obviously not trying to keep their conversation private. No matter what I should have been able to hear them but I didn't. _What is going on?_ I continued to look on, the confusion building. They looked serious now. It looked like Bella was pleading with him about something. Finally a resigned look passed across Edward's face and he took her face in his hands. He kissed both her eyes, her nose, then her lips and down her neck. He pulled her close as he kissed her throat. Comprehension passed through my body as Edward's lips pulled back over his teeth. _He is going to bite her!_

I fought against my invisible prison, snarls and growls ripping through my chest. My teeth gnashed in anger. _How could he do this to her? How could he rip away any chance at an actual life? How selfish can one being be?! And her, how could she do this? Why NOW?_ I was fighting with all the strength in my body but it was futile. God was punishing me by making me watch this. I was anchored to my own hell.

Horror washed through my body as he bit into the smooth skin of her neck. She threw her head back and the moment was almost too painful to watch. It seemed too intimate, like she was enjoying it. Edward pulled back after a moment and the bite was apparent. There wasn't anything I could do now. All of a sudden the force holding me back released me and I dropped to my knees. Fierce determination coursed through my body. _There is something I can do. I can rip his throat out! _I got to my feet and sprang forward.

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**Remember: Please review. I love hearing your comments!**


	5. Inevitable

_Thank you to those readers who have made it this far. I think some people never made it past the first chapter. Keep reading, I've got a few twists up my sleeve and quite a few chapters yet. I've really enjoyed writing from Jacob's perspective and I hope you're enjoying reading it. Please review after you read, comments make writing easier. Thank you to my beta, Kate Pedroso, I appreciate your hard work._

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I woke up then, my body falling to the floor. I sprang to my feet, my sleepy haze not quite clear. I looked at my surroundings. I was back in the living room but the couch was now one big pile of splintered wood with tatters of blue fabric over it. Both ends of the couch had been separated from the whole and the back had huge gashes in it. _I must have torn it apart during my dream._ The final death blow to it had landed me on the floor. Billy was not going to be pleased. Not only had I torn apart most of my wardrobe and almost ate us out of house and home over the last few months, I was now destroying whatever we had left in the place.

I could hear Billy scrambling in his room, trying to get up. I could only imagine how much I must have scared him with my attack on the couch. I quietly made my way down the hall to his room and gently knocked on the door.

"Dad, its just me." I said softly. "Can I come in?" I didn't really wait for an answer. Instead I opened the door and peered around it. His room was small, just big enough for his full size bed, a dresser, and his wheelchair. It was pretty sparsely decorated with only a few pictures of him and my mother scattered around the room. Billy was sitting up on the side of the bed in his t-shirt and boxers, looking up at me expectantly. Pure relief washed over his face and part of me felt guilty for causing whatever worry he must have felt while I was away. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," he said. "What was that commotion I just heard? I thought there was a war going on out there." He had no idea how close he was, except the war was going on in my head.

"I'm afraid the couch has seen its dying day. I'm really sorry, Dad. I fell asleep out there last night and my dreams…" I trailed off, not wanting to tell him what it was about and hoping he wouldn't ask. Thankfully he didn't.

Billy slowly worked his way to a standing position. I went to go grab his wheelchair for him but he waved me away. He said he was going to shower first and gingerly made his way towards the bathroom, a hand on the wall for support. Our house was pretty small so he didn't have far to travel.

Billy's bedside clock said that it was only a little after seven in the morning. I was extremely tired but I didn't want to go back to sleep. I was still in my boxers from last night but I was at least clean, the ocean waters washing away all the mud and grime from the last few days. I went to my room and grabbed a pair of black sweats that were folded on my bed. Billy must have gone outside and gathered the clothes that I scattered during my escape. Another wave of guilt washed over me.

I knew we were going to have to sit down and talk so I went to the kitchen to start breakfast. My little midnight meal hadn't left a whole lot in refrigerator but I managed to scrounge up eggs, some bacon, and milk as well as a box of just-add-water pancake mix from the cupboard. It would work for now and I could take Billy to the store later. It would give me something to do, to keep me busy for a little while at least. I laid the bacon in the skillet and started cracking the eggs. I scrambled them and then mixed the pancake batter. These tasks were only enough to keep my hands busy and my mind started to wander.

I tried not to think about anything that would make my chest ache again but that was extremely difficult. Everything in my life lately was connected in one way or another to a subject I wanted to avoid. Its not that I didn't like to think about Bella. On the contrary, in the past there were times when I could have thought about her for hours on end. Now she was a question mark in my life. A question that only had one foreseeable answer and it seemed inevitable. My dream pushed its way into my mind and I shook my head, trying to clear it.

I poured out batter on the griddle, started the eggs, and turned the bacon. I opened the window over the kitchen sink and another next to the table. A cool breeze made its way in, the smell a mix of rain and the forest. I took a deep breath and it seemed to relax me. I started dishing out the food, piling more on my plate than Billy's. He wasn't much of a breakfast person and I was hungry. Billy made it to the table just in time. He sniffed the food appreciatively and we both dug in. Not a word was spoken during the meal and after we'd finished we sat there quietly. I knew a talk was coming but I wasn't going to be the one to start it.

"How are you doing, Jake," he asked simply. I needed a second to find the right words so I looked out the window, watching the breeze sway the branches on the tree right outside.

I tried to be as honest as possible. "I don't know." That was the truth. There were so many thoughts and emotions running through my body that I hard a hard time distinguishing them all. "I feel like I'm a mess."

"Well yes, you look like hell," Billy said, trying to make the conversation light. "Ever heard of a comb?" I looked back at him and he was smiling but the smile didn't reach his eyes.

I tried running my fingers through the strands but it was no use, they were tied in knots. I rolled my eyes. "I'll work on that. Thanks."

Now it was Billy's turn to look out the window. "Charlie was here last night."

"I know," I replied. "I got back while he was still here but I didn't exactly feel like getting into a conversation with anyone." I tore my eyes away from Billy and looked at the corkboard that usually kept postcards, candid pictures of family, and other personal papers. Pegged there was a creamy white rectangle of thick paper. Even across the room I could see that it was an RSVP card. I knew exactly what it was for.

I must have been staring because Billy's next words caught my attention. "He is worried about you, you know." Just what I needed, to feel guilty about something else.

"Well, what does he want me to do? Bella has made up her mind." I could feel the anger starting to kindle inside. "I don't like it but I'm trying to respect her wishes by staying away. I don't want to make this any more difficult for anyone than it has to be." I didn't know if that really meant that I wanted to make this easier on Bella or if I was just trying to protect myself. I wasn't completely sure that seeing her again would be a good idea, even though I knew I'd never pass at the chance. I wanted Bella to be happy, I truly did. But the selfish part of me would always admit that I only really wanted to see her happy with ME.

"He wanted to know if we'll be coming to the wedding. I told him that I wasn't sure of that myself." Billy was speaking slowly now, probably so I wouldn't explode. "I'm not sure if going would be prudent considering the treaty but obviously it would be an occasion for truce. He is having a rough time with this."

_CHARLIE was having a rough time with this?! If only he knew what kind of life he was giving his daughter away to_. I took a deep cleansing breath. "Go, Dad, I know Charlie could use your support. As for me, I don't know if I have the self control for that." Involuntarily my imagination created an image before me. Bella in a beautiful white dress, her dark hair curled softly around her face, her smile and deep chocolate eyes for only one…man. My stomach lurched and it almost brought my breakfast back up.

Billy saw what this was doing to me and tried changing the subject. "While you were away I invited some people over for a barbeque this coming weekend. I figured the start of summer was as good a reason as any. Mostly it was the usual crew but I invited Charlie as well. If you don't want to stick around for it I'll understand." He started to push away from the table but I stopped him.

"I'll get your chair, Dad," I said. I went to his room and was back in a moment. "I'll let you know about this weekend. For now though, why don't we head into town and get some groceries. I didn't leave much in there after I got home." Billy agreed and I went to change clothes. I returned to the front hallway to see Billy in the entrance to the living room.

"What did that couch ever do to you, Jake," he said in amazement. That made me genuinely laugh. "Well, it looks like we'll have to find something else. That can't be fixed." He looked at me and we both broke out into laughter. It felt good, natural. I relaxed a bit as we were leaving. _Maybe I'll actually be ok,_ I thought but it felt forced, as if I was trying to convince myself. _I guess I'll just have to take it one step at a time._

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**_A/N: I have more chapters for those who are interested! Please keep reviewing!!_**


	6. Chance Meeting

_I'm going to write more of the wolves in as I go, I think they are interesting and unexplored characters. Leah kind of reminds me of the wolf version of Rosalie. _

_Thank you to those of you who are reviewing, please continue!! I'd like to know how you see Jacob. I'm hoping that I'm capturing him well. Thank you to Kate Pedroso for the beta._

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Since my old Rabbit wasn't big enough for both Billy's chair and the amount of groceries we normally had to buy, we usually borrowed the black Ford from the Clearwater's. I almost berated myself for offering to take Billy grocery shopping for the fear that I was going to come across Leah. "Are the Clearwater's going to let us borrow the car?"

"Yes, I called Sue while you were changing and she was fine with it." When Billy said this I sighed with relief. Hopefully that meant that I could get the keys from Sue and bypass any chance of seeing Leah all together. Like usual, I wasn't that lucky.

Their one story house was as small as ours. It was white with soft blue shutters that Harry had repainted only a few months before he died. The house was at the end of a cul-de-sac and was surrounded on three sides by the forest. That was good, especially with two new werewolves in the house. It was easy access for an escape.

Leah was sitting on the porch swing as we pulled to the curb, her body very relaxed but a mocking grin spread across her face. "Well, well, look who has come back. Just couldn't stay away, eh?" She had no idea how badly I wanted to wipe that smile off her face in a very violent manner. Or maybe she did. I wouldn't put it past her to egg me on.

"We're here to borrow the car," I said, as if she didn't already know. _Please, please let her just drop it and let us be on our way,_ I hoped. I unfolded myself from the driver's seat and pulled Billy's chair out. Billy was already trying to get out and I hoped that Leah would at least respect Billy enough, as our unofficial tribe leader, to stay away from any topic that would cause a fight.

"Oh, I know. I figured I would stick around to give you the keys. Going into town?" Again, with asking questions she already knew the answer to.

This time it was Billy who replied. "We're going grocery shopping. I can barely keep the fridge stocked with food as it is but if I'm going to throw that barbeque this weekend I need to get a head start. Can you all make it?" _Don't encourage her, _the voice inside me pleaded.

"Of course, I wouldn't miss it." A smile, if that was what you could call it, crossed her face. These days when she was smiling it looked more like she was grimacing. _It is too bad she let her jealousy turn her into such a bitter harpy_.

The thought made me feel a twinge of guilt because I was now in a situation that was very similar to hers. _Maybe I could be more understanding; but then again, maybe so could she._ _I might have to sit down with her someday; maybe we can come to a truce…at least for our own sanity and that of the pack. _Just looking at her cocky demeanor was telling me that that truce might not happen for awhile. Peace with her seemed an easy place to start considering what else lay in front of me.

She came down the walk and handed me the keys. "Thank you, Leah," I said sincerely. She looked up at me with a guarded expression as if trying to figure out of there was some sarcasm behind that comment. She must have seen otherwise because her face softened and she gruffly said, "You're welcome" and then turned and walked into the house.

We got into the car and drove towards Forks. If we just wanted to pick up an item or two we could use the very small store on the reservation, but it would be more expensive if we shopped there for everything. I was worried about running into the Cullen's in town, but then checked myself. _They don't eat, what would be the chances of it?_ So the only real concern was running into Bella. _I might be able to handle that_. I could feel it, something like hope welling up inside. I squashed that quickly. It wasn't something to hope for.

I turned the stereo to a local rock station. No sappy love or country songs for me. I wasn't listening much, just trying to keep away any conversation and Billy didn't protest. I must not have been concentrating much on the drive itself because before I knew it we were in front of the store and I had no recollection of getting there. Everything in between was just full of wondering. _What would I do if I was to ever run into Bella?_ _Would I acknowledge her? Would I walk in the opposite direction? Would I ignore her all together?_ I never did come up with an answer. I figured all the what-ifs would drive me insane.

I got out of the car and looked up at the sky. _Another overcast day in Forks_. Not much seemed to change here. _If you weren't living in a world of magic and legend._ A 'normal' task like grocery shopping just felt odd.

I opened the door to the store, letting Billy enter before me. The second I passed the threshold I smelled one of _them._ The hairs on the back of my neck and arms stood up. To be honest, since the newborn attack I wasn't afraid of the Cullen's, and I knew they were no direct threat to anyone in town. That didn't change the fact that my body naturally reacted to them and that I was still uncomfortable. I almost asked Billy if we could come back another time, but I knew that they would be in Forks at least until the wedding. I swallowed compulsively as a wave of nausea hit me and I fought the taste of bile in my mouth.

We got a cart and started down one of the isles. Twenty minutes later we were standing in front of the deli and meat department. I could smell the stench become stronger and hear Bella's almost musical voice before they reached us. She was speaking in such a low whisper that I had to strain to hear her. I purposefully kept my back turned as they approached, pretending to concentrate on the different meats in the cases but ignoring what Billy was asking the attendant.

"Alice, you've got to help me here. What should I make for dinner? Charlie insists on this dinner because we'll all be family soon but…what the heck am I supposed to feed seven vam-…seven of you? Where are you all going to hide it? I don't want you to have to actually eat anything and just have to wretch it up later." _Oh what I wouldn't give to be there to see that._ I thought with a snicker._ I'd gladly heap the food on their plates myself. _Bella sounded anxious. But then again she worried about everything so this wasn't anything new. "Alice? Alice?"

Even without turning around I knew Alice was aware of me. I am so big I was seriously surprised Bella hadn't noticed me herself. She was so close that I could smell her as well. I closed my eyes, inhaling the scent and cherishing it. It was so much more potent than the ghost of it that lingered in my dreams.

Bella's voice woke me out of my daze. "Jake?" I could sense the emotion in her voice and that made me afraid to turn around. I did anyway. She was as beautiful as ever. So much so that it almost took my breath away. She wasn't wearing her usual jeans and t-shirt combo so I figured that Alice had dressed her. She was wearing a sapphire blue sundress that dipped in the front and gathered under her bust line before flowing softly to her knees. She was wearing a matching short sweater over the top and brown, flat, strappy sandals that showed off her tiny feet. Her hair was pulled back revealing the creamy skin of her neck. Her dark eyelashes highlighted her gorgeous chocolate eyes. She wore some kind of lip gloss that enhanced their sensual curve. Now that I knew how they tasted and felt beneath my own I had to hold myself back from taking seconds…and thirds. I had such a strong urge to bend her over in one of those Hollywood style kisses. Of course, that would never happen now.

"Hi Bella. Alice." The situation was uncomfortable and the tension was palpable. I stood with my hands tucked into my jeans pockets, feeling like an awkward teenager who had just broke up with his girlfriend and was seeing her again for the first time. Of course she had never been mine.

"What are you guys doing here?" She looked curiously at me.

"The fridge was practically empty and Dad plans on barbequing this weekend so we needed to stock up." It was such a simple answer that Bella visibly relaxed and a blush spread over her face. "You didn't think I was stalking you, did you?"

She didn't answer but her red hot face told me that she thought I had ulterior motives for coming into town. _Yeah, like I just waited around to find out when she was coming to the store so I could just 'happen' to run into her._ This irritated me a little and I rolled my eyes. "Relax Bella, I made a promise and I keep my promises. I'll stay out of the way…as long as you want me to." I didn't bother looking at her as I said this. Instead I kept a cool mask of composure on my face, the one that I knew annoyed her to no end. I wouldn't feel guilty about it either. S_he wanted me to comply with her wishes, that's what she was going to get._

"Errrm…How are you doing?" I knew she was just being polite. She was just as uncomfortable as I was. Alice just stood there silently taking it all in. There was no emotion on her face, still as stone.

"Do you really want to know, Bella?" I asked curiously. I really did want to tell her what her choice was doing to me, but I knew it wouldn't do me any good.

She hesitated in answering that and I could tell she didn't really want to hear it, so I told her what she needed to hear instead. "I'm fine." My jaw unconsciously clenched at the lie.

She reached out to touch my arm. "Jake…." I could hear the sadness in her voice and I couldn't take it.

I took a step back and turned around to Billy. "Ready to check out, Dad?" Billy had been quietly observing the whole interchange after getting what he needed. He nodded his head.

"You have a good day, Bella. Alice." Billy was nothing if not polite. They both nodded in reply and I could tell Bella was going to start tearing up. I needed to get out fast. Luckily, the deli had been our last stop and we were able to check out quickly.

I pushed the cart out to the lot as fast as I possibly could and let Billy catch up at his own pace. Instead of loading the groceries into the car I put my elbows on the roof of the car and buried my face in my hands. I had to breathe deeply to keep the tears from spilling over but I managed. After a minute I took a step back from the car and pushed the cart to the trunk. I loaded the car with the groceries and Billy's chair and got in.

As I drove towards home I replayed the meeting in my mind. The short encounter was as difficult as I imagined it would be, but I was proud of myself; I had survived it.

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**_A/N: I'm sorry that their first meeting was so short but I've been in the position Jacob and Bella are in, it isn't a comfortable first meeting. They'll have more interaction in later stories. Please keep reviewing!! The next chapter is one of my favorites._**


	7. At the Edge of the World

_This chapter isn't that long but it was one of my favorite to write. Quil and Embry have fast become two of my favorite characters. I don't know their personalities exactly but I see Quil as fun and a bit naive/childish at times and Embry as very sarcastic. I love them. I wanted to write more of everyday life on the res and hopefully give Jacob some happiness that we all know he deserves. I hope you guys enjoy this bit of innocent fun. Please review and let me know what you think, good or bad! (Thanks to my overworked beta, Kate Pedroso, I appreciate your work.)_

**_Disclaimer: All characters belong to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer and her Twilight series. Stephenie, I hope I've done Jacob justice._**

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I helped Billy put the groceries away and then took the Clearwater's car back. No one was around so I stuck the keys in their mail slot. I got in my Rabbit and started to head towards home, but after thinking about it decided I didn't want to. _Its summer, I'm going to go nuts if I just hide out at home all day every day_. 

The day was turning out to be gorgeous. It was one of those rare days where the sun actually made an appearance and the breeze coming in through the window smelled of freshly cut grass. I suddenly felt the urge to run, really run. I drove home as quickly as possible and changed into my jean cutoffs, not bothering to button them. I let Billy know I would be back later; I didn't want him to think that I'd taken off on him again, and then I was hurrying towards the trees.

When I could no longer be seen from the road I stripped off the shorts and knelt down to tie them to my leg. _Thank heavens Sam made that suggestion._ The first time I had phased back to my human self was slightly embarrassing. I'd walked into the house that day to find Billy waiting for me and all I could do was hide myself with a tiny, greasy towel from the garage. Billy had just smiled and told me to go change while I turned beet red, despite my dark skin. Ever since then I kept a change of clothes in the Rabbit and the band on my leg.

Most of the modesty that I'd felt before had faded over time and now I didn't mind being half naked. I even enjoyed it sometimes. _Especially to make a particular someone nervous, _I reminded myself with a grin. Making Bella blush had become one of my favorite pastimes. Remembering that amazing red color against her pale skin, the heat of her face in my hands, how she would drop her eyes…it once made me wonder how far down her body the blush went. That brought back feelings of lust that I was actively trying to ignore. The figure in my mind had been the things dreams were made of, my dreams at least. She had starred in them more than once. Even as I thought about it my heart started to race and I could feel my blood pumping faster. _STOP!_ I didn't consider myself a masochist, but I could feel myself welcoming this particular pain. I knew I had to stop.

I sighed and straightened up as I finished tying the band and started into a slow jog, then a sprint, then a quick leap into the air. A slight twinge and I was in my wolf form. Becoming a wolf didn't exactly hurt; it just stretched our human nerves as we tore out of ourselves. After awhile it could actually be pleasurable, or at least distracting.

I ran, the cool shadow of the forest welcoming my burning form. There were voices in my head now and I realized Embry and Quil were running too. Sam had said he wasn't going to schedule patrols, so they must have phased for fun. I didn't feel like returning to my human form, or returning home, so I tried quickly to keep my mind on an acceptable subject. An evil thought made me snicker, which sounded more like a bull snorting.

"_I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie wooooorld,_

_wrapped in plastic, _

_it's fantastic, _

_you can brush my hair,_

_undress me anywhereeee…"_

I heard a painful howl in the distance and barked my laughter, though I didn't stop singing.

_Jacob, you wicked dog. _That was Embry. He wasn't upset at all even though the song was horrible and I sung off key in my head (if that's even possible). _Turn that racket off! _The feeling of happiness was emanating from him left and right. It genuinely made me feel better.

_Hey Jake, we're going to the cliff to do some diving! Wanna come? _Quil asked. His enthusiasm was also contagious.

I had to admit to myself that I had missed my best friends. We all had been so caught up in the drama of 'this' world that the every day things teenagers enjoy doing often got left behind. Today was just another day to be ourselves, to enjoy something simple and uncomplicated. I felt some relief wash over my body. _I'll meet you there._

It didn't take long before I could see the clearing near the cliff. I stopped running and phased back to my human form. I quickly untied the leather band and put my shorts on. Embry and Quil had reached the cliff before me and I could see them waiting.

One would think these were my brothers if they didn't know us. _For all practical purposes, they are_. _And it is possible that Embry really is my brother…or Quil's._ My brows furrowed andI purposefully ignored that for now.

The only real difference between us now was the fact that my thick black hair hung past my chin, where theirs' was cut extremely short. I reached into my pocket for a hair band and tied it out of my face.

Quil was bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet like a little kid. Add that to his 6'5'' solidly muscled frame and I couldn't help but laugh. His smile took up his entire face, the white of his teeth shining radiantly against his dark skin. "Oh man, Jake, its sooo good to see you!"

Embry looked over at Quil and shook his head. He reached over and put a hand on Quil's shoulder and held him down. "You leave for three days and look what you've done to this boy. Its sick and twisted I tell you. Is there something going on between the two of you that I don't know about?" he said suggestively, raising one eyebrow. Of course his smile was just as wide.

I rolled my eyes, smiling in spite of myself. "As if you wouldn't know, smartass. I'm pretty sure I'm into the female species thank you." I paused. "Well, then again, Quil _might_ qualify for that." After that comment I had to quickly dodge a fist that Quil threw. If felt so natural, so good to be like this. _I really missed this,_ I realized with a jolt. "Be good Quil or I'll throw you off a cliff."

"Not if I do it myself," he said. With that he raced to the edge of the cliff and dove off screaming 'bonzaaaaaiiii'. _Crazy man,_ I thought as I shook my head. The fall wouldn't hurt us and the exhilaration was fantastic, but Quil never felt any hesitation to do stupid things, of which cliff diving would qualify for the rest of the population.

"How you doing, man?" Embry asked, putting his hands in his back pockets. I should have known it was coming.

I took a deep breath and tilted my head back as I exhaled. _I really wish people would stop asking me that already._ "I'll be fine. I just….need some time. This isn't something you get over overnight and I wish everybody would just respect that." I didn't mean to be so forceful with Embry, but I knew the message would get passed on to the others. It was better than having to say it another half dozen times.

Embry held his hands out in front of him in a motion of surrender. "Hey, I get it. I'm glad you're back and it's good to see you laugh. I am here if you need me and that is all I have to say." He turned around to face the edge of the cliff. "Are you coming?" he asked innocently. He leapt off, doing somersault after somersault in the air, landing perfectly in the water.

I crept to the edge, letting my toes dangle off. I stood there, arms out, eyes closed, letting the wind blow in my face. I didn't worry about my balance; being a werewolf made my senses amazingly perceptive. I wondered if this is what it would feel like to stand at the edge of the world. I smiled as a thought crept up. _Maybe I should scream out 'I'm the king of the world' for shits and giggles. _I let myself slowly fall forward, off the edge of the earth.

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_AN: I was trying to think of the most annoying song in the world and besides anything written by Britney Spears (who I absolutely REFUSE to use in any way, shape or form) and 'Barbie Girl' by Aqua popped right into my head. Of course the song is their sole property and they can keep it that way. haha_

_PLEASE review now and let me know what you think. I have more chapters waiting to be posted but I'd like to have more input. Thanks everyone!_

**_Update: I've decided that I'm going to hold off on posting my next chapter until I get a little more feedback with some reviews. I've had well over 100 hits now in less than 10 hours and only three reviews. That disappoints me. I can't tell if it means people like it or if they thought it was garbage. I've only got 10 reviews total on seven chapters so...I'm going to wait until I get at least 10 more. Sorry, I used to hate it when authors would hold stories 'hostage' but now I understand why. Looking forward to hearing from you all!_**


	8. Where Do We Go From Here?

_I remember how I felt at 17, sitting with my friends and contemplating where our lives were going to take us. Trying to figure out a career or even where my relationships would take me was very stressful. It definitely brought me down a time or two because of how unsure I was. Imagine adding to that the pressure of being a werewolf. I would think that would be very frustrating. As if our poor Jacob doesn't have enough going on in life. _

**_Disclaimer: All characters belong to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer and her Twilight series. Stephenie, I hope I've done Jacob justice._**

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**We spent most of the day jumping off the cliff, just to climb the banks and do it again; or racing each other in the ocean. I won most of those of course. The competition felt good, and we only took a break to run and grab lunch. We made a pretty good dent in the supplies Billy had bought for the barbeque, so I knew I'd have to make amends and go to the store again before the weekend. 

I swam my way over to the beach for the last time and flopped myself down on the sand. The sky was still a gorgeous blue and the sun's rays were warm and inviting. I stretched out and put my hands behind my head. My face hurt from smiling all day and I felt content. Eventually Embry and Quil joined me in the sand. We lay there, reminiscing about growing up and the awkward turns our lives have taken.

"It is going to suck to have to go back to school," Quil said.

"We've still got two months," Embry groaned. "Don't remind me. I mean, we save the entire town from an army of two-legged leeches and we still have to worry about calculus? Gym is going to be fun though; think of the damage we can do." He snickered and Quil and I joined in.

_Too bad Mike Newton and I don't go to the same school; I'd love to humiliate that boy._ I imagined it with satisfaction. "I think Sam is going to have us keep a low profile guys. Imagine the curiosity if we kicked everyone's ass at everything. I mean, yeah, it would be a hell of a lot of fun, but probably not in our best interest."

Quil almost seemed to pout at that. "Quit being such a buzz kill, Jake. It's not like we don't already draw attention by our size alone when we're all in a group. I think people would expect us to give 'em a beat down. Why disappoint?"

"You expecting to become a professional athlete, Quil?" Embry joked.

"No," Quil said, sounding sad.

"Well then why does it matter?"

"I figured I might as well have some fun while I can. I don't know what I'm going to do after school. Its not like being a professional werewolf is going to bring in a paycheck, and we're going to have to think of something to pay the bills." Quil's expression was serious now. "I have no idea what I'm going to do. Do we go to college? Do we have to plan on coming back afterwards if we do, or are we free to go anywhere? I mean, I love being a wolf, but I also feel like I'm tied here...in more ways than one." The final part of the sentence was almost inaudible.

Embry nodded slowly. "Yeah, I've thought about that too. I want to go to college, but on the other hand I think about losing my cool one day in a class or at some stupid frat party…imagine if I hurt someone. I don't know if I'd be able to do that for awhile. But then again, I can't really see myself working a nine-to-five around here either. I imagine we'll have to be able to phase if something happens, so the job would have to be flexible."

I contemplated that for a moment and sadness overwhelmed me. "Soon we'll only have to worry about the occasional vampire. The Cullen's will be gone and then what? It's rare that a vampire passes through here in the first place, and the recent ones only came because the Cullen's were here." Obviously I wasn't sad about the Cullen's leaving, but I knew once they did Bella would go with and then she would be gone to me forever.

Embry broke me out of my daze by clearing his throat. "Mmmhmm. Quil what did you mean by being 'tied here in more ways than one'?" He was trying to change the subject, and I let him.

"Well, there is the wolf part of course. It's our heritage, our legacy, and our obligation to fulfill our purpose," Quil said. I'd never heard him be so articulate before so I was surprised. Then all of a sudden one corner of his mouth turned up in a half smile. "Then there is Claire and the whole imprinting thing. She is probably the one sure thing in my life right now."

Embry smacked him lightly behind the head. "Of course, you've got a few years before you can really make anything of that. So right now you're simply a pervert." He ducked the sand Quil flicked his way and took off down the beach before Quil could catch up.

I watched them go so I could have a second to myself. _I wish that I had some of that certainty in my life right now._ However, imprinting is something that could consume you, fill you. Right now I didn't want that consuming feeling because, even though part of me wanted something to take the pain of losing Bella away, part of me didn't. I knew some of that pain is natural and necessary because I love her. _If I imprinted would I still feel that love or would I feel guilt?_ I know that Sam still loves Leah in a way but its only a miniscule shadow to what he feels for Emily. The majority of what he feels for Leah is guilt and I never wanted to feel that. It wouldn't be the same for me because Leah had actually wanted to be with Sam, but I knew I would feel guilty for moving on with someone else when I was still in love with Bella. How could you be in love with two people without feeling guilty?

_What am I getting so worked up about this for anyway, its not like its 'going' to happen, its more like it 'could' happen._ _What would I do if it did,_ I wondered. I got up slowly and moved down the beach to where Quil and Embry were wrestling. _I'm not going to imagine the what-if's…that's how I got here in the first place. _The entire mood of the day had been shot to hell.

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**_AN: I know I said I was going to wait for 10 more reviews but it looks like I'm not going to get them (how disappointing). So I figured I would just post anyway because waiting was frustrating me. Thanks to those of you who reviewed and those who added me to their story alerts! Please review now if you can!!!!!_**


	9. Hiding Out

_The song mentioned in this chapter is Vermillion- Part 2 by Slipknot. The first time I heard it I IMMEDIATELY thought of Jacob. I knew I had to use it at some point and this seemed as good a time as any. Thanks to my beta, Kate Pedroso, you're awesome._

**_Disclaimer: All characters belong to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer and her Twilight series. Stephenie, I hope I did Jacob justice._**

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After my conversation with Embry and Quil on the beach I felt myself starting to slip back into my depression; if you wanted to call it that. I honestly didn't know how to label it. I just wanted to be alone and left to sulk for awhile. I returned home and holed up in my room all that night and well into the following day, just contemplating the twists and turns of my life.

Quil had brought up a valid point, and now I had more to think about than Bella. Though I refused to think about the subject of imprinting, I didn't know what I was going to do with my life anymore. I had been so focused lately on our 'duty' of protecting the reservation that I hadn't thought about the path my life would take as an individual. I could feel despair surround me.

I know teenagers often go through these kind of phases where they don't know what they want to do, but you add in the complication of being a werewolf and it just made everything that much harder. Embry was right in a way; it wasn't going to be easy to control ourselves. I have more control than the others at times, but sometimes it still takes every ounce of self control I have to stay focused. I didn't know how the others were going to handle it.

Sam wouldn't be worrying about any of this. He was a handyman and carpenter. He had never attended any type of technical college or university and was doing fine. It was still a job with some flexibility. The only background I had was in mechanics, but I didn't know if I wanted to make a career of it. I couldn't see myself working for someone else in a big garage, but I couldn't see working right out of our little makeshift garage either. Part of me enjoyed it so much that I wanted to keep it a hobby. _The second something becomes work it loses some of the fun. _

_I still have some time to think about it, _I reminded myself. _It isn't like there is a deadline._ I figured I'd eventually have to discuss this one with someone; not that Billy would be a whole lot of help. If Bella and I were still….well, if she was around, she'd be the perfect person to talk to. At one time she had been worrying about this same thing herself.

This last February Bella had stopped over one day to ride motorcycles and we'd ended up having a small picnic lunch on the beach. She was finishing her senior year and Charlie had been bugging her about picking a college. She admitted that she still didn't know what she wanted to do. College was a thought but not something she really concentrated on because she was still trying to put herself together into something recognizable. Her grades had been slipping and it was so late in the year she didn't think she'd be able to get in anywhere. Most application deadlines had passed, although that didn't bother her much.

"Who would want me working for them? I'm trouble, remember," Bella had said. "I can't walk across a flat surface without tripping over my own two feet, and I can barely work anything electronic." I knew her clumsiness bothered her at times. I had once mentioned wrapping her in bubble wrap to keep her from getting hurt, but then she had worried about accidentally smothering herself.

"What about being a teacher?" It had seemed like a safe enough job. "You could work with kids, that way you'd only have to work with safety scissors, glue, and construction paper. The worst thing that could possibly happen would be what? You get a paper cut maybe?" I had meant this to be a joke, but the look that crossed her face at the thought of a paper cut told me I had said something wrong. Tears spilled over her cheeks in massive amounts. I had reached out to her and held her close as she sobbed. I had run my fingers through her hair, kissed the top of her head, and rocked her until she could speak again.

She tried to joke with me to lighten the mood again. "When have you ever seen me with a kid, or even heard me talk about one? I'm like a time bomb, Jake. It wouldn't be safe to be around kids."

We had spent the rest of the afternoon bouncing vague ideas off each other, but she never really showed any enthusiasm. Now she would never have to work. The Cullen's had so much money that they didn't know what to do with it all. Plus, if Bella was…turned, she wouldn't be able to be around people much, for awhile anyway. _Arrrgh!_ _Back to this again._ _I have to ignore that thought right now._. My mind seemed to be working in circles and I could feel a massive headache coming on.

When I was stressed in the past I used to just isolate myself in my room, put on my headphones, and turn on some hard rock or metal. I'd sing along or concentrate on the lyrics and the beat so much that I would be adequately distracted. But that was before and now it was harder. I hadn't listened to my favorite CD in months, so I dug it out of my case and laid down on the bed. The energy in the songs was making me relax a bit when I got to one song I wish I hadn't; but I couldn't bring myself to skip it either.

"_She seemed dressed in all of me  
Stretched across my shame  
All the torment and the pain  
Leaked through and covered me  
I'd do anything to have her to myself  
Just to have her for myself _"

The music was fluid and brought such amazing emotions forward in me. The love I felt for Bella swelled and felt like a live creature inside me. It was like a soundtrack for these last few months with her.

"_She is everything to me  
The unrequited dream  
A song that no one sings  
The unattainable  
She's a myth that I have to believe in  
All I need to make it real is one more reason_

_I don't know what to do  
I don't know what to do  
When she makes me sad"_

I could picture her the last day she was here, laying in bed next to me. She had professed her love for me and that she wanted a life with me, the same one I had often dreamed of. _Marriage, children, and growing old together_. _She wanted it and she wanted me, but she walked away from it all. _The unavoidable feeling of rejection returned. My closed eyes leaked tears out the side as my brow furrowed.

"_I catch in my throat  
Choke  
Torn into pieces  
I won't - no  
I don't want to be this"_

"_But I won't let this build up inside of me_

_But I won't let this build up inside of me_

_But I won't let this build up inside of me"_

I repeated that final verse in my head over and over and over again. _It's going to have to become my mantra at some point. _I doubted she was going to come back, even to visit, and that saddened me immensely. I had lost a love but I had also lost one of the best friends I had ever hadI was just going to have to move on and end my mourning, because it wasn't helping anyone, let alone me. I was calm, resigned to the fact that she wasn't coming back. No desire or hope that I might have was going to change that.

When the song had finished I sat up in bed and laid the CD player aside. I repeated the promise to myself that the song had ingrained in me. _I won't let this build up inside of me._ With that I left my room to find my brothers.

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_I'm sorry you guys see this as just another short, depressing chapter but its a break up, those depressed times are bound to happen. BUT I promise that this is the last where Jacob will wallow alone in self pity. Things will start to look up for him from here and the chapters get much longer. Please keep reading and reviewing. I'm not hearing much from anyone in reviews but the story will go on anyway. Stay tuned!_


	10. Plans

_More fun with the Quileute characters. I won't say too much more, I'm more interested in what YOU have to say. Thanks to my beta, Kate Pedroso. _

**_Disclaimer: All characters belong to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer and the Twilight series. Stephenie, I hope I did Jacob justice._**

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After I had my so called epiphany in my bedroom I had gone to visit Sam. I met him outside of his house, where he was painting an intricate bench he had made for Emily.

"Hey man, its good to see you," he said, a big smile covering his face. He was covered in little drops of light yellow paint. "Should have come over sooner, I would have put you to work."

"Well if you've got something else you need done, I don't mind the distraction."

"I don't, but you could ask Emily if she needs any help with _her_ to-do list." He said this with a smirk and I was instantly confused. I could tell he didn't mean little household chores. "Come on inside."

He and Emily had planned to marry at the end of August and were still putting together the finishing touches. She was sitting at the table, sorting through the vast mountain that covered its surface. Papers, torn magazine pages, and artificial flowers were everywhere. Emily looked a bit frazzled; her hair was pulled back, but there were pieces falling into her face. Her normally spotless little kitchen was a mess. She hadn't even noticed I'd entered until Sam cleared his throat.

She looked up in surprise. "Jake! Oh it is so good to see you!" She came over and gave me as big a hug as her little body would allow. "Are you hungry? Can I make you something? I just made some cookies this morning. I could whip up something else." She continued on, speaking a mile a minute.

How could you not smile at that? "I'll definitely take some of your cookies, Emily."

"Do you want some milk, some lemonade, water?" she asked as she flit about the kitchen. This wasn't the Emily I was used to. I mean, she has always been a 'busy' person, but this was like the Emily on speed. I frowned and looked at Sam for an answer. He just sighed.

He went over to her, grabbed her hands and wrapped them around him. He pulled her in close and trapped her head against his chest making 'shushing' noises. "Take a deep breath," he told her. She instantly calmed. "Everything will be fine."

"Is there something I can do?" I asked, still confused as to what was going on.

"No, she's just a bit overwhelmed with all the wedding plans."

Emily looked up at him, then over at me. She smiled sheepishly, only one side really turning up. The scar on the right side prevented it from being a full smile. "I'm sorry Jake; it's just been so hectic around here." Sam released her and she went to sit back at the table. He stood behind her, massaging her shoulders. I would have felt uncomfortable under normal circumstances, but I knew this had nothing to do with romance and everything to do with soothing her. "I've been so stressed with the vampire skirmish and then you getting hurt and leaving. You'd think wedding plans would be easy after everything that has happened, but this..." She swept her arms out in front of her indicating all the wedding items. "This is just crazy."

I felt guilty; I had no idea she had taken all of this so hard. I should have known better. These men and Emily were family. "I'm sorry, Emily."

She looked up; it was her turn to be confused. "For what?"

"For making you worry."

"Oh Jake, I'm so sorry for even bringing that up. Please, ignore me. I think I'm going insane." She crossed her arms on the table and laid her head down on them. She groaned.

I laughed. I couldn't help myself. It seemed so strange that all this worry was over wedding plans. "All the things to make you think you're going insane, and you pick the sanest thing of all, your wedding. Emily, you're surrounded by werewolves every day!" Sam joined in the laughter and, although I couldn't see her face, I could see her shoulders start to shake.

My expression turned innocent. "Could I still have those cookies?" With that she looked up and 'our' Emily was back, a big smile lighting her face up.

She got up and came over to my chair to hug me again. "We really missed you. Don't ever do that again," she said as she lightly smacked me over the head.

"Yes, ma'am," I said with a little salute. "Seriously, is there anything I can help you guys with? I've got the rest of the summer ahead of me with nothing planned."

Emily poured some milk and brought about a dozen warm cookies over before sitting down again. Sam pulled up a chair next to her. "We've decided to keep things fairly small; just you and your dad, your brothers, our families, and a few friends. There is no need to make it a big production. Though even for a small wedding, there is a lot involved. I don't know if there is anything specific that you can help with right now. Sam, do you have anything you need would like him to do?" Once again she smiled.

"Jake, there was something I was going to ask for your help on."

"Anything, just name it."

"I was wondering…," Sam started, and then paused. He looked to Emily and smiled before looking back at me. "I was wondering if you'd be my best man."

I sat there, stunned, a piece of half chewed cookie sitting in my cheek. I didn't know how to reply. Once upon a time I had loathed Sam; thought of him as a trouble-maker before I even knew him. He had turned out to be one of the most respectable men I had ever met. I finished chewing and swallowed to keep from choking. "Oh wow…are you sure?" I was sure that was a stupid response, but I didn't know what else to say. He had taken me completely by surprise.

Sam shook with laughter while Emily just chuckled. "Of course I'm sure. Jake, I couldn't imagine anyone else up there beside me, supporting us. I'd be proud and honored if you would."

"No, Sam, _I_ would be honored." And I was.

"Yay!" Emily sat there clapping her hands in excitement. "You know this means you'll have to rent a suit, right?" I groaned. I hadn't thought about that part. "Hey, no backing out now. You've already accepted."

I looked at Sam. "Do they even make suits in our size?"

He shrugged his shoulders and frowned. "I don't know. Do they?" he asked Emily.

Now it was her turn to shake with laughter. "Yes they do, and you'll both look wonderful. I've already scheduled your fitting." She looked over at me. "I knew you'd say yes."

After that they told me all about the other plans they had made. They were going to have the ceremony on the cliff top around sunset and then a small dinner outside at the house. They were planning on taking a belated honeymoon, deciding to wait until after the Cullen's left town. "Just as a precaution," Sam said. I nodded my understanding, wanting to avoid talk of the Cullen's or Bella as much as possible. I'd been having too good a day to be dragged back down.

I tried to lighten the mood back up again. "Can I bring a date?" I joked.

Emily looked at me, surprised. "Is there someone you want to bring? Please, by all means, you're welcome to bring a date. In fact, if you don't already have one I know this woman who would be perfect for you. She is a little bit older, but…" _Oh no, I was just kidding. _Sam put a hand on Emily's shoulder and she stopped, looking at him with a confused expression. Then she looked back at me and blushed a scarlet red. "I'm sorry, Jake. Sometimes I get carried away."

I smiled at her reassuringly. "Don't worry about it, Emily." There was an awkward silence now and I really didn't know what to say. I just sat there munching on cookies until Emily spoke again.

"Jake, there was something else I wanted to ask you. I was wondering if you would mind…" She looked at Sam, unsure of what she was about to say. So she rushed through them quickly, stumbling over her words here and there. "I was wondering if you'd mind if we invited Bella. I'm sorry, I know this is hard…and stupid and….but I really got to know her when she was here. But if it would be too hard for you I would understand."

I sat there for a moment, thinking about what she was saying. Could I stand up with Sam, listening to vows exchanged in love and commitment and ignore her presence_? I guess I'll have to. I've put Emily through enough, if this is what she wants for her wedding then I'm not going to ruin it._ I shrugged, "she is your guest to invite, Emily. If you want her there then you should invite her." I said this as calmly as I could and then went back to silently eating the cookies. Another awkward silence surrounded us.

Sam broke it by standing and changed the subject. "If you don't have anything else to do today, Jake, I could use your help changing the oil in Emily's car. I really need to finish that bench. Are you up to it?"

"Of course." I could use the distraction and it had been more than three weeks since I had gotten my hands dirty. I shoved another cookie in my mouth and gave Emily a mumbled thanks as I chewed. I walked out the kitchen door, leaving it ajar for Sam, who was right behind me. He stopped just inside the door as I made my way to the garage.

I couldn't avoid hearing Emily and Sam talking in low voices. "I can't keep my foot out of my mouth today," Emily said in a sad voice. "I really wish things hadn't turned out like this. He was so happy with…" She trailed off and sighed. "I'm just glad he is back."

_I am too_, I admitted to myself. This was my home, my family. _This is where I belong_. I smiled to myself and got to work.

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**_Please review!_**


	11. Summer Fun

_A little bit of Cullen action for you people who think this story is lacking. If you read this you'll know more is coming in the near future. Thanks to my beta, Kate Pedroso. Please read and review! I've got quite a few people on the story alert and I'd like to hear from you guys!_

**_Disclaimer: All the wonderful characters belong to Stephenie Meyer and her Twilight series. Stephenie, I hope I did Jacob justice._**

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Before I knew it Saturday had come and I was actually looking forward to the barbeque. Quil and Embry came over about mid-morning to help me set up. They had brought over extra camp chairs and two picnic tables from the Clearwater's and the Ateara's. We brought the kitchen table and an extra folding table outside. Sam was going to bring by his grill later on. There was no way we could feed a whole pack of wolves at once without more than one grill. _The whole pack but Collin and Brady,_ I reminded myself. They couldn't make it today.

Before I knew it, it was time to make one last trip to the store. I'd promised Billy that I would do it the day before but I didn't want to go alone. A run-in similar to the one last time I was in Forks wasn't something I was looking forward to. Quil and Embry understood. We took Embry's truck because it had just enough room for all three of us to fit in the extended cab.

Quil spent the entire drive telling lame jokes he had recently heard and Embry spent the entire time mocking him for them. I just sat back and laughed at both of them. I was too nervous to add much to the conversation. _I'm probably worrying for nothing. _

It turns out I was. We walked around the store picking out huge bags of chips, cases of soda, and mountains of brats, hot dogs, hamburger meat, and buns. To someone else it might have appeared that we were going to be feeding an entire army of people. I smiled to myself. _That's not too far off; it's just a different kind of army._ We didn't bother getting anything for dessert, knowing that anything Emily, Kim, and Sue would bring couldn't be matched by store bought items. I paid and we loaded up the truck.

Leaving the store I had an awful feeling of disappointment. I had known part of me would have loved to run into Bella simply to see her again. _It's probably best this way, _I reminded myself. _No reason to torture yourself. You'd just end up ruining everyone else's day by pouting in your room afterwards. _The voice in my head could get so annoying some days, mostly because it was right.

By the time we returned around noon, Billy was outside with Sam, Emily, Sue, Leah, and Seth. Sam had started both the grills and Seth was standing by, ready to help if asked. _So eager to please,_ I chuckled to myself while shaking my head. He saw our fate less as a burden and more as a very exclusive club to which he now belonged. For some reason, just being around Seth and the younger wolves made me feel old.

Emily and Sue were setting out bowl upon bowl of different side dishes. Leah was unsuccessfully trying to start a fire in the pit. You could practically feel her impatience from across the yard. "Why do we need a fire during the day anyway? We're using grills damnit," she muttered.

Paul, Jared, and Kim showed up next. Kim was carrying a couple pies that smelled absolutely mouthwatering. "Hands off mister," she said as I came to greet them. My eyes had been on the dessert and she had noticed. "These are for after dinner." She took them into the house and then joined Emily and Sue in putting out the rest of the food we had brought home from the store.

I tossed ice, water, and soda into four coolers set next to the house while Quil and Embry assisted Sam with the grills. Jared went to help Leah with the fire that was still nonexistent while Paul put out some lawn games. Everyone tried to keep him as far away from the food as possible; we knew he wouldn't be able to help himself from 'testing' everything in sight.

I went into the kitchen and got to work making the hamburger into patties, pulling out spices as I needed them. We had a ton of meat and I knew it was going to take me a while. "Can someone come in here and help me with the burgers?" I yelled out the open window.

"You rang?" Not who I was expecting…or hoping for. Leah went over to the sink and washed her hands.

"Did you get the fire started?" I was not trying to irritate her but Leah is Leah; she takes everything wrong.

"No. Jared is on it," she growled. "Do you want help or not?"

"Yes. There's another couple pounds over there," I said, pointing to the counter near the fridge. She found a bowl in the cupboard and tossed some meat in along with different spices and then kneaded the meat. It started to become an awkward, uncomfortable silence. "So…how are you?"

She didn't look up from the bowl. "I'm fine. Bored."

"Bored?"

She looked at me like I was an idiot. "Yes, bored. As in, nothing to do. I can't go back to my old summer job at the daycare. It's just too dangerous these days. I'm afraid a group of kids will start fighting, and I'll lose my patience, and accidentally phase." She sighed and went back to making hamburger patties. "So now, I don't know what to do. I have to find something soon. I need to help with some bills around the house." Ever since Harry's death I knew things had been tight for them.

_Geez, are all of us going through this right now?_ Quil, Embry, and I weren't the only ones worrying about the future. "I hear you."

"How are you doing?" she asked. I couldn't tell if she was just asking to make conversation or if she really cared.

"Better." It wasn't a lie. "Life goes on, right?"

"Sometimes…or so they say." She was looking out the window now. Sam was giving Emily a peck on the cheek and she smiled up at him radiantly. Leah sighed and looked back at what she was doing. "I heard you're going to be the best man."

"That's the plan, I guess."

"Mmhmm." I didn't know what kind of response that was but she didn't say anything else. She finished her pile of burgers in silence, washed her hands, and took the plate out to be put on the grill. It was the first civil conversation we'd had since before the battle with the vampires. It was a start.

I brought my pile of burgers outside and then settled myself in one of the chairs. Sue, Leah, and Emily were sitting together nearby as were Billy and Quil's dad. Paul, Seth, Jared and Kim were playing horseshoes while Sam manned the grill.

Laughter floated over the breeze with only the occasional complaint from Paul that Jared was cheating. I closed my eyes with a smile, enjoying the sunlight. _The barbeque gods have blessed us with a very fine day_. I could feel the warmth putting me into a trance.

Just then I heard a familiar rumbling moving closer to our home. I could see the hood of Bella's truck parked on the street just around the front of the house. _What the hell…?_ I sat forward and looked at Billy. "Did you invite-"

"No," he cut me off. Just then Charlie walked into view…alone.

"Hey Billy," Charlie said with a smile. "Hi Jake." He was still smiling as he looked at me but I could see the sadness in his eyes.

"What's that you brought?" Sue asked as she gave Charlie a peck on the cheek and took the pan from him.

"Bella made brownies." Bella's brownies were one of my favorite desserts. Charlie came over to me and shook my hand. "It's good to see you, Jake. Bella said to tell you hi and that she's sorry she couldn't come." All I could do was nod. Charlie excused himself to go get a drink and sit down next to Billy. They started recapping the most recent baseball games and scores. I couldn't just sit there anymore.

"Do you need any help, Sam?"

He looked at me and pointed to another spatula. "You can turn those burgers. The brats and hotdogs are almost done," he yelled to the others.

Everyone made their way to the picnic tables holding the food and started piling it on their plates. Charlie looked at all the food and then at the people standing around. "How many more people are you expecting, Billy?"

Billy chuckled. "This is it, Charlie. You've never seen a group of growing Quileute boys eat, have you?"

Charlie looked back at the food and then at all of us, shaking his head. "You're kidding right?"

"You'll see," Billy promised.

Sam and I finished everything on the grill and then got our own food. It was quiet for awhile as everyone ate. Eventually stories began to fly about how things were going on the reservation and rumors about the stupid things tourists were doing in the area.

"I'm really glad those attacks have stopped," Charlie said with obvious relief. "I didn't really know how to handle the situation. I thought I was going to have to bring extra help. It would have obliterated the tourist season around here if it had continued."

"You're welcome," Paul said under his breath as he took another bite of his burger. Jared launched a carrot at his head and Sam shot Paul a look of warning.

"What was that?" Charlie asked, frowning.

"Nuffin'," Paul replied with a full mouth. He shoved the last bite of hot dog in next as Jared challenged him to a rematch of horseshoes. Paul accepted and Kim and Seth got up to join them.

_This is what happens when you have one person on the outs who doesn't know what's going on; people slip or say something stupid. _Not that I didn't like seeing Charlie. It had been awhile and he was someone I truly cared about. It just made things more difficult to be ourselves, to be able to talk freely.

"It's good to see Jake back. He looks completely healed already. Thank heavens for Carlisle Cullen, eh?" Charlie was speaking in low tones now. In any other situation only Billy would be able to hear, but it wasn't a 'normal' situation. Billy simply grunted in agreement. "So…have you guys decided whether or not you'll be coming to the wedding?"

I pretended to concentrate on my food and listened to Billy's response. "I'll probably be able to come. But Jake…," he hesitated, shaking his head. "I don't think so, Charlie. He has had a rough time these past few weeks."

"I knew she should have waited until he was feeling better," Charlie mumbled unhappily. I knew he would rather she never made the decision to be with Edward in the first place. He had always favored me and I had used it to my advantage as much as possible in the past. _It wouldn't matter now. _I closed my eyes and leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees.

"Charlie, I don't think it would have mattered when she did it. It was going to hurt either way."

"How bad is it?" Charlie was concerned and I knew he was probably remembering how Bella reacted last fall.

Billy replied in the quietest voice he could and I had to strain to hear the rest of the conversation. "When he first came back he tried as hard as he could to avoid talking about her. He is more quiet now, more reserved…but he is fighting to get back to himself. I can see it. But the wedding? I think it would break him, Charlie. He knows it's coming and that is bad enough; but to actually be there would break him I think."

I couldn't listen anymore; I got up. Charlie, Billy, and Sam all looked at me. "I'm going to get some dessert."

I made my way to the house but went to the living room instead of the kitchen. I looked at our new second-hand couch and groaned. It was the ugliest piece of seventies material you could find with garish orange and brown flowers. It was enough to make a person nauseous. I quickly found an old navy blue sheet to throw on top of it before sitting down. I sprawled my legs out in front of me and let my head drop back with my eyes closed. Laughs and light-hearted arguing floated in from the game of horseshoes, and I started to relax again.

As much as I cared for Charlie, I really wished he hadn't come today. _Life was just starting to feel normal again_. I sighed. _I'm not going to let this break me down again. I'm fine._

Just then a deep scream of pain woke me out of my state. I jumped to my feet and ran outside as quickly as I could. Everyone was standing in a semi circle around Billy. He was laying on the ground beside his wheelchair, blood pouring out a long cut in his left leg. Sam grabbed a handful of napkins from the picnic table and put pressure to the cut. Charlie helped him into a sitting position.

I rushed over and knelt beside him. "What happened?!" I bellowed in anger.

"Relax, Jake. Sue accidentally knocked a knife off the picnic table and I tried to get up to get it and tripped. I fell on the knife. It's fine, really."

"You could give Bella a run for her money with that move, Billy," Charlie joked, though concern filled his face.

"Lets see how bad it is before we get all worked up," Sam suggested. He made a move to wipe away the extra blood and pulled the napkins back. Blood continued to ooze in moderate amounts. It was a deep cut. I went inside to get a clean towel and some gauze from the first aid kit. I returned to Billy and made a makeshift bandage around his leg.

"I'm taking you to the ER. This is going to need stitches at least," I growled. I wasn't happy about going but it wasn't something I was going to pass on to one of my brothers either.

"I'll drive you," Embry offered. Emily went inside to get another towel to put down on the back seat of the truck cab. I lifted Billy inside as if he weighed nothing. Though I was sure it was a move that would surprise Charlie, I wasn't worried about exposure right now. I threw his wheelchair in the back and then climbed in beside him, putting his leg on my lap and holding pressure to the bandage. Quil jumped in front with Embry and we drove off. Sue followed us in her car with Charlie in the passenger seat. I knew Sam, Emily, and the rest would stay behind.

I concentrated on watching the road ahead as we drove into town. I had hopes that it would be Dr. Cullen's day off, but I wasn't going to hold my breath. _This is NOT what I need right now, _I thought as I exhaled harshly.

"I'll be fine, Jake," Billy said, thinking he had to reassure me.

"I know, dad." We pulled into the ER entrance and people in hospital scrubs came out to meet us. I helped Billy out of the truck and onto a cart before looking up at them. When I finally looked ahead to the ER I started. I was looking right into a pair of golden eyes. _Damnit._

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_Ohhhh, is that my first actual cliffhanger? haha I've got the next chapter ready to post. Let me know what you guys think. (hint, hint)._


	12. Emergency Room

_Thanks to my beta, Kate Pedroso. She works very hard for me while still writing her own story. And many thanks to the few of you who review, you don't know how much it means to me to hear how my story effects those who read it. I hope you continue._

**_Disclaimer: All characters belong to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer and her Twilight series. Stephenie, I hope I did Jacob justice._**

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"Damnit," I voiced out loud. Quil and Embry looked at me, then ahead to the entrance. They stiffened automatically but followed us into the hospital. Carlisle Cullen was standing just inside the doorway with a small, welcoming smile on his face. He was standing still and tall. He looked as if he should be playing a doctor on TV rather than being one in real life. 

Billy looked up at me with a confused expression. "What's wrong?" I nodded forward towards the door and Billy saw Dr. Cullen waiting for us inside. "I'm fine; we should just go home," he said grimly.

"Oh, Dad, relax," I said, rolling my eyes in exasperation. "He's not going to bite you." I said this with a smirk, the sarcasm dripping from my words. I didn't even bother lowering my voice since I knew no one would get the double meaning.

"Hush yourself, Jake," he warned. I knew Billy was grateful for the time Carlisle took looking after me when I was hurt, but I was sure he wasn't comfortable being treated by the vampire himself.

Carlisle smiled and stepped forward to the gurney as we walked by. "Mr. Black, good to see you again. I just wish it were under better circumstances." He reached out to shake Billy's hand. Billy grudgingly shook it and pulled his hand back as soon as possible. "Sam called ahead to let us know you were coming in. Lets get you back and take a look at your leg."

A nurse wheeled the gurney back into an empty examination room, quickly took Billy's vital signs, and left. Carlisle stood next to the gurney and went to pull the makeshift bandage back. Billy stiffened automatically. The look on his face made it seem like he was contemplating making a run for it. Quil, Embry, and I all watched Carlisle carefully.

"Relax, gentlemen," Carlisle said softly with a chuckle. He looked at us all, trying to put us at ease. "I have been doing this for a very long time and I know how to control myself." He looked at me and I nodded once for him to continue. He pulled back the bandage and the blood continued to ooze, though at a much slower rate than before. The towel was now soaked red. Carlisle's perfectly smooth brow furrowed. "Hmmm, this looks pretty deep. I am definitely going to have to close this up. Please excuse me for a moment." He got up gracefully and left the room.

Quil let out the breath he had been holding. "This just seems…wrong. I feel like he's going to sink his teeth into Billy any second," he said with a shudder.

Embry just watched me carefully. I shook my head. "I don't like being here any more than you guys do, but he isn't going to do anything like that. As much as I hate the thought of putting this kind of trust in a vampire, Carlisle isn't like the stories; he's not like other vampires. He isn't going to hurt Billy like that." They looked at me as if I'd gone over to the dark side. "Look guys, it isn't like we have any other options at the moment. What do you want me to do? He needs stitches, we're here. Carlisle _is_ the best doctor here, even if we don't like it." I stood tall, daring them to contradict me.

They looked away. "Maybe we should step outside," Quil said. "We'll sit in the waiting room with Sue and Charlie." With that they left.

I sighed, feeling as if I'd just taken Carlisle's side over my best friends, even though I know it wasn't the case. I sat down on a nearby stool and leaned back, running my hands through my hair. I felt very tired all of a sudden.

Carlisle returned to the room alone with an armful of supplies. "How are you feeling these days, Jacob?" he asked while sorting and opening the items in front of him.

"As good as can be expected." I didn't intend to get into a full blown conversation with him if I didn't have to. The quicker we could get out of here, the better. "All healed."

"I am very glad." He looked at me with a sincere smile, and I had to look away. Part of me would always be grateful for what he did for me; but it didn't change what he was.

Carlisle filled a syringe with a clear liquid and then brought a rolling stool to sit next to Billy. "It's too bad you do not have the same healing properties, Mr. Black. This will feel like a bee sting, but it will numb you." He started injecting the fluid from the syringe into the area around the cut. I started to tune Carlisle out as he asked questions about Billy's medical history. His hands moved swiftly and smoothly and Billy gasped. It was a good thing there wasn't a nurse in the room, because he motions were starting to blur. "I'm sorry. I wanted to be able to talk for a minute when I'm done. It's why I did not ask a nurse to assist. Am I hurting you?" Billy shook his head. He gave us discharge instructions as he worked. "…and just remember to keep the stitches clean, Mr. Black, so that you avoid infection."

He bandaged the leg, disposed of his gloves and washed his hands. Then he sat back down on the stool to face both of us. His expression was serious now but also…weary in a way. "Though I wish you were not here under these particular circumstances, Mr. Black, there was something that we were going to contact you about soon. I realize that you are the chief elder and, therefore, the person I need to talk to."

I looked at him, and then Billy. I was confused. Why did he want to talk to Billy? Billy looked at him as if he knew what Carlisle was going to say. "You want to discuss the conditions of the treaty."

Carlisle nodded, and all of a sudden I understood. He wanted to discuss Bella being turned and how it would affect the treaty. Anger surged through my body like a jolt of electricity. I couldn't help it; I growled. Carlisle looked at me then, no fear in his golden eyes, but rather a look of compassion. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and pressed his hands together. "Jacob, I truly am sorry. I know it is a topic you would rather not discuss, let alone have it actually happen; but we must. I do not want this to be the end of our co existence. I don't want this to become a war."

"It's simple; don't break the rules," I said in a gruff voice. "You vowed that you would never turn another human. You made the rules, you follow them!" My body crouched over the stool. I was afraid I was going to lunge at Carlisle involuntarily so I stood up and started to pace. I felt my hands start to shake but I willed myself to calm down. This was the last place that I needed to lose control.

"Keep your voice down, Jake," Billy said calmly before speaking to Carlisle. "This is something that will have to be discussed with Quil and Sue as well as the pack. This is not something that can be decided by me alone." I was stunned into stillness. I slowly turned on my heel to look at him.

"You can't be serious, Dad! You are actually going to discuss changing the terms with them?!" My breath started coming faster and faster. My head started to pound and I could feel the fury slide down my spine. The red haze started to cover my vision and I could tell my shape was blurring. I turned around and rested my forehead against the wall. _Focus, focus, focus._ The cool sensation of the wall helped, as did the silence behind me. I waited to turn around until I was calm once more.

I turned around to see Carlisle standing next to Billy, almost blocking him from my view. I looked at him in shock. _He thinks HE needs to protect Billy from ME? This can't be happening. What alternate universe have I just stepped into?! _It ruined my concentration and I had to get out of there.

I opened the door with so much force that it nearly tore it from its hinges. In a few swift strides I was in the waiting room, headed towards the exit. I could see Quil and Embry waiting for me. Charlie and Sue looked up with startled expressions, but I wasn't about to give explanations. My wolf brothers put their heads together quickly and Embry followed me out. He didn't say a word but ran behind me as I made my way as fast as humanly possible to the forest that bordered the rear of the hospital.

Once we were far enough in for complete privacy I howled in rage and balled my hands into fists. I punched the tree nearest to me again and again and again until it cracked under my hands and fell to the ground. I then proceeded to pulverize it into sawdust to vent my anger and frustration. Every punch that I threw, I pictured his face…Edward's face. It was for everything he had done and everything he planned on doing.

When there was nothing left of the tree I looked up at the sky, feeling a sense of release and calm. I sat down and stared at the ground. Embry sat down beside me.

"What happened, man?"

I took a deep breath. "Cullen wants to meet to discuss renegotiating the treaty." Even with that short sentence I could feel the rage flicker inside.

"Really," Embry said, though he didn't sound surprised.

"Yeah, and you know what? Billy seemed like he was expecting it."

Embry thought about that for a second. "Well, it would make sense. This whole thing with Bella isn't a spur of the moment event, Jake. They're getting married; she _wants_ to become one of them. The leeches made an agreement never to turn anyone again so that creates a problem. But…is the agreement still in effect for someone who asks for it willingly?" It was a rhetorical question and he didn't expect an answer, but I gave him one anyway.

"Of course it is, damnit! They made an agreement to never turn _anyone ever again_," I said, emphasizing the last part of my statement. _Why isn't he as angry about this as I am?_ _He hates the bloodsuckers just as much as the rest of them._ Confusion was now added to my frustration with the subject. "It's easy; they want to do this, then they better accept the consequences and prepare for war."

"Would you really want to fight them, Jake? To kill them?"

I was astounded. "WHAT? Are you telling me you wouldn't want to fight them??"

"Oh no man, under other circumstances I'd love a good fight; but I'm wondering if, in the end, it would really be something YOU would want." He was getting at something, but I didn't know what.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me. I'd take Edward's head in a second if I could." I'd pictured it over and over…and over again. I'd planned more attacks than I could count, and I relished each and every time I ripped his head from his body in those thoughts.

He just looked at me, waiting; willing me to see where he was going with his logic. When I didn't respond he revealed his train of thought. "Even if it means hurting Bella… and leaving her alone as a vampire forever? She would have nowhere to turn, Jake. Sure, some of the leeches would probably survive, but if Edward died would it matter to her if _she_ survived or not? You know none of us would touch her, yourself included. Vampire or not she means too much to you. So what would you leave her with?"

My blood ran cold. I could picture Bella doing exactly what Edward had done when he heard Bella was dead. _No. _I could see her trying to find a way to die. _No!_ _She can't do that, she wouldn't do that! _Nausea washed over me at the thought. The unwanted visual of Bella being ripped apart was too much to handle. _NO!!_ "Oh god." With that I leaned over and let the nausea overtake me.

Embry waited patiently by until my retching stopped. "I see that you got my point." All I could do was nod as I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. "But seriously Jake; what did you think was going to happen after she is changed? Did you honestly think we were going to take down the coven?"

I sat there for a moment. _What _did_ I think was going to happen?_ "I think…I don't know." It was so hard to put into words all the thoughts that had flashed through my mind. "All I can think about lately is that last day she came to visit me. As much as I promised her that I would stay out of the way, I know part of me, no matter how small, still has hope Embry." I looked into his eyes, pleading with him to understand where I was coming from. "And the wedding would be the absolute end to that hope. There is nothing after that. It's like a brick wall my thoughts either can't or won't work past. I've tried to think about after…when she's…but I don't know how. We tried to talk about it once. But how can we be friends? And even if it is possible that vampires and werewolves can stand each other enough for that…can someone be just friends with someone they love so deeply?" I looked at Embry for answers I knew he wouldn't be able to give me.

"I don't know, Jake. Just remember that we are all here. We care about Bella too. It makes me sad that she is choosing this future over a full human life, but being that she is in the position she is…and don't tell anyone this or I'll kick your ass…I can understand that she is choosing to be a vampire."

My eyes bugged out of my head as I looked at him incredulously. _Is he serious? _"Have you gone fucking insane?"

Embry rolled his eyes and muttered, "I knew you wouldn't wait to hear me out."

"No, no please go on, because if you can help me understand this any better I'm all for it."

"First off, she _chose_ him, Jake. If it is going to work she'd have to change. It wouldn't make sense to stay human and still live the rest of your life with a coven of vampires. There would be too much suspicion and too much danger. You know Bella, danger magnet, right?" He shoved me in the shoulder. I worked up a weak smile for his sake, but it didn't reach my eyes. "Look at all that has happened to her in the last two years. I'm amazed she survived it all. Besides that, you haven't imprinted on her. So if she had decided to stay with you, your future with her would probably be less secure than even the most average human relationship. Any other relationship the man or woman might leave because they aren't in love anymore; but it would be a choice. And with you…you might have unwillingly imprinted one day and left her even though you still love her. Then what is she supposed to do? End up bitter like Leah?"

The thought of the feelings Leah lived with from day to day made me realize that Embry was right, even if I didn't like it.

"Arrrgh." I fell back and lay down in the grass, looking up at the late afternoon sky. "This is just one more thing that is going to go HIS way, you know? It's like all his pieces are falling right into place and mine are all falling apartWhy can't life be easy…and when the hell did you get so smart?"

I saw him smirk and look at me out of the corner of his eye as he shrugged. "I don't show this side. It would increase your expectations of me." I couldn't help it; I burst out laughing and Embry quickly joined in. He patted my leg. "We'd better get back to the hospital. I'm sure Charlie, Sue and Quil took Billy home by now. I told Quil to leave the truck behind for us."

"Good thinking." We got up and started to make our way back the way we came.

"I've got my moments. Now…let's get back to the food."

I grinned and shook my head. "Now there's the Embry we all know and love."

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**_A/N: I've had well over a thousand hits on my story and I have quite a few people on alert...and still only 36 reviews. That is quite depressing. I would appreciate it if you would leave a message after you're done reading. We all know it takes less time to review than to actually read it so please take the time. I've worked my way through an extreme case of writer's block to continue the next couple chapters. Let me know it was worth it!_**


	13. War and Compromise

_This was the part I had writer's block on. I knew what I wanted to have happen but getting there was the problem. Hope you like it. Thanks to my beta, Kate Pedroso. Please review!_

**_Disclaimer: All characters belong to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer and her Twilight series. Stephenie, I hope I did Jacob justice._**

* * *

When Embry and I returned it was early evening. We parked behind Bella's truck and walked around the house. Billy was sitting back in his chair next to Charlie, but his leg was now up on another chair, with Sue placing a pillow beneath it. Emily and Kim were sitting at one of the picnic tables, but Quil Sr. and the rest of the wolves were nowhere to be seen.

"Can I get you anything, Billy?" Sue asked.

"Don't go doting on the man or he'll expect it from me when the rest you leave." I tried to keep my tone light. Billy looked up, his face unreadable.

"Now where did you disappear to, Jake?" Charlie questioned. He looked concerned and for some reason that bothered me. He had been Billy's best friend for years, but right now I wished he would just go home. Being able to talk freely amongst ourselves about the coming meeting would be helpful.

"Just having a bad day, Charlie. I needed to go for a walk," I shrugged. Why bother with any other answer; he wouldn't understand. Charlie frowned. I'd been short with him all day. He was used to me having a more friendly demeanor, and I wasn't acting like 'myself' right now. "Where did everyone else disappear to?"

Emily answered. "Paul decided he would rather have pizza for dinner, so he and Jared went into town. Quil and Seth took Quil Sr. home, and Sam ran home to get our wedding invitation for Bella. I have no idea where Leah ran off to. They should all be back fairly soon."

"I think I'll get back to the dessert I didn't get to finish off before." I headed into the house. Embry followed me in and we eyed the desserts laid out on the counter.

"Mmmm, brownies!"

"Hands off, buddy, those brownies are mine!" I wasn't going to pass up Bella's brownies no matter what. They were like heaven in a pan, an instant mood elevator. Instead of grabbing a plate I just took the entire pan and a fork outside while Embry picked up an apple pie. We sat down across the fire from Charlie and Billy.

Charlie laughed. "Jeez, Jake. Save some for the rest of us."

I looked up and smiled, holding my hand up in defense of my food. "Hey, you can get these anytime at home. I've got to enjoy them while I can," I mumbled happily between bites.

"Don't go picking on me either; there are at least three apple pies in there," Embry said as he forked more pie into his mouth. "If you're bored or headed in to get some for yourself, I could use a glass of milk…or a gallon."

Charlie shook his head in disbelief. "Where do they put it all?" he asked Billy.

"Where does any teenage boy put that much food?"

"I put it right here," I said, patting my washboard stomach with pride. It was one absolutely wonderful thing about our transformation; it increased our metabolism; we could eat whatever we wanted to…and lots of it.

Charlie looked down at his own somewhat pudgy stomach. "Well, I don't think I should eat an entire pie, but one slice probably won't hurt. Billy, do you want anything?" he asked as he headed towards the house.

"I could use some of Sue's apple crisp if there's any in there. If not, just toss something on a plate."

Embry raised his hand with his finger up, chewing until he could swallow enough to speak without food falling out. "Don't forget the milk!"

Once Charlie was safely out of hearing range Billy spoke up. "We'll have a pack meeting tonight after Charlie leaves to discuss the treaty amongst ourselves. Carlisle was hoping to meet sometime soon. We'll have to bring Quil back for it and get Collin and Brady here if we can."

"Collin and Brady are out of town, camping with Brady's family," I reminded him. "Did he say anything after I left?"

"I'll let you know tonight. Call the meeting but don't say what it's about for now. The last thing we need is for Paul to lose control with Charlie here." Just then Charlie returned, gallon of milk in hand.

Embry reached for it greedily and started sucking it down in big gulps.

"You're welcome," Charlie said, laughing heartily.

When half the gallon was gone Embry finally spoke. "Ahhhhh, oh that hit the spot. Thanks Charlie." Everyone broke out in giggles; Embry had a huge milk mustache on his face. "What? What's so funny?"

I just shook my head. We gave Embry a hard time for awhile until Sam returned. Emily eagerly grabbed the invitation from him and handed it to Charlie with a huge smile on her face.

"I would really appreciate it if you could pass this invitation on to Bella. The time I spent with her this spring meant a lot to me, and it would be amazing if she could come."

Charlie smiled. "I would be happy to pass it on to her. I'm glad Bella made such great friends." Charlie rose from his chair and looked around at all of us. "Well, I guess I should be getting back. Thanks for inviting me over, Billy. I had a great time…even with the ER visit." He shook Billy's hand. "Take care of that leg."

"Will do. Thanks for coming, Charlie. I'll see you next weekend for the game." He waved as Charlie disappeared around the house. "Well it looks like we can start this meeting sooner rather than later. Jake, go call Quil and ask him to bring Quil Sr. back. Try calling the Clearwater place to see if you can reach Leah."

"Billy, do you mind if Kim and I stay for the meeting?" Emily asked.

"Of course not Emily; you two are part of this family. We don't keep secrets from each other."

I went inside and called Quil Sr.; Seth and Quil were still there, playing on the new Xbox 360 Quil had gotten for his birthday last month. "Quil, Billy has called a pack meeting. When can you guys be back?" I finished my conversation with Quil and then left a message at the Clearwater's for Leah before going back outside.

Paul and Jared had come back with boxes of pizza. "I figured that the leftovers from lunch wouldn't be enough for dinner, and I was feeling generous," Jared replied. "Of course Paul finished most of one in the car so…seven pizzas."

We all dug into the pizza and the leftovers from this afternoon. Soon enough, Quil and the others arrived and Leah sauntered back not long after them. After almost everyone had finished Billy decided it was time. "I called Quil Sr. back here tonight so that we could have a pack meeting. There is something we need to discuss with everyone." Sue settled herself on the right side of Billy, Quil on the left. The rest of us closed in around the fire as the night started to darken.

"What is this about?" Sam asked, his brow furrowing. I could understand his confusion. We didn't normally have pack meetings unless there was trouble or some kind of planning to do.

"Carlisle Cullen took care of me today." The mood became unsettling, people shifting around in their chairs. Paul emitted a low, deep growl. "He wants to call a meeting between the pack and the coven to discuss something we knew was coming."

"Bella's transformation I assume," Sam said. Billy nodded as Paul's growling slowly rose in volume. "Give it a rest, Paul," he ordered. Paul's growling ceased.

Billy continued. "They want to renegotiate the terms of the treaty. I honestly don't see any way around it." He looked around at everyone, waiting for someone to voice their opposition.

Paul was just waiting for the opportunity. "No way around it? Why don't we just follow the terms of the current treaty and take down the coven when they turn her!" he yelled. Anger was rolling off of him in waves. He reacted just how I did this afternoon, and I realized how rash I had been. Paul and I had never reacted alike before.

Billy tried to reason with him. "Paul, what do you think would happen if we went to war?" Everyone looked between Billy and Paul.

"We'd take them down," he said confidently.

"All of them? Do you really think the pack would be able to kill all of them?"

Paul faltered. He looked around for support but received none, so Billy continued on. "What do you think would happen to the pack if we were to go to war?"

Again Paul was silent, swallowing convulsively and shaking his head. "We outnumber them, we can take 'em." He was still trying to justify a fight, but his voice was weak.

Billy closed his eyes and sighed. He waited a moment before he went on. "You might be able to kill some of them, but not all of them. Even though you outnumber them I don't think it would be possible. In the meantime, there would be casualties on both sides. Not all of you would walk away, and I'm not willing to risk that for a decision Bella has voluntarily made."

"I agree," Sue said. "The coven gave their word not to turn another again. However, they where never given a choice on whether to be turned, and I feel that this coven would never turn someone against their will. Bella is making a conscious decision to become one of them. She knows the end result. She knows what she will become. I, too, don't want to risk any of your lives over that." She looked to Quil Sr. for his opinion, but he simply nodded his agreement.

"So we're just going to let them get away with this without any consequences?" Again, Paul's reaction was so similar to mine that I started to feel ashamed of myself. _I'm such an idiot. I can't believe I never thought this through before. _Then he turned to me. "Jake, how do you feel about that?" He must have thought that I would give him support in his argument, but I couldn't do it.

"They're right, Paul. As much as I hate it, there's nothing we can do but re-negotiate."

This seemed only to anger him further. His arms started to shake, his shoulders going rigid. "Sam?"

Sam continued looking at the fire, rubbing his temples. "I agree with them. We don't have a choice." Emily rubbed his back, trying to relax him.

Paul looked around the fire for any support. His growl returned when no one would return his gaze.

I frowned and looked back at Billy; I remembered my earlier question. "Was there something else he told you or asked you in the ER?"

Billy nodded but looked reluctant to answer. He looked at all of us, hesitating on Paul. "He wanted to let me know that they've invited other vampires to the wedding."

Everything was completely quiet for a moment while Billy's words sunk in. More growling erupted, and this time Paul wasn't the only one, though he was the loudest.

"What kind of vampires?" Jared choked out. We all knew what he was really asking.

"He said they share the same lifestyle as the Cullen's. They drink only from animals."

"Is this the coven from Alaska?" I asked.

Billy nodded. "They have not decided whether or not they will be attending, but he wanted to let me know ahead of time that they were invited."

"How thoughtful of him," Paul sneered. His shaking continued; it almost appeared as if he was having a seizure. The growling became louder.

"Paul, calm down," Sam ordered again.

I could see that Paul was trying, but he was unsuccessful. Even after all this time he couldn't focus enough to regain control when he was really upset. The shaking became strong vibrations, and soon his whole form was wavering. He turned and ran towards the forest. With a loud ripping noise he phased to his wolf form and was gone.

"Jared, go with him to make sure he doesn't do anything stupid. The last thing we need is for him to run into one of them," Sam said calmly. Jared nodded and headed for the trees, stripping as he ran along. After a moment Sam spoke again. "When are we meeting with them?"

"I told him I would discuss this with all of you before we decided on a date, but it will have to be sometime fairly soon," Billy said.

I nodded. "Might as well get this over with as soon as possible. What about next weekend? Anyone have plans?" Everyone shook their head.

"Next weekend then. We'll have to call them to let them know."

"Obviously they can't come here," Sam said. "And I do not want to go to their home. We will have to meet somewhere neutral and out of the way."

I thought about it for a second. "Why don't we meet them in the clearing where we attacked the newborns?"

"Seems fitting; it was the one and only time we've worked together," Embry said.

Sam nodded his agreement.

Billy looked around the circle. "We will have to come to some concrete terms before then. Anyone else have anything to add?"

Leah spoke up quietly, surprising everyone. "Why her?"

"What?" Billy looked up confused.

"Why are we making this concession for her, voluntary choice or not? Would we do this for anyone else in Forks, or is it just because it's Bella?" She looked up at me, then at Billy.

I looked at Billy and let him answer first. "I won't deny it. I don't think I would do this for anyone but Bella. She is Charlie's daughter and is important to Jake. She is making the choice to be turned. God knows I would rather she make any other decision, but I don't want her killed because of it. I know it would hurt too many people on both sides if we went to war."

I looked at Billy, grateful that he was more levelheaded than I was. I looked at Leah and shook my head, my voice strong and sure. "Not for anyone but her. I won't hurt her like that." I looked at Embry and gave a nod, thanking him for the talk we had earlier. He simply nodded back.

Leah looked at me for a moment. I didn't know where she was going with this. She confused me more than any of my other pack mates. She didn't say another word.

"Anything else?" Billy asked again. This time no one responded. "Okay, I'll call the Cullen's this evening and let them know." With that the meeting ended.

I stood up and stretched as Embry and Quil came over to me. "I think we're going to head out," Embry said.

"I've got to take Quil home," Quil said.

"Okay, I'll see you guy's tomorrow," I said. They would have to come back to help me return the extra chairs and tables. They nodded and followed Quil Sr. out of the yard. Leah headed toward the woods, still silent.

Everyone else started to clean up the rest of the mess outside as Billy called me over. "Jake, will you help me back into the house? I think I'm ready for bed," he said, sounding tired.

I wheeled him into the house and lifted him into bed. "No, wait; I told him I would call him tonight."

"Don't worry about it, Dad. I'll do it."

He looked up at me through saddened eyes. "Are you sure you can do it?"

"Yes, it'll be fine. I promise." _I can get through one phone call_, I reassured myself. "Are you hurting at all? Do you want something for the pain?" Billy just shook his head.

"G'night Dad."

"Goodnight Jake." He looked so completely drained. It had been a long day for him. I covered him up and then shut the door.

Once I got to the kitchen and laid my hand on the phone I hesitated. _I'll call when everyone has gone home, _I told myself. I took a garbage bag outside and helped clean alongside everyone else. When we were finished everyone said goodnight and then left. I put the fire out, gathered the chairs and tables together, brought in the bowls, and washed them before cleaning the countertops. When I was finished I realized there was only one thing left to do.

I reached for the phone again and pulled my hand away. I only knew one number for the Cullen's, and the thought of who might answer made my palms sweat. I wiped them down my jeans and took a deep breath. It took me three tries to dial the number correctly. My heart started to race as the other end rang.

"Hello?" It was exactly who I expected. _Edward. _Even as I thought his name my lip pulled back in an involuntary, yet silent, snarl. I don't think he recognized our number; he sounded curious as to who was calling. I took another deep breath.

"Is Carlisle there?" My voice sounded harsh but steady.

"Jacob Black." It was more of a statement than a question. He had to have known we were going to be calling.

"Yes. Is Carlisle there?" I repeated, trying to stay calm. The last thing I wanted to do was get into a conversation with _him_. I wasn't ready for that again; at least not tonight.

"Yes, please hold for a moment."

After half a minute Carlisle came on the line. "Jacob, it is good to hear from you."

"Well, you were expecting this call," I said sarcastically. _Take another deep breath, just get it over with. _

"Jacob, I apologize for this afternoon. I did not mean to upset you." He sounded sincere, and part of me relaxed.

I just went on with what I had to say. "We decided that we could meet with you next Saturday night, in the clearing where we fought the newborns. New terms will be discussed at that time."

"That sounds very reasonable." He sounded pleased.

"Anything else?" I asked.

"Not at the moment. Thank you for getting back to us so quickly about the matter."

"Ok then." There was an awkward pause. "Bye."

"Goodnight, Jacob."

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**_A/N: I didn't know how to write Quil, Sr at all so I took the easy way out and resorted to just keeping him silent. Come on people, please review. Hearing your comments makes my day!_**


	14. Unwanted Images

_Thanks to my beta, Kate Pedroso. _

**PLEASE SEE THE AUTHOR'S NOTE AT THE END OF THE STORY.**

**_Disclaimer: All characters belong to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer and her Twilight series. Stephenie, I hope I did Jacob justice._**

* * *

Over the following week we were all anxious and edgy. Paul continued to be irritated by the thought of the upcoming meeting, and now if anyone even mentioned it he ripped himself apart and ran. He seemed to have lost his ability to focus, to control himself. Someone always had to follow because none of us wanted a run in between Paul and a Cullen before our negotiations. I was the last person who wanted to follow him, but in one particular instance I had no choice. 

Paul and I had been over at Sam's, helping him start a project that would be a gift to Emily. Sam wanted to carve out a beautiful archway for him and Emily to stand under while saying their vows. It would later be put in Emily's garden, a symbol of that day of love. It was coming along, but slowly; we would have to put in some serious work to have it done in time for the wedding.

Emily was forbidden to come into Sam's workshop, so she politely knocked on the door and asked if we wanted to come out for lunch. Of course we never pass up food, so that answer was a no brainer. Emily had made a mountain of sandwiches and put together some fruit and veggies for us on one of the picnic tables. When we sat, Emily excitedly started talking about the wedding. Our fitting was next week and we wanted to give the store enough time to find suits in our sizes. I had my doubts that they would, but Emily was confident.

After awhile the conversation died down as we all concentrated on our food. Emily's face became sad for no apparent reason.

"What's wrong?" I asked her. If it had something to do with the wedding I knew I would do whatever needed to be done to make this day right for them.

"It's just….I'm worried about this weekend." She looked me right in the eye, hers full of concern.

"What are you worried about? Emily, you know better than anyone that we can take care of ourselves."

"Well, yes, a fight would definitely worry me; but that isn't what I'm talking about."

At the mention of a fight Paul put down his sandwich and closed his eyes, the growling in his chest vibrating the table.

I rolled my eyes as Sam scolded him. "Give it a break, Paul. This is really getting old."

I looked back at Emily for an answer. "No, it's not so much a fight that I'm worried about." she said.

I frowned. "What else is there to be worried about?"

"I'm worried about you, Jake. Bella is sure to be there. After all, this is about her, and you know Bella. She would insist on it; she would feel responsible for making this right."

The thought had crossed my mind. Bella would be there, standing next to him in support no doubt. Watching them together made me want to both puke and rip his head off, especially when he touched her. Out of nowhere an image popped up of him caressing Bella's cheek, looking into her eyes before his lips came down to meet hers. Her arms coming up around his neck, pulling him closer. My heart started racing and anger coursed through my body. It felt like electricity moving itself through my veins and the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. I shook my head to rid it of the thoughts and cleared my throat, bringing my attention back to the present. No doubt about it, the meeting would be interesting.

I shrugged, though I could still feel the energy surging through me. "Nothing I can do to stop that from happening, and I have to be there anyway, so it's a moot point." I looked at her for a second and then tried again to reassure her. "I'll be fine Emily. I can handle this. Besides, Bella has a knack for attracting danger, and I want to make sure nothing gets out of hand."

We all shot a glance towards Paul who had gone back to eating his sandwich. He must have been trying to ignore the comment, but looked up to see all eyes on him. "What?" When no one answered it made him angry. Paul and his temper; it seemed to boil over at anything.

Emily looked at Sam. "Is everyone going to be going to the meeting?"

"Yes, we have to show a strong, united front. Besides, they are sure to bring the entire coven, and I want to remind them of the size of the pack."

She lowered her voice now. "Yes, but still, are you sure that is a good idea?" She threw a pointed glance out of the corner of her eye toward Paul, who happened to be watching.

He stood up in a second, ripping the bench off the picnic table, which caused me to fall backwards to the ground. "What the hell are you trying to say?" His form started to waver immediately, his image blurring into waves.

Sam instantly pulled Emily off the bench and tucked her behind him before facing Paul again. His shoulders squared and his eyes blazed. His face was still a mask of composure, but he looked downright scary. "Damnit Paul, stop this right now! If you keep this up you won't be coming to the meeting. This kind of reaction is the last thing we need. I will not have this turning into a battle while Billy, Sue, Quil, and Bella are there. Do you understand?" His voice was controlled and authoritative.

I was up off the ground and by Sam's side in a moment. Standing shoulder to shoulder I knew we were not a force to be reckoned with. Paul knew it too, and in his frustration he phased automatically, crouching down in front of us. I had not seen him this out of control since the day they found out Bella knew the truth about us. Emily let out a little scream. I knew our phasing sometimes gave her flashbacks of the day Sam….well, of the day she got hurt.

"Emily, go into the house now!" Sam had his arms splayed out to protect her. She ran and I could hear her sobbing. "You take another step this way, Paul, and by god I will rip you to pieces. Do you understand me?" Paul fiercely growled and took off towards the woods. Sam turned to me. "Will you follow him please? I've got to go check on her."

I nodded, but knew this was not going to go well. Sam headed toward the house as I stripped down, running to the forest. I phased on the fly and caught Paul's thoughts, trying to find him.

_--damn bloodsuckers. _

_Paul, you've got to calm down. You're just going to make this worse for yourself if you keep on like this. _I concentrated and could see the forest around him through his eyes.

_You of all people! I figured if anyone understood my hate for them it would be you. Look at what they've done to you, Jake._

I was running now, trying to catch up with him. My fur snagged on branch after branch, catching burrs along the way. _I know you hate them. I hate what they are too, but there's nothing I can do to stop this Paul! I've done everything I know to try to change her mind._

_I don't give a shit about Bella! The rest of you might love that leech-lover, but I see her as nothing more than a pain in the ass. She's done nothing but drive wedges between us!_

That comment caused rage to surge through me, and I pushed myself faster to catch up to him. _No, Paul, you do a good enough job of that on your own. And if you ever talk about her like that I'll rip into you myself. I've done it before,_ I reminded him,_ and I can do it again._

_See what I mean, why the hell are you still protecting her? She is going to become one of them, our sworn mortal enemies._ Paul had stopped running now, turning in the direction I would be coming at him from. I could see images run through his head now. A beautiful Bella, pale skin, red eyes. Bella hunting, her lips pulled back over her teeth, searching for her prey.

_Stop this right now Paul! _I didn't want to see this through his head. But the images kept coming.

Bella ripping the throat out of a wolf, not one of ours but a normal wolf. _She wouldn't and you know it._

_Bella NOW might not, but Bella the leech might. Or maybe something even worse. _Now he had an image of Bella with her lips at Charlie's throat. Her eyes blazed as she sucked the lifeblood from his convulsing body. Her satisfied face as she finished her meal and Charlie's lifeless eyes.

He was torturing me and he knew it. He considered it payback for everyone standing against him. _Damnit Paul, enough!_ But he continued with one last image I had never wanted to see again.

Paul now imagined finding Bella and confronting her. In his image she was still a newborn, very strong; but we knew how to fight them. Paul's image of her crouched into a fighting stance as Paul circled her in his thoughts. _Paul, if you finish that thought you're dead,_ I threatened menacingly. But he did.

I saw Bella leaping forward at Paul and him skillfully dodging her, catching her from the side and ripping an arm off. She screamed and her beautiful face crumbled in pain. He continued his onslaught of Bella in his thoughts as I caught up with him. He crouched down in front of me, preparing to fight.

I couldn't move then, his image of Bella paralyzing me. He was on top of her now, one paw on her face, Bella struggling beneath him as he used his teeth to rip her throat out. Lastly, Paul throwing a match on Bella's body and smoke billowing into the air. The smell of incense permeated my brain and woke me out of my state.

Fury took over. _You're going to pay for that,_ I promised. I wasn't thinking of controlling myself, I was just acting on instinct as I flew at my wolf brother. He was waiting for me and he caught my front leg with his teeth before dodging my body. Pain seared through my leg and I could feel warm blood gushing down it. I landed on the ground again, limping from the pain. It didn't stop me. I knew it would heal soon enough. I crouched again as we circled each other. _You know you want a fight Paul, bring it on. __You've been itching for this for awhile. _I was enticing him, giving me the upper hand.

He flew at me and I met him. We were up on our hind legs, jaws snapping at each other, before falling over sideways, wrestling on the ground.

_You think you're so much stronger than me_, Paul thought.

_I never said I was stronger, but I don't let my anger take over every single time I'm upset. It's your downfall, Paul._

_I bet I could find a way to piss you off again. _He started to imagine Bella and Edward together, lying in the meadow. Edward's hands roaming her body, Bella's eyes closed in pleasure.

My front paw collided with the side of his face and he emitted a yelp. He moved away, shaking his head as droplets of blood fell from a large cut near his left eye. But he didn't stop there as a wolfy grin covered his face. He had found my weak spot and he knew it.

_Oh Jake, imagine that first night together, _he threatened.

_Don't you do it! Don't you dare---_

Too late. I was barraged with images of Edward and Bella on their wedding night. Edward unzipping Bella's wedding dress as he kissed her shoulders. Bella naked in a bed, Paul's image not even close to matching what I knew she would look like. It didn't matter; his imagination got the point across. Edward laying across her, his fingers lightly stroking up and down her side as he kissed down her neck. A new view as I could see Bella from behind, her beautiful silky hair cascading down her bare back, sheets pooled around her waist. Edward pulling her onto him.

Between Paul's thoughts and my fighting against them I was completely distracted. Paul took advantage of it and came at me from behind, slicing his claws down my back. I howled in pain, created both from the images and the injury, but it cleared my head and I was focused on Paul again.

_You're definitely going to regret that! _My wrath burned inside me and I couldn't control it anymore. I turned to him and let him come at me again, but this time I dodged him easily, knocking him to the ground. I held him down with my large body and sank my teeth deep into his throat and ripped. I could feel the salty, metal taste of his blood in my mouth. He howled in agony and I was instantly appalled with myself. I pulled back and I could see that blood was gushing from his neck. _Oh my god! _The gash was large and I could see the muscle and tendons and vessles in his neck. _Paul? Paul, I'm so sorry! _

His thoughts were filled with a red haze that was throbbing along with his blood flow. He was losing consciousness. I knew he could heal…but would it be fast enough?

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**_A/N: Dun dun dunnnnnn. I am going out of town for the weekend and I don't know when I'll get the chance to post again so you're all going to have to wait to find out Paul's fate. Trust me, it could go either way. It WOULD however, move things along if you would review. I've had way too many hits on my story and too few reviews. I appreciate those of you who review consistently, you make my day! I'd love to discuss my characters with you all, to see what you enjoy about the story and what might need some work. I will be throwing some of my own characters into the mix very soon._**

**_I will be responding to reviews today (Friday, October 19th) and part of tomorrow and Sunday...IF YOU REVIEW YOU WILL GET A QUOTE FROM THE NEXT CHAPTER, you may find out the fate of these two before everyone else. _**


	15. Ties

_Thanks to my amazing beta, Kate Pedroso. If you have questions about the characters' motives please review or message me and let me know, we'll discuss. Thanks for the reviews that I did get. I appreciate those of you who take the time to do so. _

**_Disclaimer: All characters belong to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer and her Twilight series. Stephenie, I hope I did Jacob justice._**

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There was nothing I could do. I wouldn't be able to get Paul to phase back and I couldn't carry him as a wolf. 

I phased back and knelt down next to him, my hand over the wound trying to staunch the blood flow. "Paul! Paul, listen to me, wake up!" _Oh my god, I've killed one of my brothers. _Nausea hit and I almost threw up.

I could feel Paul starting to heal, the vessel in his neck slowly knitting itself back together. I pulled my hand back to see that the blood had stopped flowing, but the injury was still very serious. His eyes flickered. "Paul? Can you hear me?"

He grunted a response. The tissues were now healing as well. "Paul, can you phase back?" Again, he could only grunt softly. "Try, Paul. I'll get you back but I need you to try."

His eyebrows knit together in concentration and soon enough he was lying before me in human form. I moved behind him, sitting him up against me. "Are you ok?" I could feel tears start to sting my eyes. I never meant to hurt him this badly. "Paul, are you ok?"

Paul's hand moved up to his throat, which was now almost completely healed. His face was very pale but his eyes opened. "Mmm."

"I'm so sorry, Paul. I never meant to…." I couldn't finish the words as regret consumed me.

The only evidence of the injury was now a vicious red scar from chin to shoulder on the right side of his neck. Paul sat up on his own, looking away from me, and took a few deep breaths. "Don't Jake." His voice was quiet but there was no anger in it.

"Come on, I'll take you back." He didn't push me away as I put one arm under his knees and another behind his back. He threw one arm over my shoulder and I lifted him as easily as if he were a toddler. He closed his eyes as I started to run. We were at least eight miles out.

About half way back Paul opened his eyes. There was more color to his face and some life in his eyes. Another bright pink scar led from his left eye to the corner of his mouth. "Jake put me down, I can run from here."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, put me down." I set his feet on the ground and held out my arms to steady him. His legs folded beneath him and he sat on the ground. "I'm fine," he said as I reached out to him.

"I'm sorry, Paul." Guilt washed over me in waves. As much as Paul and I could butt heads, I never thought it would come to such severe blows.

He held up his hand again. "This was just as much my fault as yours. I did just as much damage."

"I'm ok," I said, doing a full turn so he could see.

He laughed once. "Your back looks like someone took a cheese grater to it." He now looked just as guilty as I'm sure I did. "I'm sorry…and I didn't mean just the physical stuff."

I groaned and looked into the forest. "Please don't remind me. Its bad enough I have all that stuff going through my own head. Seeing it in yours makes it seem more real."

It was quiet for a moment. Paul got to his feet and was able to stand firmly. "Truce?"

"Can you calm down enough to really call it a truce?"

He looked at the ground and frowned. "I can try. I have a hard time thinking of them and not getting mad. It's like…" He paused. "I can't help it. It's like a like that just switches itself on. And…it just pisses me off that they are going to get away with this scott free."

"You're not going to believe this, but I felt the same way."

He looked at me with doubt in his eyes.

"No really, ask Embry. When we took Dad to the emergency room Doc Fang talked about the whole renegotiation thing, and I went crazy. He had to talk me out of wanting to rip a few heads off." I didn't tell him it was because I didn't want to hurt Bella in the long run; I didn't think that wouldn't make a difference to him. "You realize though, that if you can't control yourself Sam is going to order you to stay behind La Push borders for awhile. You know how you hate to sit on the sidelines."

Paul sat there for awhile, contemplating that thought. I knew it would drive him crazy not to be at that meeting in the clearing. "Okay, okay. Maybe we need to come up with a word to use. You know, something to tell me to calm down." He held out a hand to me so I would help him up.

"How about cumquat?" I asked and we both laughed hysterically.

"That might do it." He smiled and took a deep breath.

It was mid afternoon as we jogged back to Sam and Emily's place. I knew Emily would be worried by now.

"Hey, go easy on Emily when we get back. You know she meant no harm when she asked Sam if he was sure we should all go." I gave him a look of warning.

"I know. I'll have to apologize to both of them for that."

We dressed at the edge of the forest and came out behind their house. Sam stood in the doorway in the back. "Better?" he asked. He frowned as we came closer. "What the hell…"

"It's nothing," Paul said.

"Nothing?" He put a hand under Paul's chin and turned his face this way and that. "You've got an enormous scar on your face and neck and Jake looks like he has gone through war."

I looked down at myself and saw that my arms, chest, and, most likely my face, were covered in Paul's blood. I probably looked like I was bathing in it. I walked past Sam and into the house, heading toward the bathroom to look in the mirror. Emily spotted me just as I spotted myself. She screamed and ran into the bathroom.

"Oh my lord, Jake, are you ok?!" Her hands ran over my body looking for wounds. Her fingers lightly ran over the scars on my back making them tingle. I turned and caught her hands in mine and squeezed.

"I'm fine, Emily. It's not all my blood."

"Paul?" I nodded and she ran out to go check on him.

I turned back to the mirror. I looked like death warmed over. Every inch of skin was covered in blood and my hair was in tangles, pieces of twig and burrs caught in it. I sighed in defeat. _That's it; I'm never going to get these out._ I looked under the sink and found the item I was seeking. I walked back out to the kitchen where Emily was making her assessment of Paul's injuries while Sam leaned up against the counter. She knew that we would heal, but it didn't stop her motherly instincts from checking, just to make sure.

I took a seat in one of the kitchen chairs. "I'm sick of this; just take it all off please." I held up a pair of clippers. _There is no point in keeping it anyway. _Emily's eyes widened. "Just do it, Emily, or I'll do it myself and mess it up."

She hung a towel around my neck and brought the clippers to my head. I closed my eyes at the sound of the buzzing and sighed as chunks of my hair fell to the floor. _One more tie cut._

* * *

_So there you have it, Paul survived. I couldn't let his death weigh on Jacob's conscience. Please keep reading and reviewing, knowing people out there like it definitely makes it worthwhile._

_Oh, and let me say this...I have the chapter written out for the negotiations and it is gooooood if I do say so myself. One nice, big twist. Any ideas what it might be? I'm interested in hearing your theories. (It isn't anything I have completely come up with on my own...remember, based off of SM's own story!)_


	16. Ready

_I'm sorry if this one has little grammatical inconsistencies, my beta has sick children to take care of. I'm excited to post the next chapter and reveal my 'twist'. I'm sorry if this chapter seems like a tease but I wanted Sam to have his time to get the 'battle plan' down. I am hoping to get to a total of 70 reviews before then so please take the time to review after you're done reading. _

_**Disclaimer: All characters belong to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer and her Twilight series. Stephenie, I hope I did Jacob justice.

* * *

**_Saturday finally arrived and the second I woke I was already anxious. I hadn't slept well the night before and I laid in bed for hours trying to go back to sleep. It was eight o'clock in the morning and I knew I had an entire day before me. I had to find something to do before I drove myself crazy. I went to the bathroom to take a shower and caught my reflection in the mirror. I ran my hands through my new haircut. The sides had been cut short with the top a little longer and it was now sticking up in spikes. I had to admit, the cut suited me. _Damn I look good_. My reflection smiled and his white teeth shone against the smooth russet skin.That thought made me laugh. I'd never been narcissistic in the past but I liked how I looked. 

I finished my shower and threw on a pair of boxers and jeans with the knees torn out. Billy's door was still shut so I assumed he was still in bed. I figured I would let him sleep. He had been so stressed out this last week. I don't know if he was just worrying about me or about the meeting as well but he wasn't eating much and he looked completely worn out. He was really quiet as well and that worried me. I'd have to give Charlie a call tomorrow and see if he could convince Billy to get together.

I ate a quick breakfast that consisted of an entire box of frozen waffles and a half gallon of milk. I scribbled a short note letting him know I'd be at Sam's because I'd come in after Billy had gone to sleep and I didn't want him to worry about where I was. I threw on a black tshirt and my boots before heading out the door.

It was misting outside, a fog covering the area around the house. Everything was still and it seemed almost too quiet. _You're just working this up inside your head. _I went out to my garage and threw a leg over my motorcycle. It was my favorite way to travel and even rain wouldn't stop me from riding it. When you're practically invincible you aren't scared by much.

It was a quick ride to Sam and Emily's place. Their place was still quiet and so I figured they were still sleeping as well. I decided I would just go out to the workshop and get some work done. Sam gave us all an idea of what he wanted done. The arch would be made out of oak with intricate carvings of roses, vines, and wolves. Billy had taught me how to do such things so I knew Sam wouldn't be upset with me working on this alone.

It felt great being able to put my skills to good use and I knew Emily would love this. Only part of one pole of the arch was smooth and ready for carving so I got down on my knees and started there.

I don't know how long I worked there before Sam came out. I was concentrating so hard on what I was doing that I didn't even hear him come in until he put a hand on my shoulder. I had finished about a foot of wood with one wolf and two roses, vines connecting all three images. Sam's eyes were still sleepy as he yawned but when he saw what I had finished he clapped me on the back.

"That looks amazing, Jake. You'll have to show me how you do that sometime."

"You'd be better off learning from Billy. I don't know if he has ever shown you some of the things he made for my mother but it is pure art."

Sam yawned again before sipping from his mug of coffee. "How is Billy and the leg? Is he ready for tonight?"

"To tell you the truth, I haven't been home much the past week. I assume his leg is better, he hasn't said anything about it. I think he is stressed, maybe worried about tonight." I felt guilty that I didn't have more to tell him.

He nodded. "I'm sure. Come on, lets go inside. Emily is making pancakes."

I contemplated just going back to work. "I already ate breakfast."

He looked at me, surprised. "You're going to pass this up? Emily will be disappointed," he said as he laughed.

I gave in. "On second though, Emily's pancakes do sound good."

The kitchen smelled mouthwatering and Emily's food did not disappoint. Soon enough, more of the pack started to make an appearance. We were all meeting here to discuss how tonight was going to go down before we left. Quil was one of the last to arrive around noon, having picked up Collin and Brady on his way.

Quil came over and pointed to my head. "Its about time you got rid of that girly 'do," he teased.

"At least that was the only part of me that was girly," I joked back. "We can't do anything about your face." I grabbed him around the neck and that started a wrestling match.

Sam wanted us to all have some "fun time" before the drama and tension of tonight so we spent the afternoon playing soccer. It continued to be overcast with some light misting and some drizzling. We didn't let that stop us. The teams were divided up pretty evenly with Sam and me as captains. I was a decent player but didn't have the knowledge of the game to be great. Seth, on the other hand, had a talent. He dodged and dribbled like lightening. The kid, though only two years younger than myself, made me feel like an old man. If I wasn't what I was I knew I'd have ended up stiff as hell the next day.

At one point Quil had accidentally kicked Paul in the shin pretty hard when he was trying to score. Paul's face got red against his russet skin. "Damnit, Quil. Normally people kick the ball, not the person. Why don't you watch the hell out." He was now up in Quil's face and Quil wasn't backing down.

I cleared my throat and yelled, "Mmmhmm. Cumquat!" All eyes turned to me with puzzled faces, except for Paul. He cracked a smile and then broke out laughing.

Embry was the one to ask, "what the hell is that supposed to mean?" I couldn't speak. I was doubled over laughing and couldn't breathe. Between what I had said and Paul and my reaction, everyone broke out laughing.

I was lying on the ground with tears rolling down my face when Paul walked over to give me a hand up. When I was in a standing position he clapped me on the back and whispered, "thanks man."

I just smiled and pulled him into a half man-hug. "No problem."

We went back to our game and around dinner time decided to throw in the towel. Sam's team had won 5-2. Paul was on Sam's team so we didn't have to worry about him being in a bad mood. Leah was actually smiling for once, having scored two of the goals herself with Seth's assistance, while Jared gave Embry crap for being the worst goalie.

Sue had sent along a smorgasboard of food with Leah and Seth so between that and Emily's cooking we had a very filling dinner. Afterwards we all went back outside to discuss what would happen at the meeting.

Sam set orders for tonight. "We've already discussed and agreed to the conditions of the treaty amongst the elders and ourselves so we won't worry about that right now. I'm more concerned with 'security' so to speak. Jake will carry Billy to the clearing, Quil will carry Quil, and I will carry Sue. The three of us will stay in our human forms next to the elders during the meeting and the rest of you will remain phased. You will fan out behind us, making a half circle. Jared and Embry, you two will be on the ends closest to the coven. Paul, you will be next to Jared, then Seth, Brady, Collin, and Leah you will be next to Embry." He looked around to see if everyone understood and they all nodded. "This is going to be difficult. We are going to be closer to them, and for a longer time, than we were when observing how to fight the newborns. It is going to be extremely important that everyone remains well under control. Do any of you think that will be a problem? Please, don't be afraid to speak up."

No one responded so Sam went on. "If, for any reason, you feel that you're going to lose control I expect you to let Embry know. If you need a quick break, depending on the situation, it might be possible. If someone else observes one of us starting to lose control I expect that you, Embry, will take action." Embry and the rest nodded their understanding.

Sam continued. "If, god forbid, something should go wrong…Jake, Quil, and I will each take our elder and fall back. I expect that you will converge around us until we can make it to the tree-line. After that, we will phase and then Seth, Brady and Collin will fall back to protect them for as long as possible. If necessary, I may ask you three to simply return to La Push with the elders. Is that understood?" The three youngest wolves nodded their heads vigorously, happy to have a specific role in the 'plan'. "I don't expect there to be a problem but it is better to be prepared." He stood as he finished.

I spoke up next. "Sue should be picking up Billy and Quil as we speak. We will leave while it is still light out and hope to reach the clearing by dusk."

That wasn't far off now. We would most likely be leaving in less than an hour. The tension in the air grew and everyone was quiet. Sam went inside to spend some time with Emily before we had to leave. She had her fears that he or others may not come home and no matter how ridiculous that thought was he couldn't talk her out of it.

I just laid in the grass and closed my eyes, humming to myself. I was trying not to think of what might happen tonight, how I might feel. I didn't want to work myself up. I must have dozed off because Embry was shaking me to wake me up.

"They've arrived, its time to go," he said.

Everyone was huddled in a group in front of the house. Billy, Quil, and Sue all wore their raincoats to protect themselves against the cool mist. Billy's face looked drawn. He was very pale and seemed to have a light sheen of moisture covering his face and neck.

"Dad, are you feeling ok?" I frowned, worried that he might not be up to this.

He looked up at me with tired eyes. "I'm fine. Lets get this over with."

I hesitated and looked over to where Quil and Sam were picking up their respective charges. "Lets go," Sam ordered.

I picked Billy up and followed the rest towards the forest. The pack surrounded us in their human forms with Embry and Jared in the lead. Paul and Leah flanked us with Seth, Collin, and Brady picking up the rear. It was going to take longer than if we were all in our phased selves but no one complained about the pace. Everyone was quiet during the run, staying alert for signs of trouble or the scent of vampires.

Billy rested his head on my shoulder and closed his eyes. I tried to keep my stride smooth so I wouldn't jostle him. He felt like a child in my arms and I immediately felt very protective.

We caught the scent of them well before we reached the clearing. The sickly sweet smell made the hairs on the back of my neck and my arm stand up. I would compare it to the feeling of static electricity if anything. We slowed to a stop. Sam turned around with Sue in his arms to face the way we came as the male wolves stripped down to phase. Then he turned back around as Leah went to the back of the pack to do the same. Being the only female, we tried to respect her physical privacy as much as possible. She returned to Quil's side and we forged on.

The clearing came into view and we could see seven pairs of golden eyes and one beautiful chocolate pair watch our approach. They spread out on either side of Carlisle and he took a step forward to greet us.

"Thank you for coming."

* * *

_If any of you have seen the commercials for Orbit gum ("cleans a dirty mouth") that is where I got the idea to use the word cumquat...its the woman screaming at her cheating husband and his mistress. "Pickle you cumquat!", "Who you calling a cumquat you lint licker!" Yes, I am easily amused._

_As I said above, I'm hoping to get a total of 70 reviews before posting my next chapter. I'm going to try as hard as I can to hold out for that too. The most I've ever gotten was 8 reviews for a single chapter. Hey, I've got goals! Please take a second to write the review...tell me you love it, tell me you hate it, tell me you giggled. I would love it._


	17. Negotiations

_Thanks to my beta, Kate Pedroso, for her work. I won't go on and on here but its a longer chapter for you...and I could not wait for 6 more reviews to post it. I really do appreciate those of you who consistently review. Enjoy!_

**_Disclaimer: All characters belong to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer and her Twilight series...for now. Stephenie, I hope I did Jacob justice._**

* * *

We halted at the edge of the tree line, about thirty yards away from them. We would have to move closer for Billy, Quil Sr. and Sue to interact with them without yelling. Carlisle halted where he stood and let us move in as close as we were comfortable. We got about fifteen yards from them when I felt Billy stiffen in my arms. It was as far as I would have gone anyway. The wind was moving towards us and the stench rolling off of them was enough to make me sick.

"Close enough?"

"Definitely," he whispered. It was futile; they would hear him anyway, but I didn't point that out.

I gently lowered him to the ground. He winced when I backed away. _Damnit, why didn't I think of bringing something for him to sit on? _As Sam and Quil set their charges down I looked around, but saw nothing in the immediate area. All of a sudden I heard a sharp intake of breath from Billy and growls from the wolves behind me. I whirled around to see that Edward had crossed the distance between us and was standing about five yards away. In his arms he carried a fairly large log. He looked at me and set it down before backing away.

I looked at him curiously. "It has a natural seat in it," he explained quietly. _Of course, he heard me._ I bristled, already irritated. Being around Edward always did that to me. It was bad enough that the rest of the pack could hear my thoughts when I'm a wolf, I hated it that someone could hear my thoughts in human form as well. Sam and I walked forward, bringing it back for the three elders to sit on.

I looked behind me to make sure everyone was in place. Wolves in all sizes and hues stood close by in a semi circle. Directly behind me I could see Collin and Brady, backs raised. "Calm down," Sam ordered quietly. I looked over at Embry. "Set?" He nodded his head once. I looked at Sam, who nodded, and then I squared my shoulders forward before laying a hand on Billy's shoulder, letting him know it was ok to start.

While Billy made introductions I looked at the Cullen's and avoided looking at Bella. They all had the same pale skin and golden eyes, all unnaturally beautiful. _Gods among men_, I thought, only half sarcastic. I won't lie; the other half was simply natural jealousy. Not that I didn't like how I looked. On the contrary, I knew I looked good. Bella had even told me once. '_You know, you're sort of beautiful.'_ I could still remember the way she used to blush and turn her head away when I'd walk into a room, half naked. Movement caught my eye and I saw Edward's head bow, a frown covering his face. Though he wasn't looking at me I knew he had heard my thoughts. I rolled my eyes. It was his own fault for listening in the first place.

Carlisle began to introduce his family. There was tension in the air, although it wasn't as bad as the last time we met here for newborn elimination training. I inwardly smirked at that. I knew how the wolves felt; I'm sure their discomfort mirrored mine to varying degrees. I looked at the Cullen's and realized they probably felt the same way…except for the big one. He was standing on Carlisle's right side, looking confident and wearing a big, goofy, confident smile. _What was his name again…_it took me a second to dig it out of my memory. _Emmett. That one isn't afraid of anything. _His mate stood next to him; blonde, gorgeous, and looking down her nose at us in disgust. _I bet she's got a bit of a prissy side, the snob. _On the end of that side was the one I would assume was Carlisle's mate, since I basically knew everyone else. She was beautiful in a very ethereal, motherly sense.

My eyes shifted to Carlisle's left. There stood 'The General', as I had referred to him when speaking with the wolves. I knew Jasper was his name, but who cares; the guy had a knack for battle strategies. He was definitely one I wouldn't want to run into alone. I didn't fear him exactly, but he would put up one hell of a fight, as would the pixie to his left. Alice was more of a danger to other vampires than to us since she couldn't see us in her visions, but she was vicious in battle. I had seen her in action and she was downright scary.

Finally my eyes settled on the last member of the coven; Edward. He was looking directly at me, a small smile on his face. It was friendly, but I wasn't interested in holding his gaze. I'm sure he was listening in on my reflections about his family. Bella was standing next to him, holding his hand. I caught her gaze. She was staring at me, her eyes soft but sad. I immediately looked away, back to Edward.

I crossed my arms and purposefully directed a thought at him. _You know, you could make this a little more comfortable for these three. Do me a favor and sit down; having you all standing is putting everyone on edge. _I knew they were lightning quick, and that sitting on the ground wouldn't make them any less dangerous if they wanted to attack, but it might at least comfort Billy and the other two.

He gave a discreet nod and sat, pulling Bella down with him. The others looked at him questioningly, but he was able to convey his purpose easily enough with a simple tilt of his head towards us. Carlisle nodded once and sat as well, the rest following.

_Thanks._ Again he simply nodded once, his face now blank of emotion. He was probably listening to everyone now. _You could do me another favor and try not to listen in on everyone's thoughts tonight. You might not like us, but we agreed to come. Give them a little privacy._ I didn't expect a response to that and I'm sure it wouldn't have mattered; he would listen in anyway.

Billy visibly relaxed a touch and pulled out a piece of paper outlining the terms before he started. "We knew this was inevitable, and we've come to new terms." We all settled in, the coven's full attention on Billy. "First and foremost, you must leave before Bella is turned. We do not want a young vampire in this area." I looked at Bella but she was looking at the ground. I wondered what she was thinking.

"Secondly, if you accept these terms you cannot return for some time. This is simply because we assumed that if Bella accepts your lifestyle it will take her some time to gain control of herself. We do not have a specific time frame but I would assume you would use good judgment on that matter." The images Paul projected to me the other day popped in my head; Bella hunting, feeding, maybe slipping up a time or two. Edward's brow furrowed.

_You know this is what she'll become, don't know why you're frowning about it. You've already agreed to turn her into this sort of animal._ I didn't even bother looking at him when I said it. I knew what kind of damage my thoughts would do.

Billy continued. "Thirdly, you must inform us before making any visits or if making plans to return here to live. Bella has a number where you can reach us, for awhile anyway. If it is after we've passed it is your responsibility to find a way to contact us. If the pack discovers you in the area without proper warning the treaty is null and void. Term four; if or when you return, hunting will not be allowed within fifty miles of Forks and La Push…the border law remains. Number five, if Bella returns she is to be escorted by at least three of your kind." That one brought confused stares from the coven.

Billy tried to explain. "From what we understand, you are turned completely over to your instincts when you hunt and, as it takes time for you to learn control, we are taking no chances by letting her hunt by herself. She will have an escort so that if something goes awry you will be able to control her, or stop her if necessary…because if you won't, we will." His voice was stern and the threat was obvious. They nodded their understanding but I could see them bristle. They didn't like that thought.

I looked over at Bella to see her reaction. She was still looking at the ground, but now I could see that tears were falling quietly down her face. I ached to hold her. Instead, Edward removed his hand from hers and put his arms around her. She buried her face in his chest.

Jealousy flared in me. _If you weren't so selfish she would remain human and things like this wouldn't have to be said. I'm sorry that this is hurting her but this is the way it is. If she is going to be one of you she'll have to accept the terms. Even I can't argue with them. Even I won't make exceptions. _Edward's eyes flashed toward me, the pain and struggle within them obvious. I felt no regret for the thoughts and no sympathy for him.

Billy looked at Bella too, and I knew he felt bad for what pain this was causing. He cleared his throat and continued. "Lastly, this is the _only_ exception that we will ever make. If you turn anyone ever again you will pay the consequences." He paused. "These terms are absolutely inflexible. If there is a problem, it's your own and you have the right not to agree to them. Just remember that if you won't agree you must leave and never come back. If you ever do, even after we've all gone, the pack will have no choice but to attack. This new treaty will go into effect immediately before you turn Bella. And we expect to be notified of that date. Do you understand? "

Carlisle looked to the others in the coven who all nodded their agreement to the terms. Lastly he turned to Bella, whose head was still buried in Edward's chest. "Bella, as part of the family, you will have to agree to these terms as well before we make it final," he said in a soft voice.

She looked up and I could see then how red her eyes were from crying. Edward's shirt was soaked in her tears. It took everything in me not to cross the gap and steal her away, to protect her from all of this. I remembered all those times when she'd let me fold her into my arms. _None of this would matter if you would just stay! _I wanted to scream it at her, to beg and plead with her…all just to stop her from hurting.

My silent scream brought Edward's attention back to me. Now there was a mixture of anger and loathing in his eyes. It pissed me off. _Don't you even think about looking at me like that! I can't help it that it is my reaction. I love her and I've _never_ left her when she was hurting; I made her a promise._ He looked away, settling his chin on Bella's head.

Everyone's eyes were still on her, waiting for a response. She reached up with her left hand to wipe away her tears and I saw something there sparkle. I closed my eyes and sighed, feeling my heart twinge a bit as it started to tear open. _One more reminder,_ I thought. I let out the breath I had been holding in a quick burst. _Damnit, this is harder than I thought it would be. _I took another deep breath and pulled myself together.

"I agree," she said, my eyes opening at the sound. Her voice was still thick with tears though her face showed no particular emotion. She could be hurting, but she could be angry as well. More than once she had reminded me that her anger was hardwired to her tear ducts.

Carlisle nodded and turned back toward us. "Your terms seem fair and we agree to them." Billy and the others relaxed for only a moment before Carlisle continued. "There is something else that we wanted to discuss with you while you are here. We had discussed the fact that we invited our sister coven in Denali."

"Yes, I remember," Billy said. "I informed the pack of that. Did you receive a response?"

"Yes." Carlisle looked toward Edward and Bella before continuing. "They are planning on attending the wedding. They will be here for three days prior to the wedding and at least two days after."

"If they share your… feeding habits… and respect the treaty already set in place then we will have no problem. However, it will be your responsibility to inform them of the terms. If they disobey them…" He left that warning hang in the air. We all knew what would happen if they did not abide.

Carlisle shifted where he sat, clearly uncomfortable. That surprised me, he was always so composed. There was something going on.

"That was what we wanted to discuss. Yes, of course, they share our way of life. However…" He stopped.

I stiffened; something was wrong. I looked to Sam and I could tell he felt it too.

Carlisle went on. "I don't know if they will accept all of the terms of the treaty." I could hear growling behind me, low and continuous, from all members of the pack. "What the hell do you mean you don't know?" I asked, I could feel the anger rising inside me. All of a sudden I could feel a wave of calm wash over me. I'd felt it before. I looked at The General accusingly. I didn't like being manipulated like that.

Carlisle's voice brought me back to him. He looked at me, regret in his eyes. "Did you ever wonder why the coven from Denali did not come to our aid to exterminate the newborns?"

To be honest, I'd never given it a thought. Now I was curious and confused about where he was going with this. _If the covens were so close, why didn't they?_ "No."

"One of the females, Irina, took it personally when you killed Laurent."

It hit me then; I understood. "Who the hell is Laurent?" Sam asked.

"The dark haired _leech_ who tried to kill Bella in the meadow," I said, emphasizing the word. I looked at Edward. _You can all take it personally if you like, but that _thing_ was a leech._

Carlisle nodded. "She is holding it against the pack. The coven refused to fight with us unless we allowed them to take down the pack and, of course, we were not going to let that happen."

"That asshole deserved it," Emmett piped in. "If he had done anything we would have taken him down ourselves anyway." The blonde next to him slapped him on the arm and told him to shut up.

Now it was Sam who responded, his voice was steel. "We appreciate that, but the fact remains. If they come into this area and don't respect the terms of the treaty we will do what we were made to do."

Carlisle looked pained and I realized that the coven was between a rock and a hard place. "As much as I would regret anything such as that happening, we understand your position."

Sam went on, widening his stance and crossing his arms. "Then it has to be asked. If it were to come down to a fight, where would you stand?"

Carlisle looked around. "That has yet to be determined."

I turned my back to the coven, interlocking my fingers and placing my hands on my head. _You know it would be wrong, but you don't know what you'd do about it?_ _Cowards!_ I growled, the rest of the pack following suit, and then turned around. The volume was becoming like thunder. My comment fueled fire in Edward's eyes and they flashed with fury. _Coward, _I repeated.I wanted nothing more than to taunt him right now.

I looked to Bella whose eyes were wide with comprehension. If there was a fight, her soon to be family would only have three choices; to stand on the sidelines and let the pack and the Denali coven fight, to fight with the pack; or to fight against them. _Where would she stand, with us or them? _

"We do not agree with them, but we have also known them for many years; they are friends. There is no easy decision," Edward snarled between clenched teeth. His hands were in fists at his side. Bella was still sitting there, stunned.

I was quivering with anger now. Another wave of calm passed over me as well as the rest of the pack I'm sure. "Knock it off," I growled at the one controlling this wave. He just stared back at me, disgust in his eyes. "We have every right to be upset."

Sam continued on, ignoring my outburst. "Nevertheless, we will do what we have to. We will leave Forks for _you _to protect since you say they are no threat to humans. We do not want to…ruin your plans, so we will simply patrol our own border during that week or so," Sam said. "I would suggest you do what you can to prevent a run in between us."

"I do not know if Irina or any of the others have any overt intentions to attack the pack at that time; we will know more once they arrive. I would hope that they will remember the reason why they have been invited and respect that any type of fight would be unacceptable during that time," Carlisle said, more to himself than to anyone else. His eyes were on the ground. There was a pause before he finished. "That was all that we had to discuss this evening."

Billy responded in kind and the coven stood to leave. _Edward,_ I said, knowing he wouldn't be able to avoid hearing his own name._ I want to talk to Bella for a minute if she's up to it. _

Edward glared at me. I didn't know if he would pass on the message or not. _If you don't ask her I'll come over there and do it myself. _His eyes narrowed a bit and his top lip pulled back, baring his teeth. He bent down and whispered in Bella's ear. She looked up at him and then over at me. He and the rest of the coven retreated into the trees, but I knew he wouldn't be far away. She stood there waiting for me.

I put a hand on Billy's shoulder. "Dad, I'll be right back." He looked up at me with concerned eyes but nodded once.

I walked over to her. She watched me come, fidgeting with her fingers as I neared. "Hey, Jake." Her voice was soft, music to my ears.

I couldn't control myself anymore; I wound my arms around her tiny frame and nestled her into my chest. She was stiff for a moment before she returned my hug. She smelled so good; underneath the stench of vampire that is. She was so soft; I had to remind myself to be gentle. After what seemed like forever I put her down but kept her hands in mine.

"Sorry about that, I couldn't help myself." I smiled, hoping she would understand, that she wouldn't pull away.

She left her hands in mine and gave me a small smile back. "I missed you too." She looked so sad.

I gently rubbed my finger down the tracks her tears had made. "No need to cry; its just business," I said, trying to lighten the mood as much as possible. It was easier now that the bloodsuckers were gone.

She laughed once, despite herself. "I know, but it still seems awkward to talk about it like this. And it all seems to be coming so fast." Her eyes were distant as she lost herself in thought.

"You know it doesn't have to be. I'm sure they wouldn't rush you, Bella. Besides, you always have the alternative." I didn't want to get into that conversation again. I knew it might make her mad, but I couldn't resist throwing it in one more time.

She smirked. "I know, Jake. I know… But there is more to it than that." There was an awkward pause.

There was so much I wanted to say to her, but this was not the time. "I was wondering if you wanted to come down to La Push one more time before the 'big day'. I miss my best friend." I pretend to pout, knowing she wouldn't be able to resist that.

She looked at me and I knew she was torn. "I don't know if that would be such a good idea." She looked back into the trees, out to where Edward would be waiting somewhere.

I pushed on. "I'm not going to kidnap you and run away Bella. I just figured it might be nice to spend one last day together. Especially now that I'm all healed."

"One last day…" she whispered, again lost in thought. She shook her head to clear it. "Okay. I'll have to get back to you on when though. Alice has me tied up in plans for the next week at least, but I could always call you later. Sound good?"

I couldn't help it; I gave her the biggest smile I could manage. "Sounds great." I gathered her up in one more bone crushing hug. She wrapped her arms around my neck and held on tight for a moment.

"I love you, Bella," I whispered before I released her.

She looked up at me. "I love you too," she whispered back. "I'll talk to you later." She turned and walked into the forest.

I stood there for a moment and then turned back to the pack.

* * *

_So there it is, the negotiations, the big issue...or at least one of them. I hope you enjoyed the chapter, now please click the 'Go' button below and leave me a review. Thank you again to my consistent reviewers. You guys are great! I especially want to thank L.M. Lachance for giving me constructive criticism on the technical aspect of my writing itself. I can always use it!_

_If any of you want to discuss this storyline, the characters, or whats to come go ahead and leave a review or PM me. I ALWAYS respond to each and every message I get._


	18. Panic

_I'm going to warn you ahead of time that this is one of those sad chapters for Jacob but it I swear it has it's purpose and in a few chapters you'll see why. Please don't get discouraged. Please read the author's note at the end. Thanks to my beta, Kate Pedroso, for her hard work and opinions._

**_Disclaimer: Majority of these characters belong to Stephenie Meyer and her Twilight series. Some are my own...I know you can tell which is which. Stephenie, I hope I did Jacob justice._**

* * *

I woke the next morning with a start, sitting up in bed as I tried to find my bearings. I looked around to see the four walls of my tiny room. I looked down at my body, my hands searching for any signs of injury. A sheen of sweat covered my body and my heart was racing. When I realized it had just been a dream I felt some sort of relief. I covered my eyes and let myself fall back onto the mattress. 

The remnants of the dream I had were clear in my mind, but fading fast. In it the pack had been patrolling the La Push border when we were caught off guard by a group of unknown vampires and forced into a fight. There were four females and one male, all with the same golden eyes and beautiful features that the Cullen's had. There was only one explanation for this; this was the Denali coven. Even though there were fewer numbers than there had been with the newborns, these vampires were more experienced. They fought more with their heads and less by instinct _and_ they had powers they could use against us. I couldn't quite recall what they were or how they used them, but I could remember the kind of damage they had done to us. I had looked around and saw fallen forms before being caught from behind myself. I remember my dream form writhing on the ground in pain as I saw one of the females come towards me, her eyes now black. Her hands reached forward to finish me off. I heard Bella's voice scream "No!" before a hard, pale form threw the female off me…that was when I woke. _Billy was right; if it came down to war we wouldn't all walk away._

I shook my head, forcing the thoughts out, though the knot in my stomach was still there. I had never had such a vivid dream before. I sat on the edge of the bed and took a few deep breaths, willing my still racing heart to slow. It wasn't working, and I was starting to feel lightheaded. It was too warm in my room and for the first time since becoming a werewolf I felt sick; really sick. I ran to the bathroom and turned the cold faucet as far as it would go. I stepped into the shower and sank to the floor of the tub, feeling the icy water pummel my skin. When I felt as if I could breathe again I lifted my face into the spray, hoping it would completely clear my head. After a few minutes it did the trick and I felt a sense of release flow through me.

_It's just a dream_, I reassured myself I was glad that no one was there to see me like this. _I would never live it down_. I could imagine how much crap that Quil and Embry would give me if they saw me curled up like a very big baby in the bottom of the tub because of a nightmare. That thought made me laugh and I relaxed a bit more. I stood in the shower and soaped myself up.

As I scrubbed my scalp I thought about last night. After the meeting we had made our way back to Sam's in silence. The threat of what could happen with the other coven was hanging over our heads…well, most of our heads. It hadn't stopped Seth, Collin, and Brady from nearly skipping with excitement, especially the latter two. They thought that if it came down to another fight we would include them in the action this time. _Oh so eager._

Then again we had all been that eager before the fight with the newborns. It was a chance to test ourselves, to see how we could perform. Even simply watching the Cullen's fighting each other for practice had given us glimpses into how to fight any vampire more skillfully. It didn't make it any less dangerous, but it did make the challenge more inviting.

_I had been so eager for the fight that I even left Bella for it._ There have been times since then that I wondered if it would have made a difference if I had stayed. A big mental roadblock popped up as my mind started to wander into unwelcome territory. _Stop it, it doesn't matter now! _Sometimes that little voice saved me from a whole lot of hurt. I had gotten good at repressing _those_ kinds of thoughts. _Bella is a friend, simply a friend._ Though I would have preferred something more, it was definitely better than nothing at all.

I rinsed and got out of the shower, wrapping a very large towel around my waist. The cool air on my wet body sent shivers down my spine. I walked out to the kitchen, grabbing the OJ from the fridge. I looked out the window as I sucked down the juice straight from the carton. It was raining buckets outside and it looked dark although it was already mid morning. As I stood there my mind again wandered back to the night before.

It had started raining on our way back. I had leaned my body over Billy's as much as possible, trying to keep him dry and warm. It hadn't worked so well, and by the time we got to the house he was soaked and shivering. I had taken him into the house and sat him down at the table. Emily tried to warm him with coffee while I grabbed a towel to help dry him off. He looked tired and haggard.

"Billy, are you feeling alright?" Emily asked. "You look very pale." Her face was full of concern and she reached forward to put her hand on his forehead, but Billy just waved her off.

"I'm fine, just tired."

"Do you want to go home?" Sue asked. She would have to give him a ride since I had my motorcycle.

"Yes. Sleep sounds good right now." He closed his eyes and leaned back in the chair. "I know there is a lot you guys want to discuss but not tonight. We've got some time."

Sue looked to me. "Jake, will you help me get him to the car?" I nodded and picked Billy up.

"I'll be home soon, Dad," I said as I put him in the car. He looked half asleep already and just mumbled an acknowledgement.

I had gone back into the house and sat with the guys most of the night, discussing the meeting and what the news of the Denali coven could bring. We hadn't really gotten anywhere with it by the time I left.

The phone rang, bringing my thoughts back to the present. "Hello?"

"Hey, Jake, its Charlie. Is your dad there?"

"His door is shut, but I can wake him up if you want me to." I looked over at the clock. It was close to ten 'o' clock now; I was surprised Billy wasn't up yet.

"No, that's ok. I was just checking to see if he wanted me come down there for the game or if he'll be coming here. I haven't talked to him for a few days and the game starts at noon."

"Hmmm. Well I'll ask him as soon as he wakes up. Why don't you plan on him coming to your place. I think he needs to get out of the house, and I don't mind dropping him off." Billy had been spending way too much time by himself in the house lately, mostly because I wasn't home, and it would be good for him to be around Charlie. He needed to get away from all this drama that was causing him so much stress.

"Sounds good. Have a good day, Jake."

"You too, Charlie," I said, and then hung up. I finished my juice and tossed the empty carton in the trash before heading back toward my room. I paused at Billy's door but hesitated before knocking. _I'll give him until I get dressed and then wake him up. _

Back in my room I saw that I had torn my bed apart in my sleep. The blanket and pillows were on the floor and the sheet had been pulled from two of the four corners. I threw everything back on the bed with a promise to myself that I would make it later. I went to open my dresser drawer and nixed that idea. _I'm going to have to do laundry. _I winced; it was one of my least favorite chores and I usually avoided it at all costs. I pulled on a clean pair of boxer briefs, a dark blue tee, and a pair of jeans. I gathered the rest of my clothes and my dirty linens in a pile on the bed. _At least there's no need to worry about separating everything; all I have are darks. _

I walked to Billy's room and put my ear against it, listening for sounds of movement. There were none so I knocked. "Dad? Are you up yet?" I got no response so I knocked again before opening the door. "Dad?"

Billy was like a lump in the bed; one I couldn't see because he was bundled in under his blankets. But that 'lump' was shaking so hard the bed seemed to be vibrating. "Dad?" I said again, confused. I walked around the other side of the bed until I could see his face. "Oh my god!" I got down on my knees beside him. I could only see his face, but he looked like death warmed over. He was almost completely white with dark circles under his eyes. His eyes were small slits, not open but not quite closed. His hair was plastered to his face and the sheets around him were soaked from his sweat. I pulled back the covers to see him better. He was curled in the fetal position, still shivering. "Dad, what's wrong?!"

He only moaned in response. My heart started racing again, this time with worry. "Ok, I'm going to take you to the hospital." I wrapped his blanket back around him, picked him up, and hurried to the car. I gently placed him in the passenger seat and ran to the other side.

I drove as fast as I dared, occasionally taking peeks at Billy to make sure he was still breathing. He never stopped shivering, which both relieved and scared me. "Hold on, dad. We're almost there." I pushed the car as fast as it would go, knowing Charlie wouldn't ticket me anyway.

I pulled into the ER entrance and lifted Billy out of the car as I bellowed for someone to help me. I was just through the sliding doors when a male nurse brought a gurney over. "What happened?" he asked as he wheeled the gurney to a cubicle. "Sir? Sir, can you hear me?" Billy didn't respond so I answered.

"I don't know; I went into his bedroom and found him this way." I stood aside as all sorts of staff came to Billy's side. They poked and prodded him as they cut away his shirt. "Where is Dr. Cullen?" I asked frantically. "He saw my dad the last time we were here." _He will know what to do._

"He's been paged. What was he here for?" the male nurse asked as he took Billy's temperature while another nurse started an IV and another put a mask on his face.

"He fell and cut his leg open on a knife last week."

The nurse pulled up Billy's pant leg and pulled aside the dressing over the cut. The stitches were still there; we had had an appointment to have them removed tomorrow. The skin around the stitches was flaming red with streaks running up his leg. There was some sort of yellowish stuff oozing from between the stitches and the skin was inflamed.

"Oh my god," I breathed.

"This cut is infected." His demeanor was very business-like.

Carlisle entered the cubicle then, nodding in my direction before turning back toward Billy. "Rick," he said, greeting the nurse. "Catch me up." They spoke in medical terms I didn't understand so I just paced at the end of the bed, blocking them out and staring at my dad. He hadn't opened his eyes yet or answered any of their questions.

Carlisle's voice brought me out of my trance. "Jacob, has Billy been complaining of pain or fever at all? Did he tell you he was concerned about this injury?"

I put my hands on my head as I paced, running my fingers through my hair. "No. He never said anything about it. He has been tired a lot this last week, quiet. I thought it was just stress." I raced through the words but I knew he would hear each and every one. I felt extreme guilt was over me. _I should have been home more. I should have known something was wrong. I could have done something for him! _"Is he going to be ok?" My voice pleaded with him to tell me what I wanted to hear.

Carlisle pulled me aside and looked me in the eye. "He does have an infection, I can tell you that right now. I will need to run some tests and do a complete assessment. I want you to go sit in the waiting room and I will come and talk with you as soon as I have a plan. Ok?" I stood there, looking back in the direction where Billy was laying. "Jacob?"

"Yeah," I said, bringing my eyes back to him.

"Go." He pointed in the direction of the waiting room.

I walked out and sat down, still dazed from the events of the morning. I don't know how long I sat there before a cool hand rested on my shoulder. I looked up expecting Carlisle but found myself staring into the eyes of a young, blonde receptionist.

"Hi, I'm Angel. I need to get some information from you for our system. Could you fill out this form and bring it back to the desk, please?" Her smile was compassionate and sweet. I only nodded in response. I quickly filled out the boxes and blanks before getting up and handing it back to her at the desk.

"Can I use your phone to make a few calls?" I didn't know what else to do; I couldn't think straight.

"Of course. There is a private phone over there." She pointed to a small area with a phone in the corner.

I dialed Sam first and let him know what was going on. He promised to make a few calls, including one to Charlie letting him know Billy wouldn't be stopping by. Then I just paced the room. All of the worst case scenarios were running through my head and all I felt was guilt with each and every one of them.

After awhile the receptionist came over to me again. "You're wearing a hole in our carpet," she teased in her soft voice. "Can I get you anything? Water? Coffee? Soda?"

I knew she was just trying to be helpful, but I couldn't focus. "No, thanks." I stopped pacing though, thinking I was making her nervous, and sat down in one of the tiny, uncomfortable plastic chairs. I found another way to fidget though, bouncing my leg up and down. I was impatient for an answer, to know what was going on.

"Jake," a voice said from behind me. I bolted to my feet and turned around to see Emily and Sam enter the waiting room. She rushed over and hugged me. "How is he doing? Is he ok?" she asked as she pulled me down with her into the chairs.

"I don't know. They haven't told me anything except he has an infection…from the cut in his leg." I went back to bouncing my leg, staring at the wall. "He just wouldn't wake up this morning. He couldn't say anything."

"I'm sure he will be fine, Jake."

"He looked horrible, Emily. I don't know what to do." I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees and my face in my hands. I felt a big, warm hand on my back. I felt better having these two here, but it didn't alleviate how scary the situation was.

"We're here for you, Jake. We're here." She put her arm around me and rested her head on my shoulder.

Not long after Embry and Quil arrived, followed by Leah and Sue, and then Charlie. I didn't know how much more I could take with all the questions. I just wanted to know what was going on myself. I was thankful when Emily fielded the questions for me.

About an hour after I had first arrived with Billy, Carlisle came to the waiting room with a woman. They were speaking in low tones together and we all stood when they entered. I could only assume she was a doctor. She was wearing blue scrubs with a white lab coat. She was very tall, with tan skin and short dark hair.

Carlisle nodded to everyone. "Jake, can we talk?"

"Anything you have to say you can say here. This is family." I didn't want to say it, but I didn't want to go anywhere either; I needed the support.

"Alright," Carlisle said. We all sat back down, Carlisle and the woman joining us. "Jake, your father has a very serious infection which has spread to his blood. We are going to have to admit him to the intensive care unit to keep a close eye on him and to give him IV antibiotics to fight the infection."

"Is he going to be ok?"

"I won't lie," he started. "His condition is serious, but we will do everything possible for him….which leads me to introduce Dr. Riese to you." He motioned to the woman next to him, who raised a hand in greeting. "She is on the surgical team here, and I asked her to consult on your father's case."

I looked at him, confused. Fear was clawing its way through my chest. I could feel Emily shift beside me. "Surgeon? Why would he need a surgeon?"

Dr. Riese spoke up, pulling out a blank pad of paper and a pen. "Your father's infection is not only in the blood stream, but in the surrounding tissue as well." She started to draw what appeared to be a leg and continued illustrating her point as she explained. "Some of that tissue has 'died', so to speak. The longer that dead tissue is there, the greater the chance of the infection spreading to tissue that is healthy. What I need to do is surgically remove that dead tissue so there is only healthy tissue left. Between that and his IV antibiotics he should be able to fight the infection off."

"You want to cut out part of his leg?"

"We will remove only as much as we need to."

"But what if you don't get it all, or what if the IV antibiotics don't work?" I was terrified of the answer but needed to ask anyway.

"Worst case scenario is that we may need to amputate." I heard a gasp from beside me and a sob from behind me. I hadn't realized I was holding my breath until it all whooshed out of me. _Amputate. Amputate. Amputate…._the word flashed over and over in my mind, but the doctor's voice brought my attention back. "I have full confidence that the IV antibiotics will work with the infection in his blood as long as we can contain the infection in his leg."

I looked at the doctor, not really seeing her. "Do what you have to."

"I will need a surgical consent form signed, your father won't be able to do it himself," she said as she stood.

Carlisle spoke up once again. I had forgotten he was even there. "He isn't of age to consent."

Dr. Riese looked at me, surprised. "I'm seventeen," I answered.

She nodded slowly. "I will need consent from a family member. Your mother? An older sibling?"

"My mother passed away and I have two older sisters, but neither of them live in the area." I was starting to get frantic now.

"We can do this by phone," Carlisle said to me softly, reassuringly. "You just have to give me a number where I can reach one of them."

"Oh, I didn't call them, tell them." I had been so worried I had forgotten to call my sisters. I hadn't seen either of them in over a year and we didn't talk much on the phone, but I still felt guilty for forgetting to call. I looked around at the others in the room.

"I have their numbers," Sue said, tears still wet on her face. "Let me call and tell them what is going on first, and then you can talk to them." Carlisle nodded and Sue went to the phone in the corner to call.

"How did this happen?" I asked Carlisle.

"It isn't uncommon for injuries like this to become infected. Your father is diabetic, so that can sometimes make it harder for them to heal. I had talked to your father last week, after you left, about making sure to control his diet for optimal healing. I won't go into the specifics about how everything works, but he understood. You said he was stressed. Was he eating ok?"

"I don't know. I haven't been home much the past week." I hung my head in shame, consumed in it from head to toe. Emily placed one on my shoulder, Sam one on my back, and Carlisle laid a hand on my knee. He was so close now the smell was almost overwhelming, but my mind wouldn't trigger enough feeling to be disgusted. "Why didn't he tell me something was wrong? I could have done something."

"I'm sure he was worried, Jake. He knew you were too and I bet he didn't want to add to it," Emily said. She was trying to make me feel better, but it only made me feel more selfish.

"Jacob, there is nothing you could have done unless your father had said something to you about how he felt," Carlisle said. "And you are helping him now by being here. They are moving him to the floor as we speak. When he is settled they will call and you can go up." He gave my knee another pat and then stood and went to the corner to speak with Sue.

I stood up and started to pace again. There was too much adrenaline pumping through me now to allow me to sit still. I looked over and saw Leah in the corner. She was quietly sitting in the corner, her tears almost dry on her face. I was surprised; I didn't expect this kind of reaction from her. Lately she had been so cold, distant. She looked up to see me watching her and she stood.

She slowly walked over to me. "I'm so sorry, Jake," she managed to get out before her face crumpled and she burst into tears again. Her reaction completely shocked me, and I didn't know what to do. I awkwardly reached out an arm and patted her shoulder. She came in closer and laid her head on my chest, still crying.

I looked up at Emily questioningly. _What do I do?_ Emily just shook her head and shrugged. I put an arm around her shoulders and just let her cry. "He'll be ok." Now I was the one trying to reassure. _Gee, we sure changed places fast. _

"I'm sorry, I'm being an idiot," she said as she pulled away, wiping at the tears on her face. She looked around and found a tissue box on a nearby end table. "It all just reminds me of the last time we were here." The tears continued but slowly, silently.

_Of course; last time she was here Harry passed away._ I knew what it was like to lose a parent, but it had been a long time since my mother died…I couldn't imagine losing one now, especially now. Billy was the only parent I had left. _I don't know what I would do if I lost him_. Fear started to spread up my chest, making it hard to breathe._ I can't think like this right now._

"I'm sorry, Leah." I reached out and gave her a quick hug. The fear was swelling uncontrollably inside, burning me; it was starting to turn into panic.

_I've got to…I've got get out of here. _If I stayed there I was going to scream or break down; or worse. I took quick strides toward one of the doors to the waiting room.

"Jake..." Emily began. I knew she would try her best to make me feel better, but I didn't want that right now; I just needed to be alone. I held up a finger to her, letting her know I needed a moment, and continued out of the room.

I found the nearest bathroom and went in, locking the door behind me. I ran the cold water and splashed my face with it. It didn't stop the panic and tears overtook me. My body started to shake uncontrollably until my knees could no longer support me and I collapsed to the floor.

* * *

_So you got a longer chapter and somewhat depressing some might think. BUT, it all has a purpose and I can't get where I'm going without it! This chapter was extremely hard for me to write because I didn't know if I was writing in enough detail for you guys or if I'd be too technical if I added more. Kate tells me it worked out fine but I'd like to know what YOU think too. (For those of you with some medical background, don't get angry with me. haha I was trying to make it understandable.) _

_Kate also told me that she thought it might be a good idea to write a chapter in the Cullen's perspective about the whole Denali/Pack drama. What do you think? Do you want a Cullen POV to see whose side they might take? Leave a review and let me know._


	19. Waiting

_I had gotten a few comments about Leah and what was up with her so I hope this chapter helps explain some. Thanks to my beta, Kate Pedroso. Hope you enjoy. Please review if you have a moment._

_**Disclaimer: All recognizable characters belong to Stephenie Meyer and her Twilight series...the rest are my own. Stephenie, I hope I did Jacob justice.**_

* * *

I'd normally consider myself a patient man, but waiting in a hospital would be enough to drive anyone nuts. _That's all I've done the past few days…wait_. Wait to find out if Billy was going to wake up. Wait to see if the antibiotics would do some good. Wait to see if the surgery would be successful. _I am so sick of waiting._

Once again I was pacing, this time in Billy's room, when Emily and Sam walked in. "How is he doing today?" Emily asked. She came over and gave me a quick hug before placing the plant she had in her hands on a shelf.

"Better; he's off the breathing machine obviously, but he still hasn't completely woken up." I watched her go to the windows and open the shades, letting whatever light there was outside in.

"We need some more light in here. It's too gloomy." She turned around and smiled at me. Her smile was infectious, and these days I was grateful for her presence.

"All we need is your smile," I joked with her. That made her blush as she sat down in a chair next to Billy.

"Quit flirting with my fiancé," Sam said with a grin. "You ready to go?"

We had an appointment in Port Angeles to get fitted for our suits for the wedding. We couldn't put it off. The suits were going to be difficult enough to find with the wedding less than two months off.

"Sure, sure. Thanks for sitting with him while I'm gone."

"No problem at all Jake." She settled back with a book in her hands.

Sam and I went downstairs and outside. I closed my eyes and held my face to the sun. The fresh air felt great.

"It's been too long since you've been outside. When was the last time you left the hospital?"

"The first night Dad was here. I had to go home to grab a few things." I hadn't left his side since except to visit the cafeteria. We climbed into Emily's car; Quil and Embry were in the backseat. "Hey guys." They greeted me with a few slaps on the back and Sam started the car.

"You need to get out more. I think you should spend tonight at home, in your own bed." I went to protest but the outright concern on Sam's face stopped me. "One of us can stay with him. You look like hell, Jake."

"I don't know if that's a new thing," Quil joked. Count on Quil to lighten the mood.

I laughed. "This is what happens when you live for days on cafeteria food and sleep on a cot that is two feet too short. At least I showered. Rachel took some of my stuff home and brought me clean clothes. Sue sent some food with her yesterday afternoon."

My sister Rachel had come home after hearing Billy was in the hospital. I hadn't seen much of her in the past year or so, and she didn't know anything about what was going on in my life these days. She almost seemed like a stranger, but it was still good to see her.

"How long will Rachel be in town?" Embry asked. Ever since we were little he had had a crush on her. He had been very glad to hear she was coming home, even under the present circumstances, but he kept missing her when he visited the hospital.

"She has a couple exams for her summer classes coming up early next week, so she'll leave this weekend. She isn't sure she can come back right after…we'll see I guess."

Embry looked disappointed. "Heard anything more from Becca?" My sister Rebecca had been trying to get home since she got Sue's phone call. She couldn't afford the plane ticket from Hawaii, so she was trying to work it out with the airline for an emergency flight.

"The doctor faxed the paperwork, so she's waiting to see what the airline comes up with. She should know something by tonight or tomorrow morning."

The car was silent for awhile before Quil cleared his throat. "Mhmmmm. Jake, there was something I wanted to ask you, but with the meeting with the leeches and now Billy…but since we're doing wedding stuff today…"

When he didn't finish I turned around in my seat. To my surprise, Quil was looking down at his hands, his fingers fidgeting. I almost didn't want to ask, but did it anyway. "What is it?"

"Umm…well…are you planning on throwing Sam a bachelor party?"

It was such an unexpected question that it took me a moment to react. Before I knew it everyone in the car was laughing hysterically. Leave it to Quil….

* * *

Paul, Jared, and Seth met us at the shop. Leah and I were the only two standing up with Sam and Emily, but she had wanted all the wolves in suits for pictures. Collin and Brady had already had their measurements taken, so they wouldn't be meeting us.

When all of us crowded into the shop we could see the amazement and intimidation in the eyes of the female staff members. I could practically read their minds…'How the hell are we going to dress these guys?!' It made me smile. I loved people's reaction to our size.

"Good afternoon, gentlemen. What can we do for you today?" asked a tall, slender red-head.

"I'm Sam Uley. We have an appointment to be fitted for my wedding."

"Ah, yes," she said. Her worst fears were confirmed; they had to fit us for suits. "I'm Kate. Follow me on back towards the dressing rooms." She led us towards the back of the shop. There was a big square area with dressing rooms lining the walls and a clear area in the middle. "Your fiancé has already given us the suit style, so all we need to do is take your measurements. Mr. Uley, if you'll just step up here we'll start with you."

She had him stand on a small carpeted box before moving over to the wall to grab a measuring tape. "Jill, can you come back here and help me please?" A young woman with dark blonde hair came back, pen and paper in hand. "Mark down their measurements for me as I go."

Jill looked up at all of us shyly. She was so tiny that she barely came up to the middle of my chest. She kept looking up at all of us as Kate called out numbers to her. We had her so distracted that she must have been writing the numbers down wrong, because she kept erasing and rewriting. Her face turned beet red each and every time.

I went after Sam. It felt weird having a strange woman kneel in front of me, running a measuring tape up the inside of my leg, being that close to me. I had to bend forward so Kate could measure around my neck. My face was right into hers and when I looked at her she had a small grin on her face. The look in her eyes told me she was interested…but I was not. I cleared my throat and when she told me she was done I stepped down.

When everyone had their turn Sam followed Kate to the front to fill out some paperwork. Seth had caught Jill's attention and they were obviously flirting. Embry, Quil, and I stood by and watched the interaction.

Quil said that while we were being measured Seth had mentioned asking the girl out. "Ten bucks she says yes."

"I don't know," Embry said skeptically. "I don't know if little brother has game yet…I'll take that bet. Jake?"

"I'm with Quil on this one," I said. The way the girl had been watching us earlier with awe, I was pretty sure she'd say yes to any of us asking her out.

Seth was working himself up to it and we could tell when he finally asked. By the expression on his face we knew she'd said yes.

"Score," Quil whispered, punching both fists in the air and turning towards Embry. "I think you owe me ten, bro." Embry just groaned.

The girl wrote down something on a piece of paper for Seth and then went back to work. Seth came over to us and Quil patted him on the back. "Atta boy."

* * *

Sam and the guys dropped me back off at the hospital with promises to be back in a few hours. Sam had errands to run and the other two were going to get some more work done on the arch for the wedding. Neither had as much skill as myself with the carving, but they could do some minor things.

I returned to Billy's room and stopped short. Someone was sitting next to the window, but it wasn't Emily. I quickly considered going to the cafeteria or the waiting room, but that would be pretty immature. There was no point in avoiding her.

"Hey, Leah. How's it going?"

She turned around with a small smile on her face. "I'm good. Billy looks better."

"Yeah, he's getting better slowly but surely. Where's Emily?"

"Mom and I came to visit while Emily was here. She said she wasn't feeling well, so Mom took her home. What have the doctors said?"

"His first surgery went well, so they're just keeping an eye on the wound to see if the tissue stays healthy. The IV antibiotics are doing their job. It's just going to take time." I sat down in the comfy recliner.

"Any idea how long he might have to be here?"

"At least a week, but it could end up being longer." As long as he got better I didn't care how long he had to be here.

Leah became silent as she looked back out the window. "Sorry I haven't stopped by to visit since that first day."

"Its ok; you were upset. It was definitely understandable."

"I'm not just sorry about that, Jake." She turned to look at me again. "You and I didn't know each other well before I turned, and I haven't been the most respectable person since then either." She looked so miserable, but so thoughtful.

"Is there something wrong?" She looked at me and gave me a sad smile. "Something has been wrong for awhile, hasn't it?"

She smirked and shrugged. "Yeah, but not always the _same_ thing."

"Want to talk about it?"

"Eh, why whine about it to you? You've got enough going on."

"Come on Leah, I'm willing to listen." I wasn't sure what she was going to say, but if it made her feel better it might make things more pleasant with the pack.

She looked as if she was thinking it over. "I guess you'd make the most sense to talk to. You've been through a lot of the same stuff I have, haven't you?"

I just sat there quietly waiting. "Ok, ok," she said. "But you have to promise not to mock me, or laugh at me when I'm done."

"I promise." I crossed my heart and gave her the boy scout honor hand signal.

She stuck out her tongue at me, but at least she was still smiling. "All this stuff with my dad and now yours…I guess it's made me realize that life is too short to be so miserable." She looked back out the window, her face becoming thoughtful again. "I've let myself be like this for way too long. Worse than that, I've said and done some very spiteful things to the rest of you guys. I've been very selfish, especially with you and Sam."

She looked at me to see if I was going to say anything, but I just stayed silent. She was going somewhere with this, and I didn't want to distract her from it. Plus, I wasn't going to deny that she had been a wench to us since her transformation.

"I am so sorry, Jake. I could have been more understanding with the Bella situation. I guess it reminded me a lot of my own situation. In the end it made me hate her. That day out on the cliff, after the fight, I figured you couldn't possibly feel as bad as I did after the ordeal with Sam." She stopped, choking up a bit. "I've been so bitter about it. Even after my transformation, even after I understood how it worked, I couldn't let it go. I figured it was easier and safer to be angry than to admit how heartbroken I was. Not that it fooled you guys after I turned, I'm sure."

I nodded slowly. I understood this part of where she was coming from. "We definitely knew you were angry," I laughed. "I know what you mean about the anger; it helps wall up your feelings. If you can be angry it doesn't hurt as much. But…something has been different with you lately. You haven't seemed as angry."

"No, lately I've been jealous," she said. She ducked her head, but I could see the blush. "Jealous and scared."

"Jealous?" I stared at her, shocked. "What are you jealous about?"

She looked everywhere but at me. "It's so stupid."

"What you say here stays here, Leah. Well, as much as it can with us anyway."

"At first I'd only been jealous of Emily because of Sam, that part is obvious. After I turned I was jealous of her for a completely different reason. All of you loved Emily and all of you thought I was a spiteful bitch. So of course that just made things worse, and I got even angrier. For as long as I've been a wolf I've been the outsider in the group. I…how do I explain so that it makes sense?" Now she was talking more to herself. "I've always been raised to think that a woman should be protected, especially amongst a group of her own. I figured that as the only female in a group of wolves you guys would be more protective of me. Yeah, you were protective of me physically, but emotionally… I've been an outcast. Then later with Bella it was the same way. You guys even changed our whole way of functioning, the whole purpose of us being wolves, for her. Everybody, you in particular, would do anything for her. You said it yourself, for no one but her. You see how that would give me a complex? How that might make me jealous?"

I sighed; it helped to understand Leah, of where she was coming from. It also made me feel a bit guilty. I'd been mean to her for a long time, because of how she would lash out, instead of trying to see where she was coming from. "I'm sorry you've felt that way," I said. "What have you been scared about?"

She shocked me again. "That one is a little easier. I'm scared of the whole imprinting thing."

"Why are you scared of it?"

"Aren't you?"

I had to think for a second so I could put into words what I thought about it. "I'm not scared; more wary of it than anything else."

She chuckled and brought her knees up in front of her on the chair. "Well, that would be a good way to put it too. It's good and bad. It's a great thing because you know if you imprint that you've found your soul mate. Not many people out there can say that they know beyond any doubt that they've found the perfect person for them. I mean, they might 'know' in the moment, but they wouldn't know for sure that person would be perfect for them ten, fifteen, twenty years down the road. Once we've imprinted, there are no doubts, so that is amazing. It _should_ be something to look forward to."

"Should?"

She held up a finger. "My mom thinks that we'll all find our imprint eventually. From how Emily and Kim explained it to her, she thinks that the people we are to imprint on will definitely cross our paths eventually. They'll be drawn to where we are without even knowing it."

"And you doubt it." I frowned. I was confused about what she was trying to say.

She shrugged. "I _hope_ she's right. I definitely want what Sam and Emily have, though I wish it had been with Sam in the first place. All I know is that I want that in my life."

I didn't completely buy into the theory, but I was humoring her. "Shouldn't you be happy then, if you believe what your mom is saying?"

She smiled. "You know me better than that. I'm an impatient person, Jake." We both laughed at that. "Think of Quil and Claire. She is two years old! He has to wait sixteen years before he can even be with her, to love her like he will want to. I look forward to actually imprinting, but what if my imprint hasn't even been born yet?"

"Good point. But if you've got that hope inside you, you shouldn't give it up yet. Both Sam and Jared imprinted on someone closer to their age."

"True. But I want that love in my life now. It's something little girls dream about while the boys play war. And while I'm waiting to imprint, I have to be careful not to develop feelings for anyone else, so that if I imprint they won't have to go through what I have. That means I have to make sure to keep a wall up in my life. I just don't want to hurt anyone. Does that make sense?"

"Yeah, it makes perfect sense." I stopped and smiled. "Have you said any of this stuff about imprinting and keeping a distance and all that to Seth?"

"No, not yet. Mom thinks it'll be a bit before she has to worry about it."

I laughed. "You might want to rethink that one."

She looked at me, confused. "Why?"

"He has a date Friday night," I said and laughed. Leah looked shell shocked. "Come on, I'll buy you some ice cream and you can tell me all of the ways you'll tie him down to beat this all into him."

* * *

_I think Leah could be a very nice character if given the chance to be happy. What do you think? Please take a moment to review!_

_Sorry it is taking me a little longer to reply to people's reviews but I like to put a quote for the next chapter in them and lately I haven't had a surplus of chapters, I've been writing as I'm going._

_Happy Veteran's day to everyone this weekend. My husband and I are going to the Marine Corps Birthday Ball tomorrow so I hope to have a bunch of reviews by Sunday night when we get home. The most I've gotten in one chapter was 8 reviews so top that for me please!_


	20. Going Home

_I'm so sorry that it has taken me this long to update. Work and holidays have absolutely driven me bonkers...its never taken me this long to post. I've had a lot of people add me to their story alert lately so THANK YOU, it always puts a smile on my face. I hope that you all review...hopes are high. Anyway, one more chapter in Jacob's story. Thanks to Kate Pedroso, my beta!_

**_Disclaimer: All recognizable characters belong to Stephenie Meyer and her wonderful Twilight series, all the rest are my own making. Stephenie, I hope I did Jacob justice._**

* * *

Billy had been in the hospital for almost three weeks by the time he was finally discharged. The remainder of his stay after his surgery had been uneventful for the most part, and Billy had woken up the afternoon after our trip to the tux shop. He'd been sassy and anxious to go home ever since. His irritability had only grown to grate on my nerves, and by the end of his stay I was having a hard time being with him in the room for any extended period of time. I knew we were both feeling trapped inside and needed to get out of there.

Magazines, flowers, cards, pictures, balloons, clothes, DVDs, and other items had nearly taken over every open space, so that a person could feel claustrophobic when they walked in, especially people like me who took over half the room to begin with. _I should be happy we're finally getting out of here,_ I thought as I packed various items. Shoved might be a better word. Under the relief I felt for leaving the hospital was irritation and even anger, all directed at one source.

"Easy there, you're going to break something," Leah said. She came over and took the box with vases of flowers out of my hand, shielding them protectively from me. "I'll just take care of these."

Leah had been great since our talk. She'd been by many times to visit and to relieve me now and then so I could get a good night's sleep at home once in awhile. She had become like a surrogate sister to me since Rachel had to go back to school, and since Becca hadn't been able to stay for very long once she finally got here.

"Sorry," I mumbled.

"Seriously, what's wrong, Jake?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Well, some bug has crawled up your ass during this last week," Leah said with a frown. She stopped packing a box with DVDs and turned with her hands on her hips. "If I didn't know better I'd think you and Paul traded bodies or something, because _he_ has actually been very relaxed lately and _you_ have become a frustrating pain in the ass."

"The problem is that I know it." It didn't take much for me these days to go from being on edge to losing my patience. It wasn't like me.

"So what's the deal?"

I just looked at her, hoping my stare would convey that I really didn't want to talk about it. She just pushed the sleeves of her t-shirt up around her shoulders and squared her stance. She stared right on back.

"You know, I might be a woman, but the fact is I could still kick your ass." She looked so damn serious about it that I couldn't help but smirk. When she saw that she flexed her muscles and growled playfully, raising one eyebrow. "Or at least give you a run for your money."

I chuckled. "Alright, alright. Just not here, ok? Later." I could hear Billy's voice in the hallway, and I didn't want to get into it in front of him and his guest.

"I'm going to hold you to that and you know it."

"Sure, sure."

Billy rolled into the room with Charlie doing the pushing. "Avoid the cafeteria at all costs, it just might land someone in here with food poisoning," Billy said with a smile. He'd been in a much better mood knowing he was going home.

"I always thought bad hospital food was a cliché, but they've got it down here," Leah agreed.

"Thankfully, your mom has been supplying us with food, or Jacob would have starved," Billy said. Sue had been bringing by food almost every day, and I truly was thankful for it. I was thankful to all of my 'extended family' for being there for us during this time.

"I'm more thankful that Charlie came by every afternoon to keep you busy after you woke up. You were driving me nuts." I clapped Charlie on the back. He had come by every day after his shift and to watch whatever game was on during the weekend so that I could go over to Sam's place for a few hours and work on the arch for the wedding.

"You haven't been such a peach yourself," Billy joked.

Charlie put his arm around my shoulders; as much as he could anyway. "Growing man like this needs fresh air. I'd have been cranky if I was cooped up in here too."

"Well then how 'bout we all just get out of here?" Billy had been trying to wheedle his way out all morning.

"You know the nurse was going to discharge you as soon as she could, dad. Try and be a little more patient." At times I felt like our roles had been reversed and I was giving all the parental orders. "She had to get in touch with that home care agency before she could give us more information, remember?" Billy was going to need a nurse to come in at least every other day to do dressing changes on his leg and give him more antibiotics at home.

He gave me the obligatory 'sure, sure' while the rest of us laughed. The disappointed look on his face was too funny not to.

Charlie picked up his jacket and shook Billy's hand. "I've got to get out of here. I told Bella that I would cook dinner for her tonight."

"Poor girl," Billy said. That brought on another round of chuckles.

"Well, my idea of making dinner consists of bringing a large pizza home. I'll see you guys later." He waved to Leah and me before turning to Billy. "I'll see you for the game tomorrow."

"Hey, Charlie. Do me a favor and thank Bella for stopping by." I plastered a tense smile on my face and tried to keep my tone somewhat pleasant, but there was a definite edge to it.

He looked somewhat puzzled, just as I knew he would. "Sure, but when…" He looked me in the eye and stopped, then nodded. "Have a good night you guys."

We repeated our goodbyes and then Billy transferred himself from the chair to the bed. "I didn't know Bella stopped by. Well, that was nice."

Leah looked over at me from the other side of the room and shook her head. I couldn't help but smile and do the same. The sarcasm had gone straight over his head.

"Jake, why don't you help me take this stuff to my car. I'll drive it over to your place for you. That way when Billy is discharged you guys can head right out."

"Sounds good. Dad, I'll be right back."

We loaded up our arms with boxes and bags so that we could barely see where we were going. We didn't need to make more than one trip considering it didn't matter how heavy things were. The day outside was overcast and there was a light mist of rain in the air. I took a deep breath of it, and a great calming sensation fell over me.

"No matter how much it rains, I still love the smell of it."

Leah looked as if she was considering that one. "I love the smell of rain, but it would be nice if the sun would shine _with_ the rain now and then."

"Good point."

Leah climbed onto the hood of her car and I leaned against the front bumper.

"So I've got a pretty good guess what's been on your mind now," Leah started.

I nodded. "I bet you do."

"It's later so…talk."

"What's there to say?"

"You're pissed, Jake."

"You're damn right I'm pissed." The anger started to bubble inside and a bitter taste filled my mouth. "I couldn't count how many times all of you guys have been here. Charlie came everyday…hell, even Carlisle stopped by every couple days. But did she bother? No. Not a visit, not a phone call, nothing. How is that possible?"

"Sent messages with Charlie and Carlisle," she said, trying to make me feel better. Instead I gave her a scathing look. She scooted closer to the front of the hood and put her hand on my shoulder. "I don't know, Jake. I'm not even going to try to think of reasons. She must have had one. You know she loves you."

I pulled away from her hand and away from the car. "Ha! What? You show someone how much you love or care for them by ignoring them during a time when they could use you most?" I ran both hands through my hair. I looked up at the sky and quietly groaned. "I don't want to talk about this anymore. I'm going to become that bitter person we just got rid of." I looked at her out of the corner of my eye.

She shrugged. "A little bit of the old Paul, a little bit of the old Leah. Not a good combination. I liked the old Jake best. Try not to let it eat at you today. Billy is finally coming home." She shoved off the car and gave me a quick hug. "Thing will get better, Jake. Have a little faith."

"A new, positive and happy Leah, eh? Not too bad."

She poked me in the ribs and got in the car. "See you later."

I waved goodbye and then made my way back upstairs. I made it there just in time to hear the nurse say she had all of Billy's discharge paperwork done.

"Ready to get out of here?" she asked.

"More than you know," he answered with enthusiasm.

* * *

The first night at home hadn't gone so badly. Billy and I were both extremely happy to be home. So much so that both our moods improved immensely as soon as we got in the door. There was a big banner hanging in the kitchen welcoming Billy home, and Sue had left dinner for us in a crock pot on the counter. The house had recently been cleaned and when I went to my room I saw that the laundry had been done and the bed had been made. The same went for Billy's room. I almost did a little happy dance right then and there.

We had dinner early, and later in the evening people started to stop by. Before long the house was too small for everyone to fit into it, and people started to spill outside. Sam started a fire in the yard and we took out chairs.

Billy tired early and Sue helped him to bed before going home. The pack stayed out in the yard late into the night, enjoying each other's company and the very clear sky.

"You going to come over tomorrow?" Sam asked. "Emily would love to see you."

"Where is she tonight?" Jared asked.

"She was tired," Sam said, looking into the fire. Emily hadn't been feeling the best since the first week Billy had been in the hospital.

"Yeah, I'll be over, but I'll have to be back sometime early in the afternoon. The homecare nurse is coming for the first time, and Billy wants to make sure I meet her."

Quil's ears perked up. "Nurse, huh? Nothing sexier than a nurse."

"Oh really," Embry said. "What if she's really old?"

Quil struggled to find some smart comment for that one and Embry smirked. "Want to bet?" Quil asked.

"Odds are in my favor, my friend. I'll take your bet. Hey, if you think nurses are so sexy, maybe you should talk Claire into it when she gets older."

"Or at least into getting a cute little nurse's costume," Paul said.

"Hey now, that's my two year old niece you're talking about. Save that talk until she's legal…or at least close to it," Sam warned with a laugh. "Either way, you better not let Emily hear you talk like that."

"Oh hell, we aren't that crazy," Embry said.

* * *

That night I slept more soundly than I could remember. I was sleeping so hard that I missed my alarm clock and Billy had to nearly break down the door to get me to wake up.

I stared, bleary eyed, at the alarm clock before knocking it off the nightstand. I got to my feet and opened the door before turning around and falling back to the bed. Billy rolled into the doorway.

"Sam called. He says he was expecting you an hour ago, so he got worried. Are you ok?"

"I'm fine. I guess I was just a helluva lot more tired than I expected. Either that or knowing I didn't have to go back to the hospital this morning let me sleep like a baby." I sat up, my head still not completely clear. "I almost feel like I'm drunk or something."

"When have you ever been drunk?" Billy asked jokingly. Truth was, I'd never been drunk in my life.

I laughed. "You know what I mean."

"Why don't you jump in the shower? I'll throw a box of cereal and a gallon of milk on the table for you."

"You're in an oddly good mood."

"I'm no longer in a hospital. What's not to like?" He smiled wide and I couldn't help but do the same.

The shower did the trick, and between that and an entire box of fruit loops, I was feeling much more alert. The sun was shining bright outside and feeling it on my face lifted my spirits even more. I broke my motorcycle out for the first time since Billy's hospitalization, and the wind blowing by me felt like heaven.

Emily opened the door and stood in the entrance while I parked my motorcycle. She looked pale, but her face was all lit up with a smile. "Hey stranger," she said, holding her arms out for a hug. "Long time, no see."

"Missed you too. How are you feeling?" Now that I was done worrying about Billy it left me open to worry about others.

"I'm great," she said, and her thousand watt smile turned up a few more notches.

"I'm very glad to hear that. Is Sam already out back?"

"Yep…he's been out there for a few hours already. He's still not letting me in there," she said, pouting. "I wish I knew what was going on." She looked at me, turning that pout on full force.

"Oh no, forget it! That's not going to work on me. He'll let you know what's in there when the time is right. Be happy to be surprised."

She chuckled. "Darnit, I thought you might be soft to telling me since I haven't seen you in a week. Will you at least do me the favor of taking this tray out there?"

She had made sandwiches and lemonade for lunch. I picked one up and took a bite out of it. "Just had to take a sample," I said while chewing.

She swatted me with a towel and I went to the work shed. Sam had Seether on in the CD player and had cranked it to a deafening level. He was using a sander on the arch and hadn't seen or heard me come in. I put the food down on the nearest clean surface and went to the radio, turning it down to a tolerable level. That caught Sam's attention and he turned around.

"Sorry I'm late."

"What?" he yelled, pulling out earplugs and pushing the goggles he was wearing up on his forehead.

"Sorry I'm late," I repeated.

"Oh, no problem. I just got worried that something was wrong with Billy or I wouldn't have called."

"No, he's actually doing great this morning, and I slept like the dead. It felt great. Oh hey, Emily made some lunch."

"Great, I'm starving," he said, digging in full force.

"She's getting anxious about what's going on out here. She tried to pout it out of me."

Sam laughed heartily and then started coughing like he was going to choke. I offered him a glass of lemonade and then gave him a good pat on the back. "Thanks," he said, continuing to cough. "She's been doing that all week. I think she is getting more anxious about what it is, considering we've been working on this 'surprise' for weeks."

"You ever think she'll pop out here sometime when you're not around and take a peek?"

His grin widened. "No, because I've warned her that if she does I'll go back to the tux shop and get the ladies there to order neon orange vests and ties for the wedding."

I laughed hysterically. "And she believed that?"

"Hopefully, 'cause it's the only thing keeping her out of here at the moment." He finished off the sandwich in two bites and then started on another as I observed the arch and what was done, and what had yet to be done.

All four posts had been clearly defined. Three of them had the roses and vines finished, so we only had the last post and the connecting arches left. It was moving along beautifully. I put on some gloves and picked up some tools to start carving. It felt good to be working with my hands, to have nothing to worry about besides what they were creating. Sam finished his lunch and then joined me. We worked in synchronization, not having to speak, but knowing what to do. We worked that way for hours before breaking ourselves out of our concentration. Sam looked down at his watch and announced, to my shock, that it was late in the afternoon.

"Crap, the home nurse is going to stop by. I need to get home." Sam followed me into the house, where I went to wash my hands.

"Jake, would you mind if I came over too? I haven't seen Billy for a few," Emily said.

"Of course not, come on over if you want. You'll have to drive yourself though, I have my motorcycle."

"I'll take you over, Em," Sam said.

Emily grabbed a big plate full of cookies and walked outside. I followed them on my motorcycle. My mood had taken such a dramatic turn since the previous day. I felt so good I couldn't describe it, couldn't even describe why I felt so good. It was like the anticipation you feel on Christmas Eve, knowing the next morning you'd have gifts to open. It was excitement, and it was very confusing . But I didn't sit and ponder about it because I didn't want to bring down my good mood.

When we pulled up in the drive it was empty. _Either we missed her or she hasn't shown up yet. _I bet on the 'missed' option and hoped that Billy wouldn't be too upset that I hadn't been there.

I followed Sam and Emily into the house, and the moment I stepped in the door the hair on the back of my neck stood up. It was like a current of electricity had passed through me.

I caught Sam by the arm as Emily continued in. "Do you feel that?" I whispered to Sam cautiously.

"Feel what?" Sam asked curiously.

"Something is…different." I sniffed the air. There was no vampire scent that I could detect, so I wasn't worried about that. Instead, the scent I caught in the air was distinctly fruity and very appealing.

I followed Sam's lead into the kitchen, where we found Emily sitting at the kitchen table next to Billy.

"Hey, you're late. You missed her. She'll be back tomorrow."

"I figured," I winced. "Sorry, dad. We got kind of caught up." I was still kind of distracted, looking around the kitchen. The feeling of electricity was still running through me from an unknown source.

"I know who you're working with," Emily said. "It's this girl I met a few weeks back and I've seen her a few times since. She kind of hinted to me that she would be working with you after I mentioned your name once. I hope you don't mind…confidential stuff and all that."

"Oh no, I don't mind. She is a very nice woman."

"Young or old?" Sam asked.

"Young. She can't be older than early twenties."

"Well, I guess Quil won that one," Sam said with a laugh.

"Oh, and quite beautiful," Billy continued, winking.

"What's her name?" I asked him.

"Eden Cross."

* * *

**_Please leave a review! I'll try and add another chapter this weekend some time but I'm interested in what people are picking out of my story...both the overt things and the hidden ones. :o)_**


	21. Gravity Moves

_In my anticipation to post this chapter, I accidently did so before leaving my little note. This chapter was by far the hardest to write. I've posted it without getting it back from my beta so if there are errors, I apologize. Let me know and I'll fix them. I was just too excited to wait. Thanks to Kate Pedroso anyway._

**_Disclaimer: All recognizable characters belong to Stephenie Meyer and her Twilight series. Stephenie, I seriously hope I did this part justice._**

* * *

_Eden Cross. Why does that name seem so familiar to me? _That thought had been eating at me ever since Billy had said the name. It was distracting me beyond belief as I dug around in my brain for an answer. 

"Jake?" Emily's insistent voice broke me out of my concentration. She was frowning. "What's wrong? I've been trying to get your attention for a minute here."

Emily, Sam, and Billy were all staring at me. We'd been sitting at the kitchen table for over an hour just talking. Well, they had been talking and I'd been off in a daze for most of it. "Nothing is wrong. I'm just trying to figure something out." It sounded stupid even saying it.

"Well, you're bouncing around in that chair like a toddler. What is it," she asked curiously.

I shook my head and stood up. She was right about the bouncing part. I felt like my heart was racing and I couldn't sit still. "I don't know why but that name, Eden Cross…have we met her before, Dad?"

"Not that I know of," Billy said thoughtfully. "She's Native American but I don't think she's from the Makah reservation. I don't know anyone by the name Cross from there."

"She's not," Emily said while picking apart a cookie. "She is from some reservation in Wisconsin."

I'd been pacing the kitchen and swiveled back to her. "Where do you know her from? You said you met her a few weeks back." This was like trying to solve a puzzle and I was trying to find as many pieces as possible. _Why is this bugging me so much? What does it matter?_

Emily's face flushed at my question and she stumbled for an answer. "Ahh…umm." She looked over at Sam. "I visited the clinic in Port Angeles when I wasn't feeling well and she was a nurse there."

Emily shifted in her chair but it went unnoticed because of the energy coursing through my body. It made me feel like I was going to explode. I went to the cupboard for a glass but when I filled it with water I was enveloped by the fruity scent I had noticed earlier. It was making my head spin. I gulped the water down and pushed away from the counter.

"I've got to go for a walk or something."

"Are you sure you're feeling ok," Sam asked.

"Yeah, I just feel like…I don't know." _How the hell do I describe this without scaring them or making it sound like I'm crazy? _"I'm just a little wired."

"I think we caught that," Billy laughed. He hadn't stopped smiling since he had come home from the hospital. I didn't want to give him anything to worry about.

"I guess I'm just excited to get back home, to normal life." _Liar, this is definitely not normal._ I walked out towards the door and grabbed my shoes. As I sat down to lace them up Sam did the same.

"I think I'm going to go with Jake. I could use some fresh air." He kissed Emily on the head and winked at Billy before we walked out the door.

We didn't get farther than the end of the drive before Sam started in on the questioning. "Ok, seriously, what's going on?"

"Sam…I don't know how to explain it." I took off at a fast walking pace, which quickly turned into a jog.

Sam looked at me questioningly. "Try."

"Ever since we left your house today I've had this weird feeling." I told him of the strange anticipation, the feeling of energy that pumped through me in the house, the oddly appealing scent.

Sam smirked but didn't say anything.

"What are you smiling about?"

"Nothing, just glad you're feeling so…energized." His smirk turned into a wide smile.

"You seriously didn't feel that or smell what I did?" As wolves all our senses were sharpened, increased.

Sam shook his head. "I could sense the energy coming off you after awhile but that was because you were bouncing off your chair. I didn't feel or smell anything different when we came in."

We jogged along in silence. It was starting to frustrate me. _Why didn't he feel it, smell it?_

Sam broke into my thoughts. "Jake, I've got to get back. Emily and I have plans tonight."

I let him lead me back to the house, not really paying attention to where I was going. My mind was racing a million miles an hour, bouncing from wondering why I was feeling this, to frustration because I didn't know what it was from, to why the name Eden Cross seemed so familiar, and then back again. The run hadn't done me any good, I still felt like bursting.

"Sam," I said, as we reached the yard. "I think I'm going to go for a run."

"We just ran."

"No, I mean a _run._" It had been weeks since I had phased and I could definitely burn up more energy that way than in my human form. _I could probably run for a week and not feel tired._

Sam nodded. "Just…be careful. Time is coming up quick on the vamp wedding and I'm still concerned about their visitors. Try to pay attention to your surroundings."

It was the first time my heart didn't flinch when someone mentioned the Bella's wedding. I was too distracted to even notice. "Sure, sure."

"Jake, I mean it. I'll let Billy know where you've gone and that you'll be back before morning at least. Take that as an order. Understood?"

"Yeah. I'll come over tomorrow to work on the arch."

Sam smiled. "If you've got so much energy now maybe I should just have you work on that all night." He winced as I my eyes wandered the forest, the sky, the house, all while bouncing up and down on my toes. "Then again, you'd probably end up accidentally cutting off one of the supports. I'll see you tomorrow."

I was off and running before he had even finished the sentence. I sprinted to the trees, stripping off my shirt and shoes in the process. I had to stop inside the tree line momentarily to strip off my jeans and tie the shorts I was wearing underneath to my leg. Then I was up and moving again.

I ran as fast as I could in my human form, feeling the wind caress my skin, my feet barely touching the forest floor. When it wasn't enough I dove into the air, arms out in front of me like a swimmer after the starting gun goes off.

The split second between human and wolf was like a release. It felt as if a bit of the energy inside me was released into the forest but it wasn't enough to relieve the pressure inside me. I pushed myself as fast as I possibly could and just ran.

* * *

I ran until the sun's morning rays filtered gently through the trees. I'd run farther in that single night than ever before. I had run far north into the forests of Canada before remembering my promise to Sam, my order. I paid more attention to my surroundings and headed back. The energy inside me hadn't been depleted and the feeling of…anticipation… was still there, but I was able to focus more.

I entered the house in just my boxers. I walked in to find Billy sitting at the kitchen table eating breakfast.

"Feel better," he asked before taking in a spoonful of his corn flakes.

"A little bit. Still wired." _And it's still hard to put together complete thoughts. _I walked over to the sink and filled my water glass from the night before. One, two, three times…by the time I was done I'd probably had more than a gallon. I turned around to see Billy smiling at me almost eagerly.

"What?" It was odd. He quickly changed to an innocent expression that I knew was an act. "Did I miss something?"

"Uh, uh," he said, hiding his face in his bowl.

"Uh huh, ok then. I'm going to go take a shower and then head over to Sam's place."

I went to the bedroom and noticed the clothes from the day before were neatly folded on my bed. I smiled and grabbed at the first clothes I could find, a pair of cargo shorts and a ribbed white tank top.

A shower was exactly what I needed right then. My body had been so slicked with sweat that I could feel the layers of it now that it had dried. I jumped in, making the water as cold as I could possibly stand and scrubbed and scrubbed.

I finished getting ready as soon as I could and stopped in the kitchen for something to eat. After bolting down some peanut butter and jelly I called out to Billy. "I'm headed out, I'll see you later."

Billy caught me "Wait, Jake. Are you going to be back this afternoon? I really think you should be here when the home care nurse stops by."

"Sure, sure." Before the door shut I heard him chuckle.

I jumped on my motorcycle and let my rush take me over again, breaking every speed limit on the rez on my way to Sam's place.

It was still early so I didn't bother going into the house. I didn't want to wake anyone if they weren't up already. The shed was empty so I grabbed my tools and safety gear before turning on the stereo. I was using mostly hand tools so I kept the volume low.

It wasn't long after I started that Sam joined me. He was wearing jeans but was shirt and shoeless. "I thought I heard your bike." He yawned and rubbed his eyes. "Did you get any sleep?"

"No, I ran all night and probably would still be if you hadn't ordered me home," I said, going back to my work.

"You look calmer."

"Well, I can focus better if that's what you mean. I'm still wound up."

"Give me a few and I'll come out and join you. Just please be careful with what you're doing, ok?"

I stopped and looked at him. "Do you honestly think I'd let myself ruin this? Trust me, if anything my work will probably be better."

Sam shrugged but smiled. "I'll be back," he said with an accent.

"OK, Arnold." I rolled my eyes.

With Sam there and me in my ultra-focused and energized state, the two of us finished all the carving by early afternoon. We stood back to admire our work.

Sam clapped me on the back. "I can't thank you enough for this, brother."

"I'm just proud to have worked on it for you." I smiled and threw an arm around his shoulders. "All we need to do now is lacquer the thing but we'll need to have the doors and maybe even the windows open for that. How are you going to occupy Emily so that she doesn't come out here?"

His brows furrowed and then he smiled mischeviously. "Hmm. Maybe I'll ask her to just go check on Billy for you? I'll just get a ride from you over there and take her home."

"That'll work but…what's that look for," I asked suspiciously.

"What's what look for?"

I just cocked my head to the side and gave him 'the look'.

"You know that look only works when women do it, right?"

"Yeah, but I had to give it a whirl."

"I'm going to go inside and grab some stuff for lunch. I'll be right back."

* * *

I couldn't help but notice Sam checking his watch every few minutes the later the day got.

"Do you have to be somewhere?"

"No, brother, you do."

I looked at him questioningly before it dawned on me. "Ah, damnit, the home visit. What time is it," I asked as I wiped my hands on a rag.

"About that time. Lets wash up quick and we can get to your place."

We did just that and then both jumped on my bike. We were lucky the thing could handle the weight of both of us but I did drive at a slower pace because of it. Again, that feeling of anticipation came out of nowhere. It seemed to pulse in me with every single heartbeat, which also increased in pace the closer we got to home.

I must have stiffened because Sam asked what was wrong. "Same thing as yesterday, it's that feeling again."

"Ah, well let's get you home," he said smiling.

I parked the cycle in the driveway next to a silver Ford Explorer. It was an older model but in great shape. I admired the thing as I walked past it and Sam walked quickly ahead of me and into the house. _What's his hurry?_

I walked in the door and I was hit by a wall of scent. That fruity smell permeated every molecule in the air and my heart started beating like a hummingbird's wings. _If I was full human I'd have had a heart attack by now,_ I thought. _What the HELL is going on?_

I heard voices from the kitchen, then laughter so light and sweet it was music to my ears. My feet started moving towards it automatically, as if pulled against their will. My heart was fluttering, my lungs breathing erratically in and out. And all of that stopped the second I walked into the kitchen and saw the most beautiful creature the earth had ever held.

She looked right into my eyes and it was like I'd been hit in the gut. My eyes widened, the air whooshed out of my lungs, and my heart seemed to stop for that one split second. The energy that had been surging through me broke out and spread through the room to her. So quickly that later I wasn't completely sure I hadn't imagined it, it seemed like that energy created a thread in the air that connected her body to mine.

Time seemed to have frozen, if only in my eyes, so that I noticed every detail about her. She was tall enough that her head would reach my chin if I held her in my arms, which even now I longed to do. Her build was athletic, apparent even with her scrubs on. Her hair was raven black and sleek, pulled into a long, thick braid behind her head. A wisp had fallen into her face and oh, how I wanted to reach out and tuck it behind her ear. Her eyes were large and bright, highlighted by thick black lashes. They were an emerald green so deep I knew I could lose myself in them. Her lips were turned up in a smile, seductive and tempting. All of that was surrounded by the smoothest looking skin I'd ever seen, tanned by her heritage.

My body was not my own, still being pulled towards her. And then, as if someone had pushed play on a paused movie, time began to move again. I sucked in deep breaths, those of a drowning man, and pressed a hand to my heart as it thumped hard in chest. I leaned over, supporting myself with a chair, even as I continued to look into her eyes. She seemed frozen as well, not pulling her attention from me.

"Jacob…Jacob….Jacob." I heard my name being called as if from the bottom of a well. I broke my eyes away from the woman in front of me to the person shaking me. Emily was asking if I was alright but my tongue and my brain weren't connected and working properly.

Then out of nowhere I heard Sam yell. "Eden!"

I quickly turned around in time to see Eden, white as a sheet, start to fall. Her eyes were still on me as her knees gave out.

* * *

**_A/D: Ok, before anyone starts ripping on me for the imprinting and how it happens just remember that this is subjective. SM never gave a direct description of an actual imprinting so I just wrote it as I could. "She never said it had anything to do with energy, he just has to see her." Oh well, this worked for me and it seemed right. I just hope that I captured the whole experience well, since I'm sure it is emotional. _**

**_What do you think? I think there might be a few questions about this chapter. Review or PM and let me know._**


	22. Fear

_I'm going to have to apologize to my beta, Kate Pedroso, for bypassing her these last few chapters but I've been so excited to put up what I've written that I haven't been able to help myself. You, my readers, are amazing. I got so much imput from my last chapter that it made me smile for days. I'm so glad that his imprinting went over well with all of you. So...the story continues. _

**_Disclaimer: All recognizable characters belong to Stephenie Meyer and her wonderful Twilight series. Stephenie, I hope I did Jacob justice._**

* * *

I rushed forward and caught her before she hit the floor, cradling her in my arms. Her eyes were only closed for a second and then they flew open. She reached out to right herself and tried to stand. I didn't want to, but I let her go and then took a step back toward the doorway, giving her space. My skin was tingling where it had touched hers.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm so embarrassed," Eden said, her voice soft and sweet.

"Are you ok," Billy asked.

"Yes, it just got really warm in here all of a sudden," she said self-consciously. Her cheeks tinged pink and she put her hands to them, trying to hide it. Under her breath I heard her mutter, "I think I forgot to breathe."

"Well, it's a small kitchen. With all five of us in here, including two big guys, it doesn't take much to warm up quick. It happens," Emily said with a smile. She raised an eyebrow. "I think I've done it once too."

Eden nodded. She had regained her composure and smoothed her hair. "Well Mr. Black, I think we're done for the day."

He held up a hand. "Please, call me Billy."

"Alright then, Billy. Just remember to keep your dressing clean and stay off of that leg. I will be back tomorrow but if you need anything in the meantime just call our nurse line. Ok?"

All I could do was stare at her while she talked. She kept peeking at me out of the corner of her eye as she packed up her tools and put the rest of the supplies in a bag. When she took that bag to the bathroom I felt like I wanted to follow her. Sam laid a restraining hand on my shoulder and chuckled.

Eden returned and grabbed her bag of tools. "It was nice meeting all of you, except…" She turned towards me and extended her hand. "I don't think we've been introduced. I'm Eden Cross."

When I didn't immediately respond Billy spoke up, a smile stretched from ear to ear. "I'm sorry, Eden. Where are my manners? This is my son, Jacob."

When I continued to be silent Sam nudged me in the ribs and I automatically extended my hand and enveloped her small one within it. I willed myself to speak because the voice inside me was yelling for me to say something. "Hi." It was the best that I could manage at that point and it came out much deeper than normal. It seemed like my mouth had dried up.

Her breath hitched but she smiled. "It's very nice to meet you, Jacob." She let go and I had no choice but to do the same.

She waved to everyone, turned and left. I went to the window and watched her climb into her SUV and sit behind the wheel for a minute before pulling out of the driveway and down the road. All of a sudden it was like my mind and body were working together as one again and I plopped down in one of the kitchen chairs.

I looked at Billy, Sam, and Emily. "What the hell just happened?"

They all laughed. "You're a smart man, Jake. What do you think just happened," Sam asked.

I leaned my arms on the table and looked down. "Is it what I think it is?"

"Yup."

I buried my face in my arms on the table, not sure if I should be angry or happy. I suddenly felt exhausted, all the energy from the previous day was gone. "You all knew what was going to happen didn't you?"

"Sam did and he filled Emily and me in on it," Billy said happily. "Apparently, your craziness last night tipped him off."

My head popped up, looking at all of them. "You could have at least warned me," I accused. "Instead I stood here looking like an open-mouthed idiot."

"I asked him not to," Billy said.

I stared at him incredulously. "Why would you do something like that?"

"Because I thought if you knew what might happen, you wouldn't come home, that you wouldn't want to meet her. I know how you feel about imprinting, especially lately and I didn't want you to miss this chance at happiness, Jake."

I couldn't argue with that. If they had told me what would happen in Eden's presence, I'm not sure if I would have come home to meet her. _Now what am I going to do?_

"Jake, are you ok?" Emily sounded concerned. "Are you…unhappy about this?"

I paused."I didn't have any control over it, Emily. How am I supposed to feel about that?"

When no one said anything I got up and headed towards my room.

"Where you going," Billy asked.

"I'm going to go lay down for a bit." I felt drained and just wanted to get away from their happy faces for awhile. I closed the door to my room and flopped down on the bed, fully clothed. I tried to push away the thoughts screaming in my head and fell asleep.

* * *

I slept through the night, a deep dreamless sleep. Bright light was filtering through my window. A quick glance at the clock told me that it was late morning and that I had slept for more than twelve hours. I groaned and turned over on my stomach. I wasn't tired anymore but I didn't want to get up either. I knew what was waiting for me outside the door to my room…_Reality._

I knew I couldn't hide out in my room forever though, my brothers would never allow that. I grabbed some clothes and went to the bathroom to shower. I took my time, letting the warm water wash over me. However, the longer I stood in the shower, the louder the thoughts in my head became. _I have to find something to do to distract me. _I dried and dressed, unconsciously taking an extra second to look over myself in the mirror.

I could hear the TV on in the living room and found both Embry and Quil waiting for me. I stopped short, knowing they weren't here just to hang out.

"Hey guys, what's up," I asked wearily.

Quil just kept his mouth shut, looking to Embry to answer. "Not a whole lot. Just came by to hang out."

I gave him a look that said 'liar'. He rolled his eyes. "Ok, ok," he said cautiously. "Sam told us you might need to talk or something."

"Did he tell you what I might need to talk about?" My brows furrowed, it wasn't like Sam to share this kind of news.

This time it was Quil who answered. "No, but we figured it was something pretty heavy considering the look on his face."

I nodded and sat down. "Where's Billy?"

"Charlie came by. They are going to go out fishing."

I frowned. "The nurse will be by this afternoon, did he say when he'd be home?" My heart fluttered at the thought of seeing Eden again.

"No, but I'm sure he wouldn't blow it off," Embry said.

Quil perked up. "Ohhh, so tell us about the nurse. We had a bet, remember," he said, smiling at Embry. He looked back at me expectantly. "So…?"

I shifted in my seat. "Quil is up ten bucks." Embry immediately groaned.

"Sweeeeet," he said, jumping to his feet to taunt Embry. "Pay up, bro."

While he dug out his wallet, Embry continued. "So, what's she like?"

"I don't want to talk about it." Without realizing it I started fidgeting.

Quil and Embry looked at each other in confusion. "Something wrong," Quil asked.

"Or is she just so hot you want to keep her to yourself," Embry joked. When I growled loudly at the question, at them, they both looked really confused. "What the hell…"

My reaction to his comment was so unexpected that I felt ashamed of myself. These were my best friends but I couldn't help feeling protective and territorial. "I'm sorry. It's just…" I wasn't sure I was ready to tell them but I knew they'd find out sooner or later. I took a deep breath and slowly let it out. "I imprinted."

I hadn't been looking at them when I said it so when there was no response I turned to look at them. Both wore masks of shock and Quil's mouth was hanging open.

"On the nurse," Embry asked in awe.

I nodded and Quil snapped out of his state. "Awesome! A nurse, that's hot." I couldn't help but laugh once before shaking my head and returning to my gloomy mood.

"Wait, wait. I'm confused," Embry said. "You just imprinted and you're acting all miserable. What the deal with that?"

I pushed up off the couch and started pacing, my usual habit when there was a lot on my mind or if I was nervous. "How should I feel about it? Tell me, please, because I don't know." I looked to Quil. "How did you feel about it when it happened?"

Quil looked thoughtful for a minute. "It was unexpected but I couldn't fight it. Honestly, I didn't want to and I know that I'll never ever regret it happening. It felt amazing that there was a huge question in my life that was answered. But then again, I didn't have all the angst going on in my life that you've had."

I nodded, thankful that part of him understood that it wasn't something I could completely accept right off the bat.

Embry didn't have that point of view to see from. "Don't you want it," he asked quietly.

I laughed once, harshly, and then shrugged. "What was wrong with what I had? Why couldn't this have happened sooner, with a person that I loved of my own will first? Why now?"

"Why not now?" Embry stood and came over to me. He put both hands on my shoulders and looked me right in the eye. "Maybe now is the best time for this to happen, Jake. Maybe she can help heal your heart, help you move on."

For some reason I reacted to that two-fold. A small part of me wanted his statement to be true, for Eden to be able to accept me and heal me, to move on in life and just be happy. The larger part of me couldn't let go of the anger at it all. "And what happens if she doesn't choose to be with me? Did you forget? She has a choice in it all, Embry." I was nearly yelling now. I threw Embry's hands off and stared out the window. "What if I'm not enough?"

"Are you crazy," Quil said, standing to join us. "You were made for each other, Jake. You're perfect for her, as she is for you."

All the thoughts that had been jumbled in my mind became clear and my resentment flowed. All my frustration in the matter peaking in front of my two best friends. I started to pace again. "I was perfect for Bella too. She knew it, I knew it, and it still didn't matter. She still left me. What makes this any different? Eden could choose not to be with me and then what would I do?"

The thought made me sick, it was the fear of rejection. _I don't think I could handle that…again. _A knot built itself up in my stomach and I could feel the bile rise in my throat.

Embry looked at me for a moment like he was not sure he should say what was on his mind. He started slowly. "Jake…I'm going to say something and you may not take it right at first but please hear me out." I steeled myself against it and nodded. "Maybe it's a good thing that Bella chose what she did."

I stopped in my tracks, beyond shocked. My eyes went wide with wonder of how my friend could say such a hurtful thing. He waved his hands in the air. "No, no. See I told you to listen. If Bella had chosen you and you ended up meeting Eden…imprinting… where would _she_ be? She'd be in hell, just like Leah was and you saw what happened when that leech left her."

A picture of Bella entered my mind. It was the memory of how she looked that first day she came to visit after Edward had left. She had been broken, barely holding herself together from the hurt. Then came my memory of how she left me when she chose Edward. It felt like a good chunk of my heart tore again, just at the memory.

_I wouldn't have wanted her to go through that._ My shoulders fell and I sat down hard on the couch. It cracked under my weight but I didn't care. I simply laid my head in my hands.

"If you'd imprinted, you'd have left her. She might have had the leech in the background of it all, but you know Bella. Part of her would never let go of the guilt of choosing you over him and then going back to him afterwards. It would eat at her and she would never be happy, and you wouldn't be happy that you left her. And the leech wouldn't be happy because he was second fiddle." He chuckled at that last part. We all did.

"Maybe this is fate's way of making you all happy in the end," Quil said gently.

"I….I don't know if I'm ready for this right now." My hands shook as I said it and I could feel the tears well up in my eyes. I hung my head, embarrassed.

Quil sat on my right, Embry perched on the arm of the couch on my left side. Each of them laid a hand on my shoulder in support.

"I can't believe that you would be given this now, just to have it taken away," Embry said softly. "Just take it slow, Jake, for both your sakes. It will work out."

"What if...what if it doesn't come down to some 'happily ever after'?"

Embry gave a one-sided grin. "You won't know unless you try. Love is always a leap of faith, buddy. Or so I'm told."

* * *

**_Please leave a review if you have time. I wouldn't mind hearing if you guys have something to add to my story._**


	23. Leap of Faith

_I have to apologize over and over to you guys for this taking so long. December was an absolutely horrid month at work. I felt like I lived there. I finally wrote this chapter, completely rewrote it, and then edited it so it took a little longer to get out. I swear I will not abandon this story. I will keep writing until it comes to it's end, which is still MANY chapters away. Thank you to my beta, Kate Pedroso, for getting this edited so quickly. Enjoy!_

**_Disclaimer: All recognizable characters belong to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer and her Twilight series. I hope I did Jacob justice._**

* * *

Embry and Quil left shortly after our conversation. My mind was spinning circles so I wasn't the best company. I knew I wanted to be there when Eden came around again that afternoon but I couldn't stand being cooped up in the house just pacing in anticipation.

The day was overcast but rays of sun were peaking through the clouds. The air was very warm and heavy with moisture. With closed eyes I took a deep breath and it calmed me.

I knew it was going to rain sooner or later that day but I got out my bike anyway. Riding was almost as exhilarating as running as a wolf, but I liked the fact that I could do this in my human form.

I swung my leg over the bike and kicked it to life. I reveled in the growl of the motor, the vibration beneath me. It was like a restrained animal and I had all the power in the world to release it as I pleased. I could concentrate on the ride and in controlling the beast beneath me.

I tore away from the house with no particular destination in mind. I drove the back roads for awhile before pulling onto the highway, where I could drive faster. I liked to push the machine to the limits.

The speedometer on the bike was hovering around 80 mph on an open part of the highway. I'd loved to have pushed it faster but since Charlie wasn't on duty I wasn't completely sure I could talk my way out of a ticket.

I had just rounded a corner when I met that old familiar red truck. I was going too fast to get a look at who was behind the wheel. It was a good bet though that none of the vampires would drive that slow piece of steel. Either way, I wasn't about to turn around and go after it. I was still mad at Bella.

That didn't stop me from taking a peek in my mirror. The rear brake lights went bright just as she started around the corner and all of a sudden the rear of the truck fishtailed wildly.

When I had driven past that corner I had noticed that there was gravel spilled from the shoulder on the opposite side of the road_. She must have hit it just right._ I braked hard and swung the bike around easily. I watched as Bella went off the road and into the ditch. She had slowed enough that the truck didn't look as if it would roll but she had nudged a tree pretty hard by the time she actually stopped.

I was mad at her but that didn't mean I didn't still care. I felt my heart skip in panic when she didn't get out of the truck right away.

I rode quickly to the corner and stopped at the edge of the road. "Bella! Bella, are you ok?"

I jumped off the bike and into the ditch. I could hear a small moan as I strode to her door and flung it open. Bella's face was turned towards me and her eyes were closed but she was conscious, swearing softly once under her breath. She had a hand to her forehead and I could see a tiny stream of red flowing down to her cheek.

"Damn it, Bella. Are you trying to kill yourself?" I was definitely relieved that she was alright but now that I knew she was some of the anger I'd felt towards her was seeping out.

She groaned again but her lips turned up at the corners. "You should know by now, Jake, that I never _try_. Accidents just always seem to happen. Danger magnet, remember?"

She pulled her hand away from her head to see that it was bleeding. She went white as a sheet and groaned again, slumping in her seat.

"The blood?" She nodded and I laughed once, rolling my eyes. At this point I had little compassion for her situation. "You realize this is going to be your food source in a few short months…weeks, whatever. You should probably start getting used to it."

Bella scowled and tried to push me out of the way so she could get out of the vehicle. She should have known it was futile. I took her head in my hands and turned it back and forth to look for further injuries, refusing to let her swat my hands away. Her skin was split was above her right eye, just under the brow, and it was starting to swell.

"I'm fine," she said, still trying to get past me. "Let me out of the truck."

I ignored her and continued my examination. "Must have hit your head on the steering wheel. You're going to need some stitches and you're already bruising. Better put your hand back on that."

I offered her the handkerchief out of my pocket. She took it and scowled again as she lifted her hand back to the cut. "Since when did you get all bossy?"

"You mean since when did I stop pouring over you with concern? Sorry, I'm fresh out of it at the moment. I'm sure the leeches have plenty to cover my portion," I said sarcastically. "And I'm sure your _boyfriend_ will be here any second to do just that."

She flinched at my words and I could see that her eyes were shining with tears. I could what I said had hurt her but my regret over what I said was overshadowed by my continuing anger.

She slid down the side of the truck and sat with her back against the rear tire. "Edward is away hunting with Carlisle, Emmett, and Rosalie."

The next words were out of my mouth before I even realized I had said them. "Oh, poor baby, how _will_ you survive?"

Her head whipped around, fury flashing amongst the tears. "What the hell is your problem? I didn't ask you to stop for me."

The tears were now overflowing and I could feel my resolve start to crack so I turned around, popped the hood, and went to the front of the vehicle. "I'll take a look to see if there is any damage."

I knew that the truck was like a tank so I wasn't too concerned. There was only a small dent in the bumper and hood. The engine itself didn't look as if it sustained any damage.

"Try to start it," I ordered.

I could hear her get up and move to the open door. "Why have you gotten so cold, Jake?" Her voice was still thick with tears and the sadness blatantly apparent.

"Still nice and toasty, Bella," I said, knowing perfectly well she didn't mean my body temperature.

I heard the sound of another engine pull up as the truck's churned loudly to life.

"Bella? Bella, are you alright," I heard an alarmed female voice ask.

The concern in her voice over this little accident sounded absolutely absurd compared to what was in store for Bella. Disgust washed over me and I took an extra second before I dropped the hood back down. Alice was standing next to Bella and Jasper stood at the side of the road, next to Edward's Volvo.

"I'm fine, I'm fine," Bella said.

"It's good that this thing is practically indestructible," Alice said, pointing to the truck in relief. Then she started in on her scolding. "I would have thought your driving skills were a little better than that. You had me thinking you were dead for the second time in the last few months."

"What do you mean? You should have seen that I was just fine." She sat down on the driver's seat, facing the open door.

"You seem to forget how this works," Alice said.

"She didn't see that you were ok because I stopped," I said, reminding Bella. I circled around the vehicle, towards my bike, putting plenty of distance between myself and the vampires.

"You must have bumped your head pretty hard," Alice said with worry. "You usually pick up on this kind of thing a little faster. I saw you hit the tree and then your future disappeared. It took us a little while to find you."

"I'm sorry, Alice…," Bella started and then shot straight up in her seat. "Please tell me you didn't call Edward."

Alice put her hands reassuringly on Bella's shoulders. "No, no, no. I learned my lesson the first time around. He's going to be mad enough as it is that you've been hurt. Now, let's get you home."

Knowing that they could easily pull her out of the ditch, I swung onto my bike without another word. The first kick failed to start the bike but it brought Bella's attention back to me.

"Jake! Wait…," Bella called as she walked my way, looking back towards Alice. "Give me a second."

Alice nodded and when Bella turned around she waved Jasper down so the two of them could decide how best to get the truck out of the ditch.

Bella climbed up the small hill and almost fell near the gravel shoulder. I instinctively reached out and caught her with one arm.

"Thanks," she said sheepishly.

"What is it, Bella. I've got to get back to the rez." _Eden will be there soon_. My heart even skipped a beat at the thought.

"Can I stop by tonight?"

I did a double-take in surprise. "What for?"

"I'm going to be…leaving soon and I don't want our friendship to be like _this,_" she said, gesturing to something invisible between us. She looked at the ground and continued very softly. "Especially since we may never see each other again after I leave Forks."

I sighed. She was right, I didn't want to end whatever relationship we had this way. "See if you can have someone drop you off at the border. I'll pick you up and we can have lunch."

Bella let out the breath she must have been holding and smiled. "That sounds great." She hesitated and then threw her arms around me in a hug. "Thanks for stopping, Jake."

I couldn't help myself and I hugged her back. "You make it hard to be mad at you." I gently pulled back and nudged her towards the Volvo parked behind me. "Get going, I'll see you tomorrow."

I kicked the bike to life and shifted it into gear. As I roared away I pushed the bike to it's limit, no longer worried about a ticket.

* * *

I had been gone for hours and Billy and Charlie were back by the time I returned home. They spent the next hour telling me about the adventure they'd had that day while the three of us scaled the fish they'd caught.

"…and then Billy almost fell out of the boat," Charlie said before slapping his knee and laughing heartily.

"Dad, you should be more careful."

Billy was amused at my scolding. "Relax, Jake. He's exaggerating. I was nowhere near falling out of the boat."

"Even if you did, you have your own nurse now to take care of you," Charlie joked.

Billy nodded. "Which reminds me, she'll be here any minute so I should probably get cleaned up. Why don't you stay for dinner tonight, Charlie? I'm sure Bella wouldn't mind."

"I'd love to. Bella is staying over at the Cullen's with Alice so I was just going to order pizza tonight."

"Ok then, why don't you go see if you can find a game on while I get washed up."

We all headed into the house. Charlie washed his hands in the kitchen sink while Billy headed to the bathroom. I set out enough fish for dinner and put it in the fridge, then bagged the rest to freeze.

Charlie and Billy settled themselves in front of the TV while waiting for Eden. I went to the bathroom and scrubbed and scrubbed my hands and forearms so that I wouldn't smell like fish. When that wasn't enough I changed my clothes and put on cologne.

I sat down in the recliner in the living room and, after a moment of silence, found that both Billy and Charlie were staring at me with smiles on their face.

"What?"

"Nothing," Billy said. "You just smell nice." He and Charlie chuckled and then went back to watching TV. I just smiled and shook my head.

* * *

An hour later we were still waiting on Eden and I was getting impatient just listening to Charlie and Billy discuss which baseball team had the most potential for the World Series.

"Jake, do you mind," Billy said. "You're going to punch a hole in the floor with your foot soon if you don't knock it off."

"Sorry," I said, just as a vehicle pulled up into our drive.

I jumped up to see Eden's SUV in our driveway. She sat there for a moment, her lips moving as if she was talking to herself, and then climbed out with her bag in tow. She made her way up the walk and knocked on the door.

"I'll get it," I said, with just a little too much enthusiasm. It sent Charlie and Billy back into chuckles. I had to restrain myself not to run to the door and once I reached it I took a deep breath to calm myself.

Eden was standing on the porch, looking at her shoes and twiddling her thumbs. She looked up at me as the door opened and her beautiful lips stretched wide into a smile. Her hair was pulled back into the same dark, smooth braid as when I first met her. She was wearing red scrub pants and a white scrub top, trimmed in red with heart outlines in red, pink, and black. Her white tote bag was slung over her shoulder.

"Hi, Jake," she said, her emerald eyes sparkling.

"Hey, Eden," I said. Again my voice seemed thick and deep. Embarrassed, I cleared my throat. "Come on in."

I moved back so that she could enter and her scent as she walked by me made my stomach muscles clench and my mouth go dry. I closed my eyes. Her eyes, her scent, her walk…her very presence made me feel something I'd never felt with any other woman so I couldn't quite define what it was.

Billy met us in the hallway. "Hey there, we were starting to wonder if you'd forgotten about us." He smiled and led Eden into the kitchen and I leaned against the wall.

She set her bag on the table. "I don't think that would be possible," she said, quickly flicking a glance in my direction before turning back to Billy. "I'm sorry that I'm a little late, my truck is acting up."

She turned towards the table and started removing her supplies from the bag. Billy gave me a silent look. I could practically read his mind. _'Ask her about her vehicle you idiot!'_

"Uh…wha… what's it doing," I asked. After I got it out I wanted to bang my head on the wall. I couldn't speak clearly in front of her without stuttering!

She shrugged and turned around. "Hmmm…it's making this weird buzzing type noise and it smells funny. I'm going to have to take it in for someone to look at it."

"I could take a look at it for you," I blurted out.

She gave me a contemplative look before answering. "I don't know…"

Charlie walked into the room. "He's great with vehicles. Heck, if Jake had his own business I'd be one of his best customers." He introduced himself as the sheriff, giving his opinion more credit.

She bit her bottom lip and I almost melted into a puddle at her feet. "Well….as long as I'm here I guess it might not be a bad idea."

She dug the keys out her pocket and held out her hand. I reached forward and plucked them from her palm. My skin barely grazed hers but the small contact between us was electric. My muscles went tense and she caught her breath.

I looked into her eyes and that moment seemed to go on forever until Billy cleared his throat. "Why don't you get to that, Jake."

I nodded and headed out the door. The air was thick with moisture and it was starting to drizzle. I took a deep breath and smiled. _At least I finished a complete sentence this time. _

I climbed into her SUV. It was neat and tidy. There was a travel mug in the cup holder next to the driver's seat and large blanket in the backseat. The vehicle smelled of Eden, her scent infused into every service. My blood started to simmer with lust and I had to roll down the window to clear the haze it put me in.

I turned the key in the ignition and drove it down the road a few blocks so I could get a sense of what Eden had heard, smelled. Right away I could tell that it was probably a belt that needed to be replaced and that she needed her oil changed.

I pulled her vehicle back towards my little garage so that it was out of the rain. I popped the hood, turned on my radio and cranked the volume up. I took a thorough look at her engine and the other components. She was going to need a new belt but it would be safe to drive with for now. I checked her dipstick and her oil was indeed very low. That, at least, I could do right then. I wasn't exactly dressed to work on a vehicle so I took off my shirt and stuffed a greasy towel in my back pocket before getting to work.

I sang along with the music, as I usually did. It felt good to be doing something useful again. I hadn't done much with cars since changing Emily's oil the month prior. It didn't take me long to finish. I pulled myself out from under and stood, still singing along with the radio. I set my tools aside and wiped my hands off on the towel in my pocket before reaching for a can of soda from the ever-present paper bag.

"I like that song," a sweet voice said from behind me.

I twisted around so fast that I dropped the soda. Eden was sitting on my car, on the opposite side of the SUV. Her legs were dangling down the hood and she was leaning forward on both her hands. I must have been so wrapped up in what I was doing and had the music so loud that I hadn't heard her come in.

"Damn, you almost gave me a heart attack," I said. _It wouldn't have been the first time._ I looked at her carefully. I hadn't been alone with her before and now that I was I didn't know what to do, what to say.

"Well, better me than someone else, right?" She said this with a big smile and popped up off the car. She gestured towards her own vehicle. "So, what's the verdict?"

I looked at the truck, went over and dropped the hood. "You're going to need a new belt but that won't be hard to come by. You'll make it home safely tonight." It was easier to speak if I wasn't looking directly at her.

When I turned back around I caught her staring at my bare chest. She was breathing deeply, her chest moving up and down slowly. I cleared my throat and she looked up at me. Her cheeks tinged red at being caught. _And it's damn sexy on her._ It made me want to sweep her off her feet and kiss those warm cheeks, taste that luscious mouth.

"Sorry," she said, embarrassed but the attraction I detected in her eyes was still smoldering.

"No problem," I said. I grabbed my shirt from the peg on the wall and pulled it on. Hopefully, it would make things easier for both of us.

"Umm, so if it is a belt that needs to be fixed, why were you under the truck?"

"Your oil was really low, so I changed it," I said, nonchalantly.

Eden cocked her head to the side and smiled, moving to stand next to me. "You really didn't need to do that."

"I was here, you were occupied, so why not," I shrugged. Besides, I liked that I was able to do something for her.

"I appreciate that." She started rummaging around in her tote, pulling out her wallet. "How much do I owe you?"

I waved her away. "On the house. And if you're coming back tomorrow I can get that belt and replace it for you."

She shook her head. "I can't do that, Jake. I appreciate it but, really, I can take it in to a mechanic."

"You're going to be here anyway, why not just let me do it? Trust me, I have plenty of experience."

"I believe you…and the service is definitely better," she said slyly. She looked at me for a moment. "Ok, tomorrow then. How much is this going to cost?"

When I told her she smiled. "That's decent. I expected it to be more. How much are you charging for labor?"

It was my turn to smile. "Nothing."

She shook her head, "Jake, I can't…"

I held up a hand to stop her. I decided to take a chance. "Ok. I have a way you can pay me but it isn't in cash."

Now it was her turn to look wary. "I'm afraid to ask."

I laughed. It was getting easier and easier to be around her. "I was thinking that I'd like to ask you to have dinner with me sometime." _There, I took the leap. Please say yes…_

She had a sort of tortured look on her face. "I'd love to, really…" _Here comes the rejection. _"But I can't right now."

I nodded. _At least I tried. _I must have looked pretty disappointed because she shook her head and put her hand on my arm. "No, Jake, it's not that I don't want to. I can't while I'm working with your father. It's unethical," she explained.

The skin of her hand was so soft against my arm that it felt like warm satin. The nerves there were buzzing from the contact. _There's still a chance_, I could hear Embry's voice in my head so I decided to try again. "How about after you're finished working with my dad?"

She paused for a second before looking back up at me. A small sweet half-smile lit up her face though it was still serious. "You make it hard for a girl to say no. I'd love to."

I was doing my 'happy dance' in my head and my heart was soaring. I couldn't restrain a huge smile from covering my face. "Sweet….uh, any idea when that might be?"

She laughed and the tingling sensation it caused was like fingers down my spine. "Soon. He should only need help with wound care for about another week. Then he'll be able to just go in for follow-up visits." Eden walked around her SUV and opened the door.

"Ok then, today is Thursday. How about next Saturday?" I felt confident to push the issue a little now that I knew she was interested.

She climbed in and looked at me through the windshield. "Next Saturday it is," she said, with a very sexy smile. She shut the door and gave her fingers a little wave before she pulled out


	24. Honesty

_Here it is...a few days later than I expected. I apologize for that but it's cold and flu season. A HUGE heartfelt thank you to both Kate Pedroso (now named Endlessly Drowning) and Heartbroken1 for all their input on this chapter. I apologize to the 20 or so readers who read this originally. It was a horrible mess and I hope that you enjoy this version more. I had to change so much that it's basically a brand new chapter. Let me know what you think._

**_Disclaimer: You've heard it all before, Stephenie is the god in Twilight world and I'm just a minion._**

* * *

My heart had been beating so hard when I went out on a limb and asked Eden to dinner. It had been spontaneous, and as soon as I asked I realized how badly I was hoping, needing her to say yes. When she did my whole body threatened to jump right out of my skin. I thought for sure, I'd be able to fly. 

The rest of the evening was spent reliving what had happened in those few minutes I'd spoken to her. Embry called and tried to give me a hard time, but even his childish teasing couldn't get me down.

Billy laughed at me too."Jake, if you don't stop smiling you're face is going to freeze that way." I snorted a sarcastic laugh and headed off to my room for what I knew would be a restless night's sleep.

The next morning, I woke up with the same stupid grin on my face. I felt like a complete moron, but I couldn't help the way my heart pounded whenever I thought of _her_, my imprint.

I hurried to answer the ringing phone. "Yeah."

I was surprised to hear Bella's voice saying that she'd be bringing lunch. My mind raced, searching for answers. _Right, lunch with Bella. _My heart dropped to my toes and a small shadow clouded my day. "Um, yeah, that'll be great. See you then."

My shoulders sagged. Part of me knew that we had to get together to salvage what was left of our friendship before she we went our separate ways. The other part of me didn't want to go.

I wasn't sure if that was because I was reluctant to let Bella go, or because I had Eden now. I just…didn't want to feel bad anymore, and it always seemed to happen when I was around Bella lately.

_Then don't go. Just call her back and tell her you're busy_.

But I couldn't do that. I'd never lied to Bella, and I wasn't going to start at the end. _Fine, you're just going to have to deal with it then…besides, Eden will be back this afternoon._

My heart jumped at the thought and warmth spread through my body, while that same goofy smile lit up my face. As long as I could keep reminding myself of what I was looking forward to, if I could picture her face in my mind, I found that that same feeling would come back time and time again.

I climbed onto my beloved motorcycle, thinking Bella might enjoy a ride, and arrived at the border early. I cut the engine before kicking out the stand and swung one leg over, leaning against the bike.

Staring at the trees, I remembered all we'd gone through. Seeing Bella pull up in front of my place, asking me to help her with the bikes, teaching her to ride, turning into a wolf, protecting her, falling in love, and then watching it all go down hill…it felt weird to look back on that now. It was like watching the last six months play out like a movie in my mind; but it didn't hurt as much now. It all seemed like a lifetime ago; a different person's lifetime. Now all I saw was what the future might hold for me.

In the middle of my reminiscing, I heard the sound of a high pitched engine. The whine of it didn't catch my attention right away, but the scent of a vampire that came along with it did. I knew before turning around that it wasn't the Volvo.

I twisted my head to the side and stared in disbelief, keeping my face a mask of composure while irritation seeped from every pore in my body. I returned my gaze to the trees in front of me, refusing to look at the pair on the other side of the border.

_You just couldn't help yourself, could you?_

It was Edward and Bella, just like I'd expected. It was their transportation that was a surprise. Edward had pulled up on a huge, glossy black crotch rocket. Bella was behind him in her riding jacket and helmet, her arms wrapped tightly around his torso. I clenched my teeth as my hands flexed into fists and relaxed again. For a split second I considered walking over and telling her to just forget today, to go back home.

_Riding was OUR thing…stupid, conniving bloodsucker!_

I refused to look back in their direction, crossing my arms over my chest, feeling the muscles there tightening as well. I couldn't help but hear them saying their goodbyes. It was kind of like listening to my parents say goodbye when I was really little. It was so sickeningly sappy that it made my stomach go sour, and I felt like I wanted to puke; but it didn't hurt like I had expected it to, like it always had.

Then it hit me, I was irritated over the damn motorcycle more than Bella being with a vampire. _Huh, that's new. _But I forced myself not to dwell on it, I'd have time to do that later.

Knowing Edward could hear everything going on in my head, and that he wouldn't respond directly, I continued with my silent assault. _Could you be any more pathetic? You make it sound like she's not coming back for days. Trust me, it won't be long before she'll be back in your cold, dead arms. _

A loud roar from his engine and a squeal of tires was his only response as he raced away, before Bella had even reached me.

"What did you say to him?" she asked, frowning. "I thought you guys had gotten past this stuff."

"Dream on," I said, looking directly into her eyes, my face still hard. I tilted my head to the side. "Nice ride."

She blushed, which made her black eye appear even darker against her snowy white bandage, and looked at the ground. "He bought it a few months back. This is the first time we've ridden it." It almost sounded like she was trying to apologize without actually saying the words.

"Why today?" _Of all days, why today? _I felt a bit insulted.

"Carlisle didn't want me to drive after yesterday's accident, and it's so nice out. Edward thought it would be a good day for…he knows I miss it…the riding, I mean." She looked back at me, her eyes pleading for some kind of understanding.

"You've got your own bike, you know? You can have it back anytime you want."

A pained expression crossed her face. "It's not the same, Jake."

"What's not the same?" I asked, confused.

"It wouldn't be the same, riding with them. They're all speed freaks. You know Edward. He'd be hovering, making sure I didn't go splat on the concrete. I didn't have to worry about that with you." She smiled at her own humor.

I snorted once. "Yeah, I did let you 'go splat' once or twice, didn't I?" I softened a bit. "I haven't gone anywhere, Bella. Anytime you want to go for a ride, you know where to find me."

"You don't seem like you want to see me too much anymore." She looked back at the ground.

I sighed, all the irritation leaving me. I couldn't stand to hear or see her cry. It was a weakness of mine. I pulled her to me, giving her a light, friendly hug. That's when I realized she was wearing a backpack.

"My lunch better be in there, or you're in trouble," I said, patting the backpack. "I'm starving."

Bella's face broke into a slow, one-sided smile. "You're always hungry."

"Come on, let's get going." I swung over the bike and waited for her to climb up behind me before kick starting the engine. When it roared to life, I revved the engine. "At least mine's a classic."

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I pulled off the side of the road, near where we'd gone for Bella's riding lessons. "I figured we'd have lunch on the cliff if that's alright with you."

She took off her riding jacket, threw it over the bike, and placed the helmet on top. She was wearing a white cap sleeved t shirt and denim shorts with tennis shoes. She looked great, but I didn't feel that same pull to her that I'd felt in the past.

_What a difference a few days can make._

"Sure, as long as you aren't planning to throw me off it," Bella joked. She bent over to shake out her ponytail and I realized that only a few weeks ago, it would have sent my heart into convulsions. But now, I was fine.

Part of me was relieved. I'd survive Bella leaving. I'd go on with my life. Knowing that would make it a little easier to say goodbye.

"If I remember correctly, you save your cliff diving for when there's a monsoon." I made a big production of looking at the skies. "No storm in sight."

It was in the eighties today with cool breezes coming off the water. It was cloudy, but rays of warm sunshine passed through here and there.

The previous comment earned me a little punch to the arm. "Hey, you better be careful. Wouldn't want you to break your hand again right before your wedding. Alice would track me down and maul me if you had to wear a cast with your dress."

Bella laughed and patted her backpack. "What you don't realize is that I have a nice little crowbar hidden in here. I came prepared today."

We walked along a small trail that led to the top of the cliff. I walked behind Bella to catch her if she were to fall. It was a short trip, but she stumbled more than a few times, and soon enough we were at the top. I laid out a thin blanket that I had with me before helping Bella take off the pack.

"Oh, this thing is heavier than it looks. You should have told me earlier, I would have carried it for you."

Bella sat, setting the backpack in front of her. "You eat a like a horse, so I had to make sure I had enough. Sorry though, I couldn't find a live cow for you."

I chuckled, remembering that night at the bonfire when Billy had told our tribal stories. "I'll survive without the cow, just this once. So…what did you make me?" I asked eagerly, rubbing my hands together.

"Welllll…I didn't exactly make it," she said as she pulled out container after container of food. Everything looked and smelled fantastic. There was homemade bread, fresh fruit, a pasta salad, cold fried chicken, and apple crisp amongst other little things.

"You shouldn't have gone to all the trouble to buy it," I said.

Bella hesitated before smiling widely. "I didn't. Esme has been trying her hand at cooking for me. It's amazing how good it is, considering she can't eat what she makes and she has no ability to 'season to taste'."

I froze halfway through her little explanation, my light mood suddenly gone. "You're kidding, right?"

She made a face at me. "Oh, give it a rest, Jake. It's not like they're going to poison you."

I wasn't so sure. I didn't move except to eye the food cautiously.

Bella huffed. "For crying out loud, if they were going to mess with the food they'd have to worry about me eating it too. Here." She took a bite out of almost everything. "See, there…I was your official taste tester. You know, for a big bad wolf, you're kind of a wuss."

I couldn't help but laugh, considering she'd said her entire little speech with her mouth full. "Ok, ok."

I reluctantly bit into the fried chicken and immediately my mouth watered. It was incredible. She looked at me expectantly. "Not bad," I said with a smile.

She rolled her eyes. "Sure, that's what I'll tell Esme. 'You went to all the trouble to pack this for a werewolf and all he could say was it wasn't bad.' She'll be disappointed."

"Fine, it's probably the best fried chicken I've ever had," I said before devouring the rest of the chicken breast, tossing the bone aside, and picked up another piece. "Better?"

"Absolutely."

We ate in companionable silence for a few minutes before curiosity got the best of me. "How did Edward take the news?"

"News?"

"About your accident." I forked a huge bite of apple crisp into my mouth and almost groaned in pleasure. _I wonder if Eden can cook like this. If she can I'll have died and gone to heaven._

Bella instantly smiled. "Ah. Well, Alice wanted to take me to the hospital to get stitches since everyone who had gone to med school was hunting. I refused, but I didn't want to call Edward either, so I tried to convince Esme to do it. Esme had the needle and thread ready when Alice saw it leaving a scar. So she chickened out and called Carlisle," she relayed the story, laughing the whole time.

I could see Alice freaking out over a scar for the wedding. I laughed along with her before going back to my food.

I downed everything she'd packed, even going so far as to lick my fingers so I wouldn't spare a crumb. I would never say it aloud, but it was probably the best meal I'd ever had.

Bella had finished long before I did and sat there, staring out over the water.

"What's on your mind?"

She shrugged. "Lots of stuff…it's hard to explain."

"You can try."

She hesitated, sounding more unsure than I'd ever heard before. "So much has happened over such a short period of time. Looking back over the past year…it's just all gone by so fast."

I stayed silent. No one was forcing her into this decision, it was hers to make. She'd heard it from me before, and I knew saying it again would upset her. Then it hit me. _What would I do if she didn't go through with it?_

I'd imprinted and already I knew how strong that attraction was, how it would only get stronger. If she didn't go through with her plans to be a Cullen, I wouldn't be there for her in the way I'd originally thought I would be.

Instantly, I felt guilty. Partly for hoping she would change her mind, for hoping she wouldn't, and for the damper my imprint had been put on the feelings I had for her. I loved every single part of Bella, but not the way I once did. I knew those feelings were nothing more now than those for a very close friend. A large part of it had to do with the imprint I knew, but part of it was because I'd felt abandoned by her when Billy was in the hospital.

"Are you…having doubts?" I asked. My heart raced with panic, my mind trying to come up with any possibility of how to react if that was her choice.

She shook her head immediately. "No, not at all. But even after I'm turned, there are things…"

Disappointment and relief mixed inside, causing fresh guilt to wash over me. "What things?"

"Things I'll miss," she said carefully.

I paused, not wanting to ask, afraid of what she might say.

She sighed and turned her body towards me, crossing her legs and picking at her shorts. "I'd always thought I wouldn't be giving anything up if Edward turned me, but since it won't be long now I've been thinking about it more and more."

She paused, twiddling her fingers. "I'm going to miss my mom. I've gotten used to living without her, but knowing I _can't_ see her once I turn makes it hard. And Charlie…I'm so glad I came to live here, to spend the time with him that I did. I know they both worry about me, and they're going to worry more over time, when they don't see me for years on end." She looked down as tears started to well in her eyes. "Alice said eventually we'll have to fake my death, and I can only imagine what it's going to do to them."

I couldn't help myself. I pulled her close. "I'm sorry." For the first time I got a real idea of how difficult her choice had to be. Leave the one you love, or leave the rest. If someone told me I'd have to choose between Eden or my friends and family, it would be the hardest choice of my life.

She sniffed. "Eventually everyone I know will die."

I nodded and shrugged. "That's life, Bella…for everyone but vampires anyway."

"And for werewolves," Bella added, pulling away from me with a small smile.

I frowned and shook my head. "I guess it's possible, but I don't _want_ to live forever. The people I love aren't immortal, and I wouldn't be able to handle losing everyone."

I'd lose Billy, my sisters, some of the wolves, all of their spouses, and, eventually, Eden. I didn't want to imagine it, not when we were just starting to get to know each other. I didn't want to think of losing that. I couldn't right now.

She nodded, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. "I know, Jake. I was just kidding. It's just really hard to talk to Edward about this stuff. You know he'd just think it's one more reason I should just stay human, but…that doesn't mean I haven't thought about it a lot lately."

"I'm sure. You're going to die, and you're thinking about life…makes sense," I said. I was just joking about the dying part, trying to lighten things up.

She scowled and smacked me again. "Thanks for reminding me," she paused, blushing. "…thanks for listening too."

I shrugged. "I'm your friend, Bella, it's what I do." I'd reminded her who I was, and now I needed some answers. "To be honest, though, I was surprised you even wanted to see me. We hadn't seen each other or talked in so long..."

Bella sighed, seeming to understand where I was going with the conversation. "I'm sorry, Jake."

I sat back, leaning on my hands behind me. I waited for her explanation, knowing I would forgive her either way, but needing to hear it.

"Charlie told me how upset you were. I'm so sorry. Jake… I thought it would be better for everyone. I swear," she said quietly, staring at the ground.

That caught me off guard. I figured she would give me a long explanation about planning for her wedding and her conversion. _Instead I get this??_

"You thought it would be better to spend weeks in the hospital, my father on the verge of dying, and not having one of my best friends around?" I couldn't believe she was saying this. The anger and hurt that I'd felt before was creeping back in when I glared her. "Yeah, so much better."

"No. I called, Jake. I left messages. I asked Charlie every night about how Billy was doing. I just…I couldn't come to the hospital." She pulled her knees up to her chest, hugging them tight.

I felt betrayed. "I was there for you, Bells. I've always been there when you needed me. That was a rough time and I could have used the same thing."

The heat in my words was cutting her deep. She had buried her head in her knees and I felt a jerk as her shoulders started shaking.

"I need to understand," I pushed, trying to persuade her to continue.

She raised her head slightly and sat her chin on her knees. Her eyes were rimmed red and her cheeks wet. She kept her eyes on the ground as she spoke. "I knew that if I came to the hospital, I would want to be there for you, to try to comfort you. I don't think I could have avoided it. I was afraid that it would draw us closer, and that it would make things harder for both of us in the end, Jake. And I've made a promise to Edward…I figured I would end up hurting everyone again."

I laid flat on my back and stared up at the sky. I'd never thought about it from that angle before. Still, a small part of the resentment I felt was there, gnawing at me. "It ended up hurting everyone anyway," I said softly. I looked over at her as her shoulders dropped.

"Yeah, it did. I felt so bad about not being there for you that I was miserable, which made Edward feel bad…and we know how you felt. I guess there was no right answer." She turned towards me, leaning on one arm. "Jake, I'm so sorry. Please…please tell me you'll forgive me."

She looked so dejected, so desperate for forgiveness. I pulled her down next to me, tucking her head in the crook of my arm.

"I was so angry with you. I couldn't understand why you'd do that. I'm not saying what you did makes any sense to me…but I could never stay mad at you forever. In our case, forever is a very long time," I said with a chuckle.

I felt her laugh once before sighing. "Does that mean I'm forgiven?"

"Hmmm, I think that's a safe assumption." There was no point holding a grudge. She would be leaving soon, and I would be moving on. It reminded me of what Leah had said. _'Life is too short.'_

"Thank you, Jake," she said softly.

After a moment, I cleared my throat. "So…how are wedding plans coming along?"

She groaned. "Ugh. Alice is going crazy with it." She went on to describe moment after horrific moment of decisions on placeware, dresses, flowers, pictures, lighting… Remembering Emily's reaction to wedding planning made me think that Alice's obsessive planning would be better spent with Emily than Bella.

"It will all be over soon. You've only got what…three weeks to go?"

"Yeah. Hey, that reminds me. Edward told me he sent you an invitation and we haven't heard from you or your dad yet. Are you coming?"

I adjusted myself, pulling my arm out from under her head, and sat up. "I'm not sure about Billy, but me…ahhhhh, I don't think so, Bella. No offense, but that's asking a little too much."

I knew that the deep ache, the longing, I'd once felt for Bella was no more, but part of me still loved her, and I wasn't a masochist. Seeing her marry a leech was going past my point of self control. A large part of me still believed she was throwing her life away.

"I understand," she said, though she sounded disappointed. "I guess vampire-werewolf relations have gone about as far as they're going to, huh?"

I chuckled. "I guess you could put it that way. But I do hope your wedding day goes well. Don't trip over your dress."

She sat up next to me, laughing. "Don't make me pull out my crowbar," she threatened.

"Speaking of weddings. Are you coming to Sam and Emily's? Emily told me she sent you an invitation." I was honestly hoping she would. She had made friends with most of the wolves and their companions. I knew she was welcome.

She hesitated before finally shrugging. "I'd like to, but I don't know if we'll be around. I guess we'll see when the time comes."

She snuck a peek at her watch and sighed. "I'd better be getting back." She knelt and started stuffing the containers into the backpack.

It struck me that this just might be the last time I would ever see Bella, and I wanted to be honest with her. I grabbed her arm, stopping her from getting up. "Bella, there's one more thing I need to tell you."

She took one look at my face and her expression turned serious. She sat down slowly, a wary look on her face. "Ok…"

_Where do I start? _I sat for a second, trying to figure out how to tell her what was on my mind, about what had happened over the past few days. "I figured that I need to be honest with you, and you deserve to hear it."

When she'd come to the house after I'd been injured we'd talked about how she might feel if I imprinted. At one point I'd actually convinced myself that if I ever imprinted I would never tell her in hopes of making it easier for her to leave. I'd wanted her to feel bad about leaving me behind. But now I realized that not telling her would be beyond dishonest, it would be mean.

"Uh oh…nothing good ever came from words like that." She actually looked a bit worried.

I took a deep breath, and jumped right into my explanation. "When my dad came home from the hospital, he needed extra help with his injury. He needed to have a nurse come and work with him…" She stared at me, tipping her head to the side and furrowing her brows in confusion. "It was completely unexpected, but…I imprinted, Bella."

Instantly shock covered her face. Her eyes flew open and her mouth flew open in an 'O' of surprise.

I sat there in silence, letting her process what I'd just told her. I had no idea how she was going to react to this. She really had two options and both of them scared me to death. If she stood up and stormed out of my life, it would break my heart. But if she wished me good luck with the woman who was to be my soul mate, that would hurt too. I waited, biting nervously on my lip.

It took her a few minutes to respond again. She just sat there, still as a statue, just looking down at her hands. When she did, she spoke so softly I almost didn't hear her. "What's her name?" She stared in my direction, eyes unfocused.

"Eden," I said simply. I loved the way it rolled off my tongue. Immediately, images of her flashed through my mind.

"When?"

"A few days ago."

Had it only been a few days? It seemed like weeks, months. She was already a part of me that I couldn't let go. It was kind of scary how fast it happened.

"Does she know yet?" Her voice broke through my trance, and I found her looking at me, her expression unreadable. "About the imprint, I mean."

I shook my head. "She doesn't know about any of this…yet. I'm hoping to fill her in on most of it sometime soon, but I'm afraid it might scare her away."

That was the truth and it worried me enough to twist my stomach in knots. I was afraid she'd go running for the hills when she found out I could turn into a big, hairy dog, and that my main job was to rip bloodsucking vampires apart. It would sound insane to her very logical mind, and I could just imagine her face when she heard it. The last thing I wanted to do was blow my future with her.

"I didn't run…Emily and Kim didn't run," Bella said, looking out over the water.

I laughed. "Well, it wouldn't be so hard to believe if you already know about vampires," I reminded her. "Kim had fallen for Jared way before he imprinted, so she wasn't too freaked. Emily took a little longer…"

"So give her a little time," she said. She looked as if she was forcing a smile.

"I know, but…I can't even explain what its like," I said, the goofy grin back. I really couldn't, and even if I could it might feel strange explaining my love for a woman I'd just met when, not more than a month ago, I'd declared my love for Bella. I blushed red, a little embarrassed.

Bella bit her lower lip and cocked her head slightly to the side. "What's she like?"

I smiled. I knew Bella was trying, and that all of this might be hard for her. I was glad that she was asking, though. I looked out over the water, speaking quickly as I described Eden. If I was a woman I'd describe it as 'gushing'.

"Like I said, she's a nurse, and older than I am. She's from Wisconsin, and Native American too. She's amazingly beautiful and has gorgeous green eyes…" I stopped myself when I looked back in Bella's direction. She was biting her lip again, looking as if she wanted to cry.

I put my hand on her shoulder. "What's wrong?" But I knew what was wrong. I'd gone too far.

She waved me off and reached a hand up to smooth her hair. "Nothing, I…it…I'm…" She stopped herself and cleared her throat. "I'm happy for you, Jake. Truly…but it's still hard to hear. Now I can imagine how you might have felt when I'd talk about Edward."

I laughed. "Are you telling me you're jealous?"

She scowled at me. "Maybe…a little. I already told you I probably would be." She sighed. "Is that selfish of me?"

I smiled. "A little…but I'm ok with selfish." I hadn't meant to make Bella jealous, but I couldn't say that I was sorry she was. It meant she still cared.

She hid herself behind her hands and laughed. "Well, then you're good." She paused, "I'm happy for you. I hope she realizes what she's got in front of her."

I had that same hope, but I wasn't going to discuss that, or my fears right now, so I just nodded my agreement. "I'll finish packing the stuff if you want to call him to meet us."

She got up and dug a small silver cell phone from her pocket. She made a quick call and then led the way back to the bike. I let her carry the backpack, since it was practically weightless now that the food was gone.

I handed her the riding jacket and then the helmet. She hesitated before putting it on. "I'm glad you told me, Jake...I guess it's a good thing everything worked out like it did."

I knew she meant it was a good thing she didn't end up with me because of the imprint. I'd been waiting for her to say something like that, but hoping that she wouldn't. It might be true, but I still didn't want to hear it. I could feel my irritation flare. "Why'd you have to go there, Bells?"

She raised her eyes to mine, her forehead wrinkling in confusion. "Go where?"

"You know what I mean…using this to make yourself feel better about your choice."

Her face turned red and her eyes blazed. "I didn't mean it that way."

I snorted my disbelief. "Then how did you mean it?"

She crossed her arms and cocked her hip. "I'm happy with my choice, Jake, but that doesn't mean I didn't wish I had some way to make you happy too. I'm glad that everything worked out this way because now we all have a chance for it…for happiness."

I waited, sizing up what she'd said against her body language. _Maybe I overreacted_.

She stood there, waiting for a response.

I sighed, not wanting to ruin a perfectly good day. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry that you even thought that of me." She was still a bit huffy, but she pulled her helmet on and climbed on behind me.

I kicked the bike to life and pulled up the kickstand. She wrapped her arms as far as she could around my torso. I put a hand on one of hers, talking over my shoulder. "I'm glad you came today."

"Me too, Jake," she said, leaning forward to prop her head against my back.

I drove off towards the border, trying to figure out how I would say goodbye to her. I was so distracted that the border was right in front of me before I knew it. I was amazed we'd gotten there in one piece. I didn't remember a single part of the ride.

Edward was already waiting on the other side, leaning patiently against his bike. I didn't bother kicking down the stand as Bella got off. She pulled off her helmet and stood beside me.

"Am I going to see you again?" It felt so strange, waiting to say goodbye to one of the best friends I'd ever known, my first love. It would be easier than I thought, but not _that_ easy.

"I don't know, Jake. Do you want me to call when we…finalize all the plans?"

I nodded and hesitated before hugging her tightly. "Bye, Bells."

She wrapped her arms around mine for a moment and then let go. "Bye, Jake." She turned around and walked towards her future as I spun the bike around, riding towards mine.

* * *

_This was by far the hardest chapter I've written because everything just felt so wrong at first. Thanks to Cygos for giving me the extra nudge I needed to make sure I didn't leave crap on this site. I just hope it's better and that it feels more in character now. I need to go back and reread New Moon and Eclipse to get a better feeling for Jacob again. Therefore, between that and work it might be two weeks before I post another chapter. Please be patient with me. Thanks for reading! _


	25. Author's Note

Hello all:

I apologize that it has been so long since I've updated but the end of January and all of February so far has been a very difficult time for my family and me. We've lost a family member recently in a very unexpected way and its taking a toll. Besides that, my computer has died on me as well. We're going to get it fixed as soon as we can but I'm not sure when that will be. I'm not sure when I'll be able to update again. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I'm not going to abandon the story. It just might take me a little longer. Please, be patient with me. When I can update I will replace this note with the new chapter. Thank you all for reading.

-Dana

(aka- TopazSun)


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